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 'I- 'i m If i TWM LIME-KIUr CLWB. f ollQwi^ mlM and. regoladinia would orshoMdniiaK »i|MMl ollialcnnnt chUblaiiM. â-  f^' Wf-- the Uhncy wltiiomfc gii^f â- mumfm be fined not leM tli^^.(«r n^dij^ than 97,000, aceonSng'to the^ae» the ' work. **Memben irilliiot be permitted to dit- COM poCtIca of religion in -die Indt, bnt may freelj talk lunae and lay tlie founda- tion for dog-fighta. **The prodding officer li to be address- ed aa *Miswr PMaCtent,* and not as 'Speaker' or 'Chairman,' liis rank being the same as the President cf the State Senate. " Willie member* are • not prohibited from eating onions for soppw on the night of Uie club, their attention is citUed to the faet that Limborger cheese is a i^ood thing to break in on a mono- tony. "A fraternal feeling Is ezpcc edto pre- vail between members, bat atiy member lending another money most take his chances on repayment. la case of a heme trade they are to forget for the time le- iog that they ever caw each other before or will ever meet again. "All dogi are to be left in charge of the outer guard, who will not be held fin- ancially responsible for any accidents. "The members wearing clean shirts and haTicg oil on their hair will take the front row of benches. "No member will be excused from serving on a caminittee unless he can prove that iuaanity has always run in the family. "In case the roof of Paradise Hall falls in each member will have license to get out as speedily as possible, but in case of a fire it is expected that the of- ficers will take precedence in getting down stairs. "All razors left in the hall after a meeting will be carefully laid away by the Janitor, and once in three months there shall be a public sale, the proceeds of which shall go towards the founding of a Home for Superanusted Colored Scientists. AN EMPTY HAT. ' The Sasretary announced a communi- cation from Sflrs. Matilda Ereleen Banks, of Oolumbos, Ga., who signed herself "The only colored lady in the world who lectures on the future of the colored man at fifteen cents a head children free doors open at the usual hour please assist a good work." She didn't want to leoture before the Lime- Kiln Club, but she ap- pealed in the name oi all that was Sacred for the dub to take up a collection to as- sist her in publishing a book of poems she liad dashed ofi at odd times. "Jews so," said Brother Gardner as her scratched liie back of his neck. "Brndden Walpole will ciroumlate de hat, an' ae opportunity will te offered fur each on-* o you to contribute to de good cause." The hat cam back as empty as a polita ioal promlsa aud as dry as a last year's halibut, and the President peered into It jmd observed "Ois club am either 4avin' up It- ohange for de fust run o' watermellyons- or else it believes de ke ntry isn't han- kerin' arter mo' poems. De Seckretary will kindly notify the poetess of the re- sult." HOT THIS SEASON, The following communication, dated from Montreal, was then annouaced The Handel-Mosart Jewett Club of Jubilee Singers (colored) of this city are about to take the road upon a grand musical tour, and request to be allowed the privilege of adding to our a dvertise ments which will likely appear from Hali fax, N. S., to Ylotoria, B. C, the phrase: 'Under the distinguished patronage of Brother Gardner, President of the world- renowed Lime-Kiln Club." In exchange we would giro our serrieea gratis at a grand concert lefore the elite of your city upon our arrival there some time during the summer of 1887, which would, no doubt net you a sufficient sum to warrant the erection of a new Paradise HaU. By order, PiOF. Adam Dabluig Esaw Jones, Honorable Secretary. « Permishun cannot le granted replied the President. "Ebery tub should stan' on its own bottom, an' if de show spoken of has any real merit it will run on its own repntashun. If it am a bad crowd «n' poor show we doan' want to help ad- vertise it. ealvad and oatefollj ' iflOM of feh0 BMStillg ij^ down to witMEBNloa diffannt m^m^ .thifr with to An Immortal Cat. Uhan. «3ti -*^.