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 -\ '♦J*'" are Mi* ke no •(! Th.kii]s MB In de hdl to- hi. Mid M «X» ,•â-  f « ie*'«"!lf clflsr of the benohei he li«l"Pu-!/Ii turned in. â-  â- tithk^SIi^." continued the l^'**'..T wis told to-day d»t your l^'" u «f« bin hard times." kiuppowj^-.g^orkdis winter." ferUbS keerce.»ah." Work^flW ^^ had work in a foundry '^^iMgettfn' ten -hillings a day, rJJck fur twelver- «w«Bgaa»aiai«acaBrHBTrn«r?a oryin' you figger dat worth twelve BhilUna ^hevcomeaanlghde poo rigitwidoutenterm^dedoah.' linrterhsdnio'pay, aah. ' t maV be, but as long as you SitToawasan idiot to frow ;;?^/Fn'ouldget matper. hev you gained, Bmdder Her pini keat, [j^ I let the foundry-man see dat I Kme Independence." •^ n_H»rtin. You let hun see yer ttde Poo'maater'B office, yer chlU'en ;ofden»ybar8,an a dozen credi- daiin-youupwidbms. lyn't a laborin' man orfcer hev fa r ^demanded Brother Jinking. I J had He orter hev five dollars a bat he can't get it. He puta hia nniusclenpto de highest bidder, bus' Stan' by de bid. Brudder let me make a tew remarks in De man wbo poanda his thumb ipite de hammer. De condishun of J fixes derate of wages. You may tat it will simply result in batterin toes. De nex' best thing to what TOt Is what you kin git. Bekase I .Mt» dollar for white washin' aceilin' [lotgwlne to frow away de fifty cents i Bradder Jinklns, what am de price fur bbckb' stoves " loihillins, sab." y, bat Buppose yon get de ideah fuorter hev thirty cents what will leiMult?" ;on I won't git any blackln' to IJsio, sah. Now, den, if stoves at ibi cents am few an' fur between, lloiioin' at twenty cents, isn't it bet- Vicj to hold a steady job dan to have iitalir eckon, sah." |[oakm take yer seat, Brudder Jin- Anj principle am all right on a full Any theory am all right if yon 11 big woodpile at the doah. De t who declar's dat you orter hev iihillin's a day won't go hungry on ut of year strike. We like sugar in ^h, but we am idiots to frow away klaae we can't get d j sweetnin'" DEATH TAKES ANOIHEB. e Cadaver handed to the Secretary »of the death of Glucose Jacson, toomery, Ala and oflfdred a reso- ^uming him as a bright star whose 1 from the firmament would be felt Kistion. irewlushrin will be laid on de Mid the President as he placed it "De late lamented was probably Ifflan. He was doubtless fa'rly f a hoss-trade, an' he paid his T" the rate of 100 cents on de dol- "itlie doubtless had many little in- « as well, same as de rest of us. pWitarbjznessam.Ul bosh. We «fape on the door-knob of de FJoHi fur de space of ten days. An' ' try to remember all the good Ob Qe dead, but any thin! furder "«aypocritical." lEU TOC LATER. .fcTr- ' announced a communi- S^irW°^' Eagland, asking If ««Siln Club had ever openly fa- is' ""a^ion of Canada to the \C'L u°' °.° ""^^^ grounds? r "tt Kmember dat de subjick has .^mournudst," said the Presl- 7: " ^^^^ be a good thine ' to an^exde United States. I l»!ifwe^ """*^°°t^«»atâ-  K« the ;1 7 ,^«^tries should 'Wit ^^'"^i"^*^«'w let ^^UBOEPKOBLEM. kJT.°^ ^^9 Committee on b^^bvestWe'rf "^^ }^ 5*«UW' " " ^d discovered: u^^twSS/T"^*^«o"eson ' •»»d 111 «.r When aU the capi- â-¼ere used up '^OQld ;,'«Port â- "ggest some other *u Hot »»dapo'?°"'^Jr discussed In. " inveiifu ?® committee "'Port^^'te farther and Join l:«.,??^ HaUf. 3^ ftflVnd iiiid; -^"^l Dp and down ** I nekon Wa hasn't mk am ' tin«d the Pwddttt. "^Slw^t Moh doetrlsM doM^ irt^^^^^ " man. He d6aa'ha4|«r He doan hanker t5;|dn_ rolenu He doam' ilgh fii to hUw ^^ body H» along nundin- ^^^J^A^, 0i«a^ W^he »pr;t|toaiS vp 4« Intoreafc en de taortgage. W^he hami'tdetimetenmvin m^^S andhloed«1iirrt;yaoot£e^ "rf^fT "We will now turn de wporter. out doaha andgq^de amion de ISttk "â€" ' â- â-  â-  -^^^v â-  Tbe Turcoman at Horiie Any traveUer who has oroned the wild nplaod regkm lately oo«yia4 byfiMva on the border of Afghanistan, snd has seen the Turcoman camps and Afehan villages with whi-h it is