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T.« JUST IN FUN ^ Easy One He wa« enlarging on the dangers iA modern foods and with a dra- ' â- latic gesture he pointed an em- phatic finger ^t a rather harassed- looking and inoffensive listener and demanded : "What is it? We all eat it some- time or other, yet it's the worst thiag in the world for us. What Is it, I say? Do you know?" It appeared that the little man did know, for he repliedv in a hbsky whisper: "Wedding cake." r : 1 \ r r By Inttalmenta Ahhough he bad his good points, Tommy was no scholar. When the â- chool exams came along, his fa- ther said: "If you score fifty marks out of a hundred, my boy, I'll buy yon a hicyde." Then, one day. Tommy brought home «1>*^ '-"-tis and handed them ' eVer in silence. Father ran bis eye down the list. Then he asked •adiy: "Well, Tommy, what will you have â€" two spokes or a brake <Bp?" Two In One The weary father was marching â- p and down at 1 a.m. with a wail- ing infant in his arms, when there came a knock at the door. It was the tenant from below, carrying a pair of new shoes. "I say, old man," he aid, "while you're about it,' you might break these in for me." Keep Cool The sergeant raged as his squad of recruits turned left when they sbonld have turned right and vice versa. Private Higgins was the greatest offender, and the sergeant, going up to him, bawled in his car: "Haven't you ever drilled before In your life?" "Yes, sergeant," replied Higgina. *I once drilled for three years." "Oh, indeed . . . and where" â- napped the sergeant. "In a quarry," grinned Higgina It Would Too A dear old lady had been pre- vailed upon by a young relative to attend his school's sports. She was aroch interested in the tug-of-war, and after a long tussle between two teams she turned to her escort and said: "But wouldn't it save a lot of trouble, dear, if they were to cut the rope in the middle?" Fifty-Fifty Young Bill: Look at your old worn boots and your father a shoemaker. You ought to be asbimed of them. iTouug Phil: That's nothing. Your baby brother's got only one tooth and your father's a dentist. Not On Water Proprietor: "You come into my restaurant, you order a glass of water, you drink it, and you calmly walk out I" Scot: "What were ye expectin' me to do, men? Stagger cot?" OUT OUR WAY By J. R. Williams Too Bad Three men arrived at the rail- way station wit the intention of catching the last train. \s t1 ey reached the platform the train be- gan to move out. The men ran for it, and' the guard and a porter bun died two of them into the guard's van. By this time the train was going too fast for the third man to get in, and he stood disconsolately on the platform watching it disap- pear. "Hard luck, sir," said the porter. "I'm sorry you were unable to get ©n- "Yes," replied the man. "My friends will be sorry, too. They were only seeing me off." An Insult Mrs. Dinsmore: "I wonder why Mrs. Scadds got so angry when 1 said 1 never would let my husband dictate to me?" Mrs. Cradwick: "She took it for a personal allusion. She used to be Mr. Scadd's typist." And They Did Hoping to inspire his workers with promptness and energy, a business man hung a number of signs reading "DO IT NOW" around his factory and office. When he was asked some weeks later how his staff had reacted, he shook his head sadly. "I don't even like to talk about it," he said. "The cashier skipped with $1,000; the head bookkeeper eloped with the best secretary 1 ever had; three typists asked for an increase; the factory handf decid- ed to go on strike, and the office boy joined the Navy." The Answer Is Yes Two men who had been l>.Kl)clor cronies met for the first time in ten years. "Tell me. Tom," said one. "did you marry that Rirl, or do ymi still darn your own sorks and do your •wn cookiiiR?" "Yes," xv.is ^onl'^ liiconic reply. ' HERE'S ^Hâ-  COMPLETE BLUE PRIKJT OF ALL. TH' RECO\\_ MECHAKilSM- WOW RIGHT HEPE IS~ ' LESSEE-v THAT pooe ouy.' I KIEV'ER SEEKl A MAM GIT OUT OF A COAT SO QUICK/ eOTCADGKT »0 THAT MACHIKJE-- HE MIGHTA BEEN KILLED â€" HE MA/ BE MAIMEP FHi UFE â€" LET Ok) 1DU DIDM'T SEE IT, VOU FATHEAD.' DON'T MAKE AM EMEMV-NO- BODV ELSE SANW IT' NEVEP LET A MAM K\CVJ VOU SANW HIS STTUPlDrr^- LET HIM GIT BACK IMTO HIS COW AKJ' LOOK LIKE NOTHIKJ' HAPPENED I AN' HELL LCVE EV- EeyBOC^-EVEM -fOU.' /\ WHEfc. NOT TD tXXM ^SSMg • ii«K«>M.«r JrRWluJ»*|» Orchestra Leader HORIZONTAL 3 1 Pictured orchestra leader, â€"' 4 " 5 11 Help e 12 Ripped 7 13 Pedal digit 14 Fastener -8 15 Behold! 