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â- Wg^ " |||ii it , ' tttmtfytrr ''^^^^'â- ^••iiMiliu^VM % He Makes Money By Wrecking Musk By PETER RONALD If you should happen to mention •ome evening that you're going to a performance by a musician named Lindley Armstrong Jones, very probably your listeners would itare at you in blank amazement, saying they'd never heard of the gentte- â- lan. But just say tliat it's "Spike" Jones who's in town, chances are they'll want to come along with you â€" and find it utterly impossible to lecurc tickets. • • » Born at Long Beach, California, In 1911, Spike felt his initial urge along the musical path when, as a boy, he received a pair of drums as a Christmas gift â€" which might, or might not, he a vvaniinp to fond parents. In no time at all he was drum major in his High School Band; and shortly thereafter form- ed his own six-piece unit which •ought engagements under the name of "Spike Jones and his hive Tacks.' Later on he played drums with various professional bands, and had a semi-permanent engagement as house drummer tor a record-mak- ing concern. Here, after regular sessions of cutting records were over, he and a few of the other musicians used to get together and play as fancy dictated, introducing sundry weird and novel effects. • « * Records of some of these num- bers were made, just for the play= crs' own amusement, and the first of these to be offered to the pub- lic was a version of Ked Wing. This was followed by items such as Behind Those Swinging Doors, Pass the Biscuits Mirandy and others â€" none of which attracted much attention or piled up any profits, although they are all now "collectors items." The first real hit came more or less by chance. A number was wanted to tio on the other side of a disc of 1 Wanna Go Back to West \'irginia, so Spike and his bunch were hastily assigned to do Der f-"uehrer's Face. They made not just one, but two, the second containing the now-famous ''Bronx cheer" effect. Somewhat to Jones' surprise this second version was the one select- ed by the record company â€" and that's how the whole thing start- ed. The public went wild over the "razzbcrry'' effect following each "Hcil" and bought over a million copies of Der buelircr's Face. Jones and his outfit were imme- diately offered juicy motion pic- ture radio and recording contracts with the result that soon Jones was â€" as one writer put it â€" work- ing 2i hours a' day, making all the money in the world, and find- ing no time 'to spend any of it. • * « Last year, thinking he could sense a souring of public taste to- ward straight "name" bands, he lofrned what he calls his "Musical Depreciation Revue." This is a travelling show that carries some forty people, only a dozen or go of whom are in any sense musi- cians. The show travels in two Pullman cars, and i 'eluded in the outfit arc, among other things, a couple of small pigs, a midget, a giant, a lady harpist who plays but one niiiiiber and smokes a cigar while doing so, â- â€¢ck curtains in- cluding one which shows Beetho- ven sticking out his tongue at a criticism of what they are doing to his melodies and, last but by no means least, a collcclioii of over 200 noiscmaki / gadgets of every description. Jiisi as an example of the strenu- ous life Jones leads, during just one week in Los Angeles his I^c- vue played eight shows at the PhilhariiiDiiic â€" and Spike also made a short moving picture, did his regular weekly broadcast, and found time to cut a few records on the side. It is said that his Income runs as high as flfi.'i.OOO gross per wcik â€" but it is also generally and freely admitted that he works hard for the money. 'I'hc whole show is built around the formula of taking a well known piece, such as Liebestrauni or The Old Black Magic â€" then pro- ceeding to wreck it by tossing in everytluMK from old tin cans to police sirens. Anything can happen during a Spike Jones number, and OBually does â€" like the one in which Spike .suddenly fires a revol- ver shot into the air, and a flock of dead ducks (alls to the stage, follow<'d by a live specimen desciiidiiig by means of a para chute. It all sounds cra/y, you say. Well it probably is. But anyway Spike J<Ull's 'l^s already made over a milliiin dollars out ot it, with cwiy proM)ect imUsjj tlj^' pijjjic sljoujij •udnenly fire of the wnole thing â€" of making a heap more. He owns a big limousine, which he never r •T '"-,-T. -•• â€" has a chance to drive â€" a costly house with swimming pool and all the accessories, which he' never can find tunc to visit â€" and al though he thinks more of his eiKhl-year<dd daughter than of anything else in I'e world, he only gee' Ik r about once every six ' months. ...THE GREEN THUMB By Gordon L, Smith Operation "Mosquito" Is On at Camp