studded, has but- veyed at one g^uce the past and present of Central Asia. Drawing bridle, on the crest ot one of those long, few swells that break at times the gray unending same- ness of the vast plains of Central Asia you see belew you a tiny stream, sharply outlined against the sorrounding deswt by the dark belt of undergrow^fiinging it. On the bank stand a dozen or more huge! pointed, dark grey objeots yery muche gigantic "dunce caps," around whloh a number of shieep and cattle are feeding. The fortress-like Afghan hamlet, wMits huge gray mud wall and narrow sinister loopholes, behind which the low, flat roofed earthen hovels huddle so dosely together as barely to leave passage room between themj represents the marauding shephsxd oi the east In his more advanoed stage of fixed residenoa In one spot, but still retaining enough of his guexrilla na- ture to regard every stranger as an enemy and to build every house Uke a fort.! The light Turtoman tent of felt and sapUngs, set up or pulled down in a few moments, typifies the same man in his oharaeter of a wandering herdsman, flying from his enemy or pouncing upon him with equal suddenness, swooping off with his booty into the desert like one of its own vul- tures, ever occupied with the duties of finding grass and water for the flocks and herds that formed his whole possession, and of anticipating any foe who wished to cut his throat by cuttixig the latter's throat first.' A shrill cry from a tall figure among them brings out of the tents half a score of gaunt, sinewy fellows in white tunics and high caps of sheepskin, handling menthcingly the spears and guns which they have snatched up. The Turcoman '♦Beg" or chlsf (for such he is) greets you with a gutteral "Kosh amedied" (you are welcome), more re- assuring than theshort curved sabre with- in reach of his hand, which shows by its notches that it has once done a thriving business. He kindly offerd you a seat on the newly flayed and still bloody sheep- skin and hands you an earthen j ar of milk and wooden spoon, licking the latter clean as. a speoal compliment. Should you arrive on a day of unwonted plenty, which results from a camel's death by age or disease, you may preface with the blue, stringy meat a bowl of 'brick tea," with salt for sugar and rancid fat for cream. But despite all his bandit qual- ities, the Turcoman at home is not a bad fellow by any means. A Dynamite Hog. There has been so much gloomy and depressing news of late that we feel an especial kindness towards those genial fellows who, scattered all Qver the World, devote their time to the jpreparation of marvellous or amusing inventions where- with to fill the ears of correspondents for the press. Looking at the matter in thla light, a cordial tribute of thanks is due to the sprightly citizen of Laurinburg, Gki., who has caused it to be announced that a local h^, presumably one with four legs, recently ate heartily of dynamite, entered a lot where a drove of mules was pastured, got himself kicked, and at once exploded, killing twenty of the mules. A neater thing in the way of promiscuous slaughter was never conceived sinds the world began; uid though, of course, the story is merely a genial lie, still the mind is as much deUghted with the thought of that pasture immediately after the imag- inary explosion as if it had actually oc- curred. Then there is the merry Nubian who has just tickled the whole world un- der the fitth rib with his story of how the people threw mud at the MncUr of Dongo- la. as that rebplendent functionary was departing with his staff far Cairo. Natur- ally suflh a ridiculous performance as throwing mud at a Mudir could never have occurred except in the imagination of somebody who was crazy to see how the story would look in print. Who he was, or is, or is to be, we know not but he is a fellow of infinite jest) and we said him greeting across the cataracts. Crpod AdTice. A man was being tried