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1 ^ Have You Heard? Editor -Did you ever thing before? Authoress â€" Oh, yes, I confession story once. Editorâ€" Did the editor back? Authoress â€" No, he came all the way from New York to St. Louis to meet me. wrote send it With a fan dancer its different â€" she would spell it FAN M-A-L-E. J. E. McCONNELL ^who ha» been nominated for » , £rector«bip of The Bank of Canada. Mr. McConnell is President of Mc- j Connell & Ferguson Limited, leading Canadian national advertiting â- fency; Vice-President of Gypsum, Lime & Alabastine (Canada) Limit- ed; Director, Brantford Roofing Company Limited; Northern Life Assurance Company; Canada Trust Company; Fireproof Warehouses Limited; Shipping Containers Limit- ed. Mr. McConnell is a well-known Canadian business man whose organ- ization has offices in Vancouver, Winnipeg, Toronto, Montreal, Lon- don, Ontario, and in London, Eng- land. His name has been closely Identified with the development of many leading Canadian concerns for over a period of thirty years. He was born at Walkerton, Ontario, July 6, 1878, and is of the fourth generation in a family of pioneer Canadians. .The advertising agency business, in â- ^which he is actively engaged, has •given Mr. McConnell a very broad insight into all phases of trade and I commerce affecting Canada and the \ Empire, and has, in addition, kept him in daily contact with the needs and desires of Canadians in all walks of life. It is anticipated that he will receive considerable support from the ! shareholders of The Bank of Canada in the election of Directors of that institution which is to take place in Ottawa in January. Pretty wife (on stand in divorce court) â€" It was the old, old story, a horse and a jackass can never agree. Husband (roaring, as he shook off the restraining hand of his attorney) â€" See here, don't you call me a horse! Correct this sentence: "I got beg- ging letters from ten people today," said the rich fellow, "'and sent them all checks." The final test of veracity, is the effort to tell how little you slept last night. CHEER UP! World is full of grieveing â€" skies get low and black â€" It's hard some- times believing you're on the win- ning track. But all the thunder's rumble, the gloom that haunts the day will fade away and crumble â€" for hope is on the way! Farmers Hailed By 11 Duce WE ALL MOVE UP j ner that could not be bettered *ny- The coming of new robots disturbs where, oven in Vienna, existing jobs, but only for a period. ! "But how astonished were w« In due course the greater efficiency 'â-  when the old lady, still very friend- A gala occasion was the annual distribution of prizes to Italian fami-rs growing most wheat during year. Premier Mussolini (above) extoUs triumphant toilers in Roman theatre. are for Masculine Champ â€" And how you making out in your race equality of sexes?' Militant Feminist â€" Oh, nowadays it is neck and neck. When television comes a crooner will at least have to be fairly good looking. Uses of A Train Bob Rennison told a story to the Y'smens Club the other evening which very happily illustrates the chances and unusual features which the sport of angling involves, one .of its most interesting features. And Bob vouches for the truth of the story, which is a guarantee of its accuracy. He told of an experience he had at a pool in Root River a short dis- tance this side of Hayden. He had been fishing for a long time without even getting a bite and was geting discouraged, when the A.C.R. train which then came in Mondays, Wed- nesdays and Fridays from the north in the evening, thundered along»the track. "And," said Bob, "before it got out of hearing 1 had caught seven fish!" Coming home he told a friend ; what had happene<l and the friend ,ytas all excited about it. He w-as so j keyed up indeed that he did not even wait for Wednesday, but went out on Tuesday. But there was no train and no fish were caught. The following day Bob and a com- panion started out to the same spot, i setting out early in the evening. ' They fished around for a time with- out any results. "There are no fish here," said the companion. "Oh yes. there are; all we need is a train," said Bob. "Well, we ought to get some soon then, for there comes the train," replied the other. "And," reports Mr. Rennison, "in ten minutes we had caught five." Several times during the season he tried the plan out and always with success, said Bob, "but then the A.C.R. changed its schedule." The explanation, as given by Mr. Ren- nison is simple. At that spot, as at many others, the trout feed just at that time in the evening and pay no attention to the lure of the angler. The immediate area, however, is a bit on the muskeg side and when the train goes by it is readily shaken, with the result that the fish are div- I erted from their feeding and take I the hook. So a train is useful to a fisherman as well as for killing wolves. â€" Sault Ste. Marie Star. Deacon â€" Brother Jones, can't yo' all donate something to de fund for fencing in the cullud cemetery? Brother Jones â€" I dunno as I can. I don't see no use in a fence around the cemetery. You see, dem what's in there can't get out, and dera what's out don't wanta get in. Machinery a Course No Single Problem of Mod- ern World More Keenly Debated Than The Grow'- ing Use of Machinery in Industry. Each NewMa- chine Displaces Human Labour, and Brings Near- er the Robot Worfd," says Critic. A college education doesn't do much "for the majority of men ex- cept -elieve them of the inferiority complex that seems to plague those who don't go to college. . Pearl â€" You really ought to come to Florida with me this winter. I had a wonderful time there last Jan- uary. I won a beauty competition. Beatriceâ€" No, I think I'd rather go where there's more of a crowd. If there is anything a woman dislikes, it's the sight of another woman makin«r a fool of a man. If you don't want to pay doctor bills it is a good thing to wear over- shoes in wet, sloppy weather. Too "At three p.m. today an explosion occurred in the X pit. A hundred robot miners at work there were de- stroyed. The machine-miders were working well beyond the zone of the explosion and the fire which immed- iately followed and were able to es- cape injury." You wil one day â€" much sooner than