«eitaii wetk 48 cents to kill a black cat abont li^ a«iMidi, in hjS^ .liest da;^ crawl tb^aW^JdEast of warn mfil^. ^If has alav^wwfe^ io«r sifss^ leals toloa* memberi of the honsenold, MUsed by the antimely diseasaloa of me subject, nob eountii^ three ioeale beloii^iigto the cat, danng the time her exeentiftn was pending, and one night's sleep lost to the hired giil doting which she was^haont- ed by the ' ghpst of a b]»ck cat with a back arched to the very skies, with fire streaming from her nostrils, and si can labeled " dynamite" tied to h«r taUâ€" the ghost appearing to her by walking on the headboard of the bed, waiting for her to go to sleep in order to complete the destruction of the household. The cat still lived Tuesday morning, and at last accounts was ^sappearing down Lisbon street in a basket lugged by a boy with red mittens and a for cap. The death of the cat was decided upon Suiday. Monday she was chloroformed with ten cents' worth of chloroform, and a wash tub for sea room. Monday night the tub was lifted and in ten minutes the cat was in the front yard, and in four rounds had cleaned out a brindle cow who had s'lrolled in over the. garden wall during her enforced vacation. She ome in at tea-time hungry and laboring under great excitement and was cap- tured. A double dose of chloroform for sapper enabled her to rest well during the night and to get up, somewhat hungry but not discouraged, Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning ehe came out for breakfast. She was fed on chlo- roform again, the man of the house re- marking that it was expensive, but that if there was anything he lid like it was to make his home comfortable. At break- fasi the reappearance of the cat caused the hired girl to drop- a china platter un- der the impression that it was her ghostly friend, the dynamite cat. At noon the wash-tub was heard to give out animated sounds, and so the boy with red mittens and the fur cap was called in, and bribed with a dime to bring relief, by a hole in the ice, to the cat and the household. The cat is now supposed to have been de- capitated, but, like the cat of the story, she may turn up on the front door steps ciying for admittance, and bring her own head in her mouth. ••IB* of old. He makethoaboT* nnzdiible permitUJd and trisd ' ,t have had We daim that i medidn! cvie |ba of its .^ists fif^ oenlfes. 'â- ^M^iixmioo* (BntiuHiartio Wagnerlte to iHitiignwi \ffm9ms^ms^ n£ A PffilEete^ Lottery ^tUTtiiTort. fA»^p« iletir *« '**"«™ 'â-  to' i«iium, IB how we ought to oherish it that life n^y ndtbe'sworthliMiblanktons. MiAtot UwdiaMin thit' flwb is heir to, and Irhiolf make life buidensome, sush as con- sinmtiMs(8erofala the luxigs) and other sorcf uloos and blood diseases, find a oom- JhJbe ctm lit Dr. R. Y. Fiaree'a ' Golden tM)io4 Disooveiy " whenall other reme- dies have failed. Dr. Pieioe's pamphlet en consumption mailed for two stamps. Addiesa, Worl4's Dispensary Medical Association, Buff^o, N. T. Man wants but little .haie biU owe, bat wants that lltdepaid. .*.'.â-  *.