for stealing a ham. As he had no counsel to defend him, the Chief Justice called upon one of the barristers present to undertake his defence, and gave him permission to re- tire with the prisoner for consultation into an adjoining room. In about three-quart- ers of an hour the lawyer came back Into court without his di( nt ** Where is the prisoner?" isqulrec tiio judge. With the greatest composure the barrister re- plied »* He is off. Tour lordship de- sired me to give him the beat advloe -Tin- der the cironmatanoes, and, as he candid- ly owned tohis gnlk» 1 doijld flw M" » bettor advice than to betake, Jmshwu**^ with aU possible speeds 3rti*Jh |» «â-  «V to gload to do. 1' 4ent|y iroflt' J«»»«kt i» a°8taiid^' hf the naspUni^ a BdginnI gentlmaaa Farenza, "^^^'ly, e^aped with theicUves, »ving »pased the channel much against !*«Ft???*.«»** quite *^^ Dnmr lagiahtiaii '5^- defined bythe ocmmon mds-. In the **key8" south of Payton, Fla.« sywawrtg#e eafled wiawhiwwels, which are said te be poistmoos to any one atand* ^tenetfh turn «fc.a th^ i^ A ohsmioal analysis of Alpine air shows t^^^^^^S!s^r^m mmmi^Ti"' " -^ i^^^-s pfi-«P3-* i^E^r^s reaioLedot from 6,MflM6j9;;«(K^feetabdv«the level of the Mr^TttdSBi by'no itneiiislh aooord with pro- aSI^.^* '"â-  "â- â€¢*^« • '" nulesirom Antwerft th e a a Wiiiwrim i i sible, to decend somewhere near Bras â- els. All went vreU for fome time, until, upon Mr. I)ubois throwing o^t bal- last, they ascended higher, sod. oeminir m contact with a ^5b current ofi^S were carried in a contrary dir4(ition t6 what they anticipated. After a tbne they found themselres pateiag over Ob«en,d bat no alarm was fdt, and mora ballast was thrown out. As dusk came on, how ever, they were startled to find them â- elves being carried in the direction of the sea, and the aeronauts endeavored to de- oecd, and in making the.attemi^ they »me in oontaot with a ouaent» which to their satisfaction, carried them somewhat inland. IJeir gntificaiioii was hirie^, however, as they very soctn found themselves ear- ned rapidly out to Sea. Ulighthadeeme on, and the aeronaota were naturally inao alarmed, and endeavored to at^aot the attention of some vessels th#y saw beneath them. Pailj^ in iUs, howaver, M. Dubois deemed it prudent (o throw out more ballast and secure salely by as high an ascent as was deemed Mvlsable under the drcumstanoes. All tfra visions they were provided with some sandwiches, b sooits, two flasks of brandy, and some water* These they utilized to the best advantage, and when morning dawned they found .themselves far away at sea. M. Dubois was Inclined to let out the gas and decend, trasting to the balloon to float and the chances of being picked up by a passing vessel. His companion dissuaded him. from doing this, however and for the greater part of one day they were over the sea. As dusk set in they were delighted to find themselves being carried toward the land, but hesitated to decend in the darkness of night. In the morning they found themselves pasting rapidly over a town which they believed to be Folkestone, and decended, as has been stated, near Bromley. The two aeronauts, who were very much fatigued, were heartly congratulated on their nar- row escape. How General Sberman Took a Powder. When General Sherman's army was at Galdsboro, N. C, G^eneral Sherman made a visit to the headquarters of General Howard. While there General Sherman felt the need of a small draught of whiskey to drive off the malarial effects of the climate on his system. Now all the officers of the Army know of General Howard's rigid temperance proclivities, and were stoict in their respect for thenu Generid Sherman knew there was no whiskey in General Howard's quarters, and therefore did not mention his wants to General Howard. Presently Dr. John Moore, the medical director came in, and after a little conversation with General Sherman gave him the wink and sald,"Docbor,have yon a seidlitz