Bordenâ€" Commander of this modified Wasp flame-throw- er, Sprt. D. J. Nead, fires a burst of insecticide into one of the mosquito breeding grounds on low-lving frinf^res of Camp Borden. It's part of a spring offensive to curb the winged terrors with 'a iiii.xtiirc of DDT, kerosene and waste oiL This prevents adult mosquitos emerging from their breeding grounds. PT^ee^Untct^i^gtailtfmg /SHoiiirSP^ That Smelly Old Pipe By FRANCES DAVIDS Wi'.h the air of a deeply wound- ed man, Henry Little put on his coat and hat and stalked out of the house, slamniing the door. He could take slurs on liis person, hut there was one thing on whijch he drew the line. He couUln't take in- sults to that faithful old compan- ion, that sympathetic friend, that trusted comforter and unfailing checrer-upper, his pipe. Up to now Sarah's hints hadn't bothered him, but this morning she had ceased to hint. "How long," she had demanded tartly, "am I go- ing to have to stand it?" Henry's small, buttony brown eyes behind the pale plastic-riiiiiiRd spectacles noted the headlines with interest. "Ilandit Holds I'p An- other Local Store." Well, well. Sarah snilTcd disapprovingly. The police still hadn't caught the fellow, and this was the third hold- up he had pulled. "... and when I saw that hole in the rug, I wanted to scream." "What?" he asl<c<l K"'hily, con- scious that he had heard only part of Sarah's remarks. "I sai<l," she repeated exaspcr- atedly, "I found a hole in the rug and ashes all over the sofa last night. Now, what are you going to do about if?" Rain To Order In 25 Minutes Results from Australian experi- ments in "rainmaking" are generally regarded to be more significant than those achieved elsewhere in the world, according to chief of the radio physics division of the Aus- tralian Council for Scirntilic and Industrial Research, Dr. E. G. Brown. Dr. Brown said that he was cau- tiously hopeful that rain-making would be successfully developed by artificial stimulation of clouds. Ex- Dtrillicnts had been majde with eight aifferenT fyjies of clouds. 'The most successful experiment occured al- most 12 qiontht ag<) wlijn .100 poiinds of dry ire, dropped from an aircraft into a cloud, produced a rain pillar rovering 20 square miles in 45 niimitcs-. Latest experiments will involve the use of liijuid substitute for dr\ ice. The plane, to be specially fitted, will carry several hundred nations of the substitute which will be sprayed on aalccled clouds. ".Me? Why, erâ€" nothing, I guess," he said lamely. "You certainly are," she cried an- grily. She wagged a threatening finger. "I'm sick and tired of find- in ashes all over the place. Now you get rid of that smelly old pipe, Henry Little, or I'll get rid of it for you!" Reaching the store he unlocked the door and went in, put on his sweater and lit up his pipe. The bri(,'litly-labellcd cans on the shelves, tlie fresh fruits and vegetables, t.^"> dairy products, the household items, all stood in their appointed pl.iccs, like old friends. Today he would have to go through the stock an<l reprivc some of the canned goods. The door opened and a stocky young man came in, dressed in a (lark coat with the collar up alunit his ears and a slouch hat down over iiis eyes. Dressed rather warmly for such a day, Henry thought. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" he asked pleasantly. "Quiet in here today, isn't it?" the man said. "\'ery," Henry agreed. " riuii put u|) your hands, bud, ami open u|i that cash register," the man snarled, levelling a gun at Henry. Henry almost fainted with sur- prise and shock. His knees rattled against each other, and he was pow- erless to move. "Come on, hurry up," the man said brustiucly. The roiif of Henry's mouth was so dry and parched he thought he would choke. What should he do? He couldn't fight with the man, who was younger and stronger â€" and be- sides, there was that ominous gun pointed at him. With this terrible predicament facing him, he soineliow noted that on the shelf a little beyond the bandit a can of pineapple juice was balanced precariously on another can and almost looked like it was going to fall. Henry watched it hoiafiilly, and a wild, crazy idea formed in his mind. Crash! The can fell to the floor, startling the thief so that he made an instinctive half-turn,- and as he did so, Henry pulled out the pipe from his pocket and stuck it in the man's back. "Now put your hands up," he said hoarsely, and with as iiiiicli menace as he could muster. 'Lhe gun fell to the ground with a tliiul and Henry dragged it over 0vith his foot and picked it up. "Co out the door and into the store ne.Nt door," he ordered, his haiiil trembling. In the barber shop ne.