* Delicate diseaiea of either sex, however induced, speedily and per- manently cored. Consultation ee. Book three (3ct.) stamps. World's Disoensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. T. The inventor of a flying machine is soarly to be pitied. Sore Pop. Poison's Nnbviune, the great pain cure, Is sore pop every time. No need to ppend a large sum to gat prompt relief from every kind of pidn, for 10 cents will purcluse a trial bottle. Qo to any drug store for It. Large bottles only 25 cents, at all druggists. Neviline the pain king, cures cramps, headache, neuralgia. An aching tootli, filled with batting saturated with NervUine, will cease acung within five minutes. Tiy Nerviline for all kinds of pain. Ten and 26 cents a bottle. tm ONTAMonLf GO. J)oroinioD Line ot 8t« 'St. t^ nm^Vn, Aicen ts Wantea. feim^^toWniieoMon wittthe G«l, trom Quebeo emns? „4i-dB0Hi.Tr^ Clapperton's Spool Cotton I â- MriBg BMhine. BeTaiiii OiAPF»TO»Wme h o thiTiiSwL jV-Itetaiabvan**»CoodiDMden. ^hlonaro fc Ca, York ;H. BourUer. To^iaiiT'.,^ AS?1 QMbeo; Wai. Bwki2.?fc AUan. Pfoirietor Botton" Moffif dir tarinc Um wf^er^noS!" 4RNIA,^tay Ik. '^^^,7 4„. imt-^^^m •t star BHM â- Ins atrcet. Bast. Tereata Larse double Drlvlmc Belts a nwalalty. BaC tm Prlew Usts aad DIaaegnta. OUT THIS OUT! The Kew Co^OperatiTO rejected. A social club at Olympia, W. T., sent in an application to be maide a branch lodge, but it was discovered that one of their members was a defaulting church treasurer from Ohio, and the application was at once rejected. The motto of the far Westerners was also objected to " Never approach a smoke-house door ^ithoot lo jkuag for a spring gun." As Elder Too soMtrved: 'Why does any member of de Idme- Kiln Club desiah to approach a smoke- hooael What poaiihle objick could ho have T What am de use of approachln' a smoke-hoose when yoo kin appnadi da ^igpenr A PKOSFSCXrVE BANQVBI. The Hon. Stepbabk Smith leeond the 'floor to offer a socgsatibn. The wator- malon and the omm laea faadeome to be one aad and inaapaiabls^ Tbe only dxawhaekwaatha faofe thak tha eolerad man was good for twobo BDiiilHin the jraar, whllo the wa i i n iii m i im phyad oat in throe. HI. idea WM Itet, wpoa the m- eetot of tha fint melon of the aasBOB, tho -dob siioald hold a special mnothm In lo eogii t iontrf the fa^ and aO spnociirti. poems and atatiatiei on tta Ins- fnut woold be «ith«riMtiflally i»- Sinjnilarities of Eminent Men. Luther and Yernlam believed in witches. Dr. Johnson objected to going under a ladder. Byron was a victim of shyness. His biographer relates that, while on a visit to Mrs. P^ot, of South- well, when he saw visitors approaching he would jump out of the window on to the lawn to avoid them. Shadweil, De Qoinqy, Coleridge, and the impostor, Psalmanazar, were addicted to the ose of opium. Fuseli and Dtyden ate raw meat to Inspfare vMd dreams. Byron seems to have found poetieal inspiration in the prosaic tipple of gin and water. Shelley, while composing, was continually eati.:g bread. Scott wrote best when children were playing about him. Boyse wrote his poems lying in. bed, whith two holes in the blanket for his hands. Few people can read or write well while.mnsic is beii^ played in the room yet Alfieri found it necessary for the composition of his tiB- gedies. He was also possessed with the strange ambition, not of being the first poet, but the first runner in Italy. Handel could never bear to hear the ton- ing of of the orchestra. Blackstone never penned a line withoo^. a bottle of old port at his elbow. Melancthon is reported to have frequently studied the gravest points of theology with his book in one hand and in the other the edge of acandle, which he continually rocked. Paley used togo without stockings. Adam Smith was fond of nibbling lump su'ear on the sly. Spinosa used to laugh tiU he cried at spiders fighting. Perhaps it is not very siuKular, coiisiderhig the eroelty of the man, that Ivan