powder in your quarters I ' The Doctor answered that he h«d. G^en- eral Howard spoke up and said "General Shermaii it is not necessary to go to the doctor's quarters, I have plenty of seidlitz potrders here, and good ones too; I will get yon one." If there was anything in General Howard's quarters that General Sherman did not want it was a seidlits powder, and therefore he said to General Howard "Never mind. General I Give yourself no trouble." (Howard was then getting the powder and glasses of water ready ). "I will be going by Moore's quarters after awhile." **Dr. MocHNi was a great wagand quickly took itf the situation and became a parisy to the joke on General Sherman. He said to General Shennan, "By the way, Gen- eral, I don't thnk I have a seidliiz pow- der in my quarters, and yon had better teke the one General Howard has." By this time General Howard had the powder allready foruseaud handed the slasies- to General Sherman. Bather than c ffand HoFard* by saying he meant whiskey he drank the foaodng stuff doWn much to his own disgust, to the satiafaotlon of General Howard, and to the amusement of the staff officers. Hn. Clarfield WIU Not Marry Axain. Mrs. Gkrfield has written a letter to her brothM-in-law, Mr. C. O. BookwaU, concerning the rumors that have been go. ing about, lately of her intention to marry again. She says This (»uel rumor, which seems to hare been afloat for two or three months, did not reach me till three days ago. Nothing that has ever been said abpno ms has so hurt and offended me aa this, and thedeep- est humiliation of it a that so many are ready to beUeve it. • ♦ To «ie it seems just as mneh an iasnlt to be'aaked whether it be true aa it wool't be war* the dear general still here. Thatany ptseoaa think The capable of being fttafs to his aemoiy aeemsmebeing ti^Mrded ^rit^- aL A digniied danial bgr^i^lUeliai^ I Unppose, can do no harm. Still iti me to feel that any d«ual is needed. irte4 t»# 'be rHe- the folii^e enable any small print, saver Lake, W. T., died of trichinosis, and her daughter, "'W^ritioally iU of the same the 4n(t case of the kind Ore|oft o^^ashiigton i is svpiKMild th^ diuase ly ni« vada. At certdn seasons gives out sufficient light to one near at hand to read wM4 pan t|Biiio«i «9aeral effect! may be piSdfred abLVmilSaaia^ Thei^no- menon is attributed to parasites. A Ohi^|iwai|it £;iai«fleMl^ Ind., de- sired to IMiVer litr tmveBing bag and over- coat while he walked to a place twenty He put tham invvfi^ ihm' thievei^ tun«pt hf'VLe sign, "8mall-pox, beware 1" and when he rtturnejicttiey Uterttf «till in the fiel(L"%nt •Mik^'SbtAaaki.gc66M; ttortid %y health officers. A unitedV|if|^|Qadi|r«l by a united Germany, made sad havoc in the pros- pects of budding diplomatists. The first iife|^ i^l^y ^^pn4 Florenee,;and oi^er snng'pidstis' 'the second Dresde^, Frank- fort, .|qi^|^, Vdto. TIm y^ong Third Secretary who enters the English service tQTdaj^'.atv^ia lacky if at BOhe is so much as' Iccitedfted" tb k South American re- public. The ex-director of tl^e conscription un- fb^ the first eo^^ire computed the actual loss of men bom within the old limits of France, and destroyed in the imperial wars from 1804 to 1816, at 1,700,000. Tills estimate does not Include the wars of the republic, or the loss of men not b»n in the kingdom of France, and goes far to explain how population n France has kept low. The Right Hon. Sir Edward Malet is the envy of British diplomatists. In these days of slow diplomatic promotion, to be Ambassador to Berlin â€" without doubt now the moat important of British lega- tionsâ€"at 47, and to marry the daughter of almost the wealthiest Duke, is an ex- traordinary success for the younger son of a second-class diplomatist withe at powerful political connections. Alabama, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, Oregon, Kansas, Michigan, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Maine have within a year