18 Male « 18 Singing voice 10 30 Canvas shelter 14 21 Period of office 22 Upward 34ItiJian river 25 Rodents 27 Fable 90 Measure of area SI On account (ab.) 32 Supplicate 35 Small particle 37 Musical note 38 Hun 39 First man 42 Not fast 45 Too 4?Vase 50 Iridium (symbol) 51 Electrified particle 52 Dined 54 Units of measure 56 For 57 His orchestra is made up VCRTICAL 1 Bucket 2 Suggestion Hypothetical atructural unit Street (ab.) Post Metal Tellurium (symbol) Lieutenant (ab.) Alaskan city 12 months Fathier New Mexico (ab.) Abisent Plaything Postscript (ab.) Afternoon (ab.) Awiwcr <• Pr^vloaa Pussle isj =!'â-  iiracEiH : -[aiMmiaKiM â-  i5!L=*(Pi« ..Gaia«!Hia]ia;.^ - iar=<TMsi â- : ;SlH*S,HKl(=<a - f^i^^HfJ -iiHi:;:[HSimEl'- ri3Hfsli-il-l: [^BOH GEORGE E- (ab.) 25 Knock 2« Arrival 28 Also 19 Cured hog thigh 33 Provide with weapons 34-»ju (Bib.) ?5 Exclamation 36 Beverage 39 Symbol for gold 40 Pull 41 Against 43 Place 44 Native metals 46 Italian money 47 ShorUy 48 Upon 53 Erbium (symbol) 84 Frequency modulation (ab.) 55 Palm lily 56 Jumbled type VOICE OF THE PRESS Saluting Saluting of ofxicers will be con- tinued in Canada's army. It is a part of the discipline which in turn means efficiency. That its aboli- tion sliould have been suggested is carrying democracy a little bit be- yond the limit. â€" Port Arthur Kews-Chronicle. High Cost of Destruction It's a queer old world, with strange modern ideas. A world in which millions and millions of dol- lars are being spent in learning whether atomic bombs have reached the point where they can destroy the world. â€" St. Thomas Times-Journal. In Fact, Strainer A native of India has a 64-inch moustache. It must be quite a strain â€" especially during the soup course. â€" Kitchener Record. They Dig It Up A tot of folk who say they haw buried the hatchet, always remem- ber where they put it. â€" London Free Press. Canadian Illiteracy You cannot call Canada a literate nation when her motorists cannot read "No Parking" or "School â€" (>o Slow" signs. â€" Quebec Chronicle-Telegraph. Outmoded Virtues A business executive says the greatest asset of the wor'King girl is personality. Competency, willing- ness and being on time in the morning are just old-fashioned vir- tues. â€" Saskatoon Star-Phoenix. Hot and Cold Furs It is 5aid that, as the result of thefts, there are a large number of hot furs. They can't be the ones women wear during the heat waves. Those must be cold furs. â€" Toronto Star. Most Often Wrong A dictionary is a book to which you refer after an argument over how to spell K word â€" only to find out you were wrong. â€" Guelph Mercury. Likely Well- Founded Then there are girls who suspect father must have kissed mother a day or two before they were mar- ried. â€" Brandon Sun. Hurtfnl Eztremism Extremism injures rather than helps even the best of causes. Jew- ish Zionists in a New York parade walked behind a Union Jack be- smirched by a super-imposed Naii Swastika. â€" St Catharines Standard. Nature Still Working Farmers in Ontario are reported to be in better hopes of a bumper crop than they have been for many years. At least mother nature hasn't gone on strike. â€" Hamilton Spectator. Spread It Around An economist says that only half- a-dozen men in the world under- stand money. Perhaps if the stuff were more general, understanding would be more widespread. â€" Peterborough Examiner. Latest Models And in the back of the dream house, it seems, is a mirage where the veteran can keep his car. â€" Winnipeg Tribune. UFE'S LIKE THAT By Fred Neher "DAYLITE" DUST A s{>edally developed and highly effectJTe fungicide for daytime dusi- ing on potatoes, pumpkins, cucum- Dcrs« tomatoes, melons, sugar beets and squash. Does not require dew to complete its reaction. Contains 7% metallic copper content with tri- pasic copper sulphate as the active ingredient. TrmJemmri Rrg'O. «"fiHE£N CROSS" FIELD LEADER PRODUCT "I think she's a gold digger . . . first word she said was 'daddy' V W Sweet and cooi in any Pips CANADA'S STANDARD PIPE TOBACCO THE SPORTING THING "I told you not to walk thru that fence!" MUTT AND JEFF â€" just another matter of -lend lease" By BUD FISHER POPâ€" A Vacancy By J. MILLAR WATT HAS VOUR HOME TOWN Srn" 'SOT A VILLA(SE ^^ IDIOT I DON'T KNOW I LEFT VEAKS AGO j i • IKriMaM kj n« B»ll Sl'DCloM. lac < 4 • ? hM 1 REG'LAR FELLERSâ€" Doubly Protected By GENE BYRNES • IT worked' 1 HCH' HEHV/ mT SHUT UP V^J ( AN' ICEfeP rU^ V YER. HtfiO ; W V OOWN'^ '' ' wra â€" * ••M ,«••. ..^.^ _i/VJti-.;"-i. â- *"?:-.- â- 3?***^'