the Terrible used to go and see prisoners tortored before inreak- fast. ttat The boy whose hair is cob by his moth- er seldom takes off his hat when there are ny girls aronnd* Few people have any idea of the care with which tobaczo has to be attended after it is grown. It will imbibe odors of almost any kind if placed near the source of tiiem. A pig stye, for instance, near the place where the planter stores his crops will im- part a dist^greeable flavor, which no care afterwards will divest it of. Among tJie many precautions tE^en to obtain a unlt- leas leaf for the "Mvrtle Navy" brand, is to ascertain carefully *the methods which eveij fanner adopts with his crops in the sections of Virginia where the "Myrtle Navy" is grown. A man is often called a bartender when in reality he is a bar tough. What an EnsUshman Wants. Leeds, 26 Norwood Crescent, Yietotla Road, Leeds. 21 Janoaiy, 1884. Gents Kfaidly send me the price of Pcxnak's PAimiss Oosn Extractor. I have tried it and found it an admirable remedy. I oall every three months opon the beat boot dealers in tiie nortii of Ihig land. I will, if I ean profitably, boy and sell it. Toots troly, S. DUNN. Use only Putnun's Painleas Com Ex- tractor. N. 0. Poison Co., Kingston, proprs. A hen-pecked hosband is not always shrewd. Sewing Wachioe! â€"â€"IS THE-^ BEST IN THE MARKET. NSW STAIVD NEW FURXlTOtE Latest Improved Attachments Agents price for similar macMiie $60 Our price only {25 eacli. Before baying send ns rtamp for oar e'ejuit photo- gnph »nd Munple Eetricg. ISr Hsehine* fcoanuiteed for 3 yeui Mid tent on trUL Apy Ikdy vutting s maehUie will do well to write to THE COOPERATIVE Sewing laciiine Co. 22 JAMES ST. SOUTH, HAMILTON. OSTASIO PUMP CO. farther putieolMi apply to mwoSSS^' BXT» TOKH^^i Vol LADIES TANSY 5.?..^^^ PREMIES. RCDGE. BOIAL CASinii KA»l«4EO0Si M 2nd.hand BU Tnoycles. *»â-  Send for Lift Send 3c. stampforiu, logue ever issued ijo A. T. LANE. Mont 'ENGfjMEm^ «rjl«trs.otHAND STAMPS SteelAlphab* =^ style fine RUBBER STAMPSlTypti I Iron BRANOS.Stencnv«;DlLS.â„¢ â-  (Idmited.) Officb and Factobt oob. Spadina AND Cecil Sts., TOR09ITO, OKT. mmmm -iSST* • PoMtlvo remedy for the ahovo^ JIMthoarands of cmos of the worst klni. •tMdlM have been cured. Indeed, toftrowZI *» » 'SSf y. that I win send TWO BotS)* getber vltb aTALCABLB TKEATISE on thSfd "•' '• â- Â»- BLOCCil. 181 Pwl8i,J( R. Atb. U. AWAF THAT Lorillard's CHmu fc«arinK a red tin tag that I „ _,. Itoee lieaf fine cut tlutlai tM best wid cheapest, qnaUty considered TANKS frnn the smsilect ap to S,88S Mb. guanunteed to grind from â- â€¢ to 95 boeheLi per hour, •ooordingr to dse. Thete Mills are the mortdnnble, Mif eot and cheapeat Iran KedMiUyetinTmtad. OMurrltâ€" A Hvw Farh^a the moat ertnodliiaiT ams been aohlared tai modem eriw_._ __ ,___ ettelBed fay the Dizna TraatmeBt of Cetuik ^t of a;ouO MttetB treeted dorias thepMt oued oftiui sMiMin- mdad^T'Thla 1? ^SS the lees BteraiBs ynhm. It is nmembondOaS not flT«Pw 'p^ of tbe pettanta nesanSw UmnselTee to the nsoiar sncatttaSTim taMattad. while thepirtl^'^SSilSSS £S Sn^aSSST^'SfU^ â- Â«Â«Â« record eoBWM the dleeeiB Is diw to flio *^ hl« ene. to thdt !â-  â- â- ^.lAii.^iiw ,â€"â€" â€" .. w- â€" maiinnm l« 1^ â€" -.^ -« himllBiir to "• The VoltimBelt Oo., of MenhalL Midr.. offer to Mild their oalebretod Blectro- 7olht!o Belt aad other Kleotrio Appliaaof a on trial for thir^ daya, so men (yoang or old) afflicted with nervous debility, lost of vitality and manhood, and all kindred troables. Also for rheomatiam, nenralgia, paralysis, and many other diaeaaes. Com' pleto reatoratioB to health, vigor and man* hood gnaraateed. No riak ia inoorred aa thirty daya trial ia allowed. Write them at anoe Ito illnatratod pamidilet free. A. P. 225 FLBMB TOB SAI.E.