passsd laws providing for instraction in physiol- ogy in the public schools, with special reference to tihe effect of alcoholic liquors on bodily health; and there is prospect of similar legislation in West yirginia,Penn- sylvania, Illinois and some other Stetes. Local option laws have been adopted by three States. Kansas has strengthened her prohibitory law, and Iowa has held through her courts that her prohibitory law is constitutionaL Oregon has adopt- ed a bUl submitting a constitutional pro- hibition to the people. Dover, formerly Melbourne, House, London, which it is. proposed to appro- priate as the offioiu residence of the Prime Minister, is eminently suited for the purpose. It was built abont 1770 for Sir Matthew Featherstonhaugh, and sold at his death to the 'first Lord Mel- bourne, who died there in 1828. Lord Melbourne waa father of the Prime Min* later Melbourne and Lady Palmerston, and during his time it was a head centre of sodal high life. Byron, who had a viry great r^^ard for Lady Melbourne, was a frequent guest here. Pitt, Lord Grey, Lord Beaoonsfield, and Mr. Glad- stone are the only Prime Ministers who have in this century made a home of the official residence in Downing street, which is quite unworthy of oooupanta of suohposiuon. Mr. Gladstone presnm- lAiif quitted his beautiful house on Oarl- ton House twraoe, in view of having so large a family to provide for. Wearing the •bi Bow In Japaut If a Japanese should take an American wife to Japan she would be treated just as the native wife. She would be idscsd in a harem Mid bound by the rnlea ci the country. Bhe would alao be compelled to adopt the native dress and wear the obi bow behind. The obi is a wide sash wUoh all Japanese women wear around their waista. If tiiey are ouirried the obi la tied In a large bow behind. If un- married the bow is adjusted in front. The Japanese dude never makaa any mia- takea aa to whether a wcmien ia married or single, beoanse the law oompels them to always wear theobl. It a single wo- man breaks the law by tying the lAA be- hind, she issnbjeotod to severe pnnish- Wifeâ€" "Don't yon think, dear, that you are dritikiiig cathsiraMwaihaa we ean afford 1" Hosbandâ€" "Let me sea. The first year of our aaaaiad life i didn't drink a d^p second year I may posriUy have diaidt four timoi^ an^ last year thtpf. drfidiaaday'^r^da^o#iirttra«fMly. fia^ i^oMtiibaaa tfi^M«^Atf^1ila;iilMee yalii' iof Imkaia ^A^M ikfi ^iiMatdi^m dtk^i a day, my dear, ia verf Uttle." A hddn'a eakis is oftea as ttaavy as tho ga'5ii«ii!^^^^ to _Th« widoif of a Hindoo -k| j^wuC tha otfyudividvid i^tose earieerTttil^ "enda Giaea Greenwood says that " literary women live bapplmr lives than fashionable women." It may be. Mosib Uterarj i^omen are married to editors. "Yes," observed the widow, "it waa raider a disgraoe to have hiih hanged, but yon don't know what a relief it la for me to know where he is at night time." A Cincinnati giil drowned herself just before she was g6ing to be married. No lesaon waa given for the deed other than that she was engaged to a Cincinnati Doctors say that roller skating will kill off mr girls. This seems too bad but perhaps it will solve the problem of the preponderance of the female sex in Mas- sachusetts. A Kansas editor, who started a little paper five years ago, is now a millionaire. Nothing is impossible where Industry and economy are combined with gocd luck. He married a rich wife. Probably the hardest "assignment" a reporter ever got was the one given to a western newspaper man, who was told to go to the theater and write up three- quarters of a column about Mile. Aimee's stage costume. When Bacon remarked to " Queen Bess" that she didn't know her own mind; what made the utterance particu- larly nutritions Because it would have been rash enough in any one, bnt it waa a little rasherof -fiaflOK " Bob â€" ♦* Are you g6ingi to be my new papa?" Accepted Suitorâ€" "Yes, my dear