\l door he told the as- toiiudi'd barber to call tlie police It was on the front page of the Evening Clarion: "LOCAL MKKCHANT FOILS BANDIT. USl'lS PIl'K AS GUN." All evening long people kept call- ing and telephoning to congratulate Henry, and late that night he sank gratetully onto the sofa and took out his pipe. Sarah, who had just come in, sniffed disapprovingly. "Henry, I â€" " She stopped short. "Let me light it for you, dear," she said sweetly. JITTER Output of Steel In Britain Soars In the first quarter of this year the British steel industry' has beaten tlie all-time output record set up in the Dunkirk period of the Battle of Britain in 1940. From January to March, produc- tion ran at an annual rate of 14,933,- 000 tons. During March it was stepped up to 15,117,00 tons. The news also has just come from the works of the steel company of \\'ales at Margam that the British and European pig iron production record was broken during the week of April 12-18. More than 5,400 tons of pig iron were produced from a single blast furnaceâ€" 380 tons more than ever has previously been produc- ed by any one blast furnace in Europe. No Rush A few days of v. arm lunshine •ecm to put a lot of people into a fever to get all their garden planted. This is a mistake. Seed and plants are rushed in too hurriedly and there is liable to be neglect later on. In practically every section of the country both vcgetabl es and flowers can be planted successfully at regular in- tervals right up to the end of June. It is far belter to have things coming, on periodically with a con- tinuous supply of fresh vegetables and fresh flowers than to rush the whole garden in on a single after- noon. Go at the job gradually, ad- vise those you know, get the soil properly prepared, and enjoy a suc- cession of bloom and fresh vege- tables. Beets, carrots, beans, spinach, let- tuce, radish, etc., can be planted every other week or so right up to late June. Flowers too, can be spread over several weeks. Bedding plants like petunias, zinnias, stocks, spider plants, tomatoes, cabbage, etc., should not be set out until all danger of frost is over. Tender things like gladioli, cannas, melons, squash, corn, etc., al^^o come in this category. Double Check Witli certain things like potatoes, gladioli and otiier plants subject to soil carried disease, treatment just previous to planting is advisable. This kills spores of diseases, en- Diplomacy Little Herman often visited his Uncle's store, where he had easy access to sweets, and, at times, innocently yielded to the tempta- tion to help himself. Mother be- came aware of this, and remonstrat- ed: "Now, you mustn't ask for any- thing, nor take anything, but wait till Uncle gives you something." The next time Herman obeyed and waited a little and then said: "Uncle, I don't ask for anything, and I don't take anything, I just wait till you give me some." It worked. « courages quick growth and guarda against rot and other diseases that inay have wintered over in the toil. For Autumn Salad For autumn use, no salad green • surpasses Pe-tsai, or Chinese cab- bage as it is inaccurately called. It should not b- sown until June or July, and then in the row. It is difficult to transplant. A lath <jr cheesecloth frame to shade it from intense i may be advisable when the plants are still small. Winter has a special salad, Wit- loof chicory. A reii! delicacy, it ia well worth the space it occupies in the garden all season and in th: house later. It is sown early, when the soil has been smoothly worked as if for carrots. After ti.e seedlings have been thinned to stand about nine ii ches apart, they will require little attention until the season's end. They do need weeding though, until plants are big enough to shade these competitors. In the fall the roots are dug up with a spading fork, trimmed of rootlets and cut back at '.i'.t top to within an inc' of the crown. Stored in the garden shed, a few at a time are taken into the cellar, replanted in soil and covered with light-e.xcluding bo.xes or pots un- til they send up the compact little heads. MINARD'S LINIMENT 16-46 â-º Apply freely, and rub. That's all. It's Kreaselesa, fast-drying: has no ttroag odor. And it brings quick relief to muscle and joint soreness, stiffness, ache. LARGE ECONOMICAL $IZ£ 6SC w7MS£mcg'o/'mp[sw THE GROCER A simie, a fiiendly {fiet-tm};; li leinl-liip, i.ei\ue, confiilonceâ€" from the eaiK hour^ of the day until the dimness of eveninj; these (jualities distinguish The Grocer to the people he serves. So ingrained, so modestly rcpuiled are these attributes that only on the rarest of occasions are they brought to ouraltention. Men like this, some of Canada's finest, are in the public's serviee-at your service. DAWES BLACK HORSE BREWERY Ont of a series of adv),rtisements in tribute to those Canadians in the serz'ice of the public A. w >- /^ A- A 4. 4. «> y _ i t