-AU UndL-Seiid J( C JeHH J. PAI.KT. Gnelph. for Uat eleven Sizes GEARED WINDMILLS ft«ai 1 to to h. p., for Pumping Water, mnnlnff Grain Crushers, Straw Cutters, Root Pnlpers, or any otiier nuchinerr up to a 40 h. p. grist mUI. ••« cheapest iTttJitotot. yonr Canta«e Maker. lUtal Anf) PUMPING WINDMILLS I from 8 to SO feet diameter. TBOB. GUlAOWAT a Co., OottOD, WooUen, Silk, Oa pet, an d Worsted Bh uttle Makers. Dnndas, On iSK'YOVB 6B0@^ FOB IMP ERIAL FRENCH SHOE BLACKING PAiJillssMfiiiffir^S^^^j BanliarrPao. rVh. Osoadlaii Sepaattorr, T-vonMOan.' YOUIIG MABRIEO »e%lT.:^»5;";S3i PtTBI IIVBO ATBSHUtXS for sale, two eows, t Wa miUas heif Its and one bnU. Write for dcserip- ««. prfee and pedipee to Q. P. Baksb. tra*»T«ar CLAOHMaCM HEBD.-FOB SALK-A nUZbw^ pw«-bre4 (hort-bov Bites BaUs MBlag and MMtac Mo sooMsii £"*.£j9* *^ rsSomiBMiMj *Mim IB â- nilseiMitbs ani aaC|lMita AisOHhif â- BdOSMl UIXIi«M] HAYING TOOLS. A fUIUneofthe Beat The rage ha tinsel ia en the inenpaa. seAi applieaiidn JAMBivOWAN k HOUh.oST nho BBHJK ft TICB MAKBBO.^It *oa warn â-  aiaes sad boOMs, and the latest isipioMdhi •nd tUabClaMnHhint, and stone MpamMasmaeUi. tor steaas or botse powar. bidsiM m cTFAXkK. â-  Hea sweaiT *3o. B».ThoBiM.Ort^ TaBBUM|»pM.-llna»ifin,,d awte^iiSg j^ymamt Bra Watar,i*ear«i aU diseases K^tta* MS eai^^^fin Oete Bifadnew, l-_ MwitieaL .-Oiaa.fsr -sitadar to see ihe OMJUk Png SIOKED .jl^^ a^j SiOSAGBS. PUMPS. Iran and Wood. Foree or Uf t. Deep Wek Pwnpa a Speoisltjr. Send usyooraddraason apost card and we een* yon 104 page iUuatrated catalogue free. Hentloa shls Faper. Pipe Pipe Fittings IH fket a fall Uae ofWator «apply Material. will CAUTIO: â- adPloftfOi MYRTLE Ml J8 MARKED T. b Br«BM LetterSi. â- eiE THEH GEHOII john:tojs Fluf ,t„dWl tethear [%gVo.-*tbr.i«t-B« sUleisha Btai torK«ae •*5rS»n*h WelLngt t|fce Mca^ «r"» *• _i laA^fiSit r-Mt hear l^^cd thy last-Bea la Wdl*M««^» ««»* i in any way, whethe In moving inland fa ooold uitervene, I OB it. Vain would 1 of can elaewher [ha'^a nabythe throat MiMmes have been de^ of London. The J (me of quite nniqne d the vast andconacantl [of the metropolis. Onl abaolnte In power i iiM the taak makin that ia of indosing the to seonre it from ling theae with an oi I to ihelter it from bombi I has been more tl i by abandoning the Land proposing to bi 1 with detached forts, and armed. Bat besid |of looking np in these fo I neoeasaiy to man them, ' wonld render it vaii J sites so extensive jmply the ability to at Ion ia never victna /, and never coc i of the sea were loi rtiie ability to protect l^hnd to relieve the fiel it]^ of always direct lition which must b woold perhaps lead I of our forces. I wot I the practicable and, 'way preferable conrse of positions round Loi b first the mos** vulnerabl Nght start frpm Claybi n-on-the-Roding, to tJ Btrking thence so I, following either the heights of Plumstead I I to Bromley, or if it wen ' to preserve Woolwic • of fire, the more for w. J^ey, Ohiselhurst, B ' Backenham, Upper Nt »bl«Ja^to Kingston I the Thames would b Tto to Kew thence a 'A«* Willeaden, M in*!?^ Woodford, to t L?wwt, of some 50 nules iJhBat be ohoaen, eac! ./,?J~|«»»,leikdingnpon ^•.POi*lel«nSnfpUce Itisttieonly prepiration of the kisd' Ins all the uutiitioua. together witb tfj l«t^prapcrti sof beet, aad the oiiiff\ power to snpnly nourishment (or bisu** --^aiBtolfc The Temperance Colonization Soei^ thif Free Homesteads. ^Yy^^Ti^^K'j^^^rs '•-.'-â- â€¢- f. â- , .T ^^"^T^M'" â-  â-  rat Lmd Free to Actual » £2 ?-!?• ***? Lgggg*^ .»*tss BSBiiB g thmi«h tt; sober, thrifty. .â- Â»*! APBIL 2^1 SBAMB* tamhhad on wp^ietli^- MvMt Wast. rA«ii*