child." ** Have you got yoTS wi|t yet i" " Wig Why, no I don't need a wig. Why do you ask t" " My other papa, always said he was so thankful hia hair wasn't fast to him." "I am sorry, darling, that you are dis- pleased with me, but then you know I can not help it. I am an emotionalist." " Well, then, I certainly can not marry you, George." "Why not V "Well, you know perfectly well that my parente would never consent to my marrying anyone but a Methodist," ani then she cried. '-Pa," asked a Fourth ward hopeful, "Is Harrison such a bad man " Father, who is a strong Republican â€" "Yes, my son he is responsible for all the evil now so rampant in Chicago." And then the boy went off and told his sister that she must go to no more revival services, because the preacher was, probably, the wickedest man in the world outside of Jeff Davis. " John," said a clergyman to hia plow- man, ' wouldn't it be a good plan for you to have a scythe here, and be cutting a few bushes along the fences while the horses are restkig for a short time " "Yes, sir," said John; "and wadir't it be weel for you to teke a tub o' tetles in the poolpit, and when the folk were singin' peel them awhile to be ready for the patr The Merchant Fleets of the World. Roughly speaking, one- half of the world's tonnage engaged in carrying the world's commerce on the bigh seas sails under the flag of Great Britem. The sea-going merchant fleets of all nationalities aggregate about 56 000 ves- sels, and abouo 23.000,000 tons. The tremendous preponderance of England in the carrying trade of the world and the order in which competing nations follow her long lead are shown in this table of approximate figures :. Vaiaa. Great Brltabi .....'82.'ion United States.. .....i.... M Oa ^v ft^ â- â€¢â€¢â- â€¢â€¢â€¢-â-  â- â€¢â€¢â€¢ â- Â«*•â-  vrOallMKDy • ••»â- â€¢â€¢â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â- â€¢â€¢â€¢Â« ifruioo- ••••â- â€¢â€¢â€¢.• â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â- â€¢â€¢ Aua'y ' *** -â- â€¢â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â- I Uusaia 6600 4.X0 3.C00 290O 3.90O S.309 Tcna^ 1*.200(IOO 9,700 000 i.aoo,oo 1.40O.0O 1.100.600 l.O0O,C0O 600,000 • • •••••• â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â-  â- â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢â€¢ I •••••••••• 7,764 9.!3S.iOO •,619 (,9 9.030 ias f 67 000 4S8 601.000 ^9 476,oro 882 av'.ooo 1S9 66 0CO 1S7 i».o:a 191 149.000 England's tonnage on the ocean high ways is between four and five times that of the United States. It is seven times that of Norway, eight times that of Grer- many, ten times that of France, eleven timtts that of Italy, and eighteen timea thtn of Rnssia. • f the comparison is confined to steam- ehipA^ which now carry so lai^e and so important a part of the commerce of the world, the supremacy of Great Britain is exhibited in a still more striking way 5t:ain Veatelt Tons. ail nations.... Oreat Britain France United 8taee.. €tomiaB7 Bpai n.». .-.....«...â-  • Italy... â-  HaUaad.......... Buisla England's steam tonnage is almost ten tiauaas great as that of Iwr nearest rival, France. It ta ten times greater than the United States, and forty times Russia's. The British flag covers nearly two-thirda of all the ooean steamers afl}st. Neariy three-quarters of England'a carrying trade on the ocean ia done in English ships. Sha has trebled the tonnsge of her merchant fleet since 1860. "Papa, do notd.4nk to-night." The worda eame in soft, pleading, tear-soaked tones fnHn the swciet, golden-haired inno- cent that srasped his hand beseedilngly. A tear welled in the father's aye. "Wh^ not, myehildt' he asked.- "Beotuse Al- fonso wfll be here to-night^ asid if yon come home Wnd, blaan|^ ;staggciJ^hi(^ drunk, and a m as hing eyaq^ttoigj yoju'rfa gobg to scaie hiip^oC ,i^i^ jpjyD^eca! sons are not plentiral i!mwoiii:6iu 'toaffu the why." 1 V .T I .; !»; 'i 1 1 • i'li \t?i,f: 4:' !3;: m. a i â- !; if J I m