you imagine, perhaps â€" be read- i ing such reports as this in your I newspaper writes Patrick Thompson I and London answers. The collier I wil then have been relieved from j work which, in a really scientific j age, no human being should be called j upon to perform. i TESTED AT THE COAL FACE I He will have moved up, become a I semi-skilled engineer supervising a j robot slove, or a battery if slaves, i whi wil do his heavy work for him faster and more efficiently than he and half a dozen mates could do it; achieved, the lowering of costs, the shift-up jrocsses set in motion, com- bine to make more and better-paid 1 jibs. There is no !abour-£aving device which has permanently displaced la- bour; there is none which has not in- creased the number of jobs available. Robots actuated by an electric cur- rent now send and receive telegraph messages. Yet the number of oper- ators employed is higher to-day than before the robot appeared. Why? Because the robot has allowed the business to expand on a basis of cheaper and quicker processes. Where is the expert mechanic who was replaced by the faster, more ac- curate, and cheaper machine? He has evolved into the master crafts- man who makes tools and other things for the machine. Where is the master craftsman, so laboriously and highly trained, the labour aristocrat of the old world. He and his progeny have been trans- formed into the engineers and scien- tific research workers, the highly trained technicians of the machine and robot age. TOWARDS THE MACHINE MILLENNIUM Where is the plodding workman who used to fetch and carrj' for the craftsmen and skilled workers of the pre-robot epoch, earning thereby barely enough to keep body and soul together? He tends the robots, and so earns a far higher wage than was possible in the days of costly hand labour. Thanks to the robots, mankind is now setting foot upon the broad and shining way which leads to a five- hour day for labour with higher liv ly, presented us with a bill for five shillings. That was our only cash payment. "When we got back to Vienna, however, we found a letter from England, with a money order en- closed, waiting for us. The old lady wrote that she had just seen » a newspaper that we were not two rich, .= plendid tourists, but just two poor little girls from Vienna. She expressed her apologies for having asked money from us and and en- closed twice the amount that we paid. That was the best welcome that we had on our return to Vienna." The hiking girls are un<iaunted fay their experiences. "Next year we shall bo off again," declared Maly. "Europe has become too small for us, so we shall turn our steps in th« direction of â€" India." Stork Derby Lead Grows Mrs. Kenny Gives Birth to Eleventh Child Since 1926 â€" To Claim Fortune. ed intact the electrical apparatus it linked was undisturbed. But if any- thing passed and broke contact, a switch was thrown, and off went the alarm system. The myterious guardian, on inves- tigation proved to be a very simple robot; its basis the selenium cell, the ' scientists and engineers electrical activitv of which -s affect- i The gigantic toil of building and march of mankind towards the stars â€" have already been removed by many people depend upon their feet 1 j^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^^ j^^.^^.^ ^^ ^ to absorb the moisture, and that s | steam-shove! controls an obedient where the doctor comes in. I gj^^.^ ^£ herculean strength who rr 1 ... , J ^ digs, carries and dumps more earth Eager Playrtght-I ^vnsh I could , ^^^ ^^^^-^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^ hundred think up a big, strong situation that ^^j^^^. ^^^^ ^^^j^ ^^^^^^^ .^ ^^^ ^^^^^ I would fill the audience with tears. ! gp^jg ^j jjj^g ! Theater Manager â€" I'm looking ' for one that will audience. fill the tiers with Money may not bring happiness, but it makes those lucky enough to have it mighty comfortable. your ancestors ever Man â€" Have been traced? Friend â€" Yes, but they were smart thev couldn't catch them. so "America doesn't know anything •bout crop control yet." â€" R. G. Tug- LWell. College Students Have Great Scheme Rate the Girl Friend's Home- Making Ability by Series Of Questions Some people would dismiss this as a Wellsian dream. But in fact a ro- bot miner, which cuts the coal at the face and loads it, is testing now in the Wigan coalfield â€" has been test- ing for nearly a year. Experts think it wil revolutionize the coal-mining industry. Six men with the robot miner at their command can carry out the work formerly done by a hundred colliers. C-\N THEY BEAT MEN? Robots, invented and built by in- genious engineers, usually on the ba- sis of some acientist's discovery, are now busy all round us. For the most part we remain unaware of them be- cause they are not fashioned in hu- man shape. Let someone build a talking, walk- ing, mechanical man. a conventional robot and he will achieve much pub- „ ^ ., ~ _ . J i ! Hcity and crowds will achieve much Cainbridge Mass.-Fair co-eds a , ^^ exhibitions and the like. This is Simmons, Wellesley. Raacliffe «n<i . j,„ji„^gi,y happening. other giris colleges redoubled their g^j actuailv these mechanical men atndies w an effort to save money , ^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^ ,^^^^ important type of for their boy friends at Massachu- ^^^^^ ^^^^^ j^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^, ^^^ ^^ setts Institute of technology. tetter than a flesh-and-blood man, ed by light. Human beings have limitations. Their sense of feel, of balance, of direction, of sight cannot always be trusted. They tire; they need sleep. So robots are gradually replacing them in the performance of certain functions. They count people going through turnstiles by tallying their shadows as they pass ; separate, count, and bag masses of coins and piles of banknotes; gauge dimensions in machine hops at lightning speed, and infallibly to the thousandth of an inch. Our traffic-light signals are ro- bots. .\eroplanes are now steered by robots, while the human pilot ta- kes a rest. As early as 1927 a robot ! pilot steered a steamship, the Pulpit | Point, from 'Frisco to Auckland, N.Z., - a run of twenty-one days. ROBOT ON THE 'PHONE For the last six years the level of water is one of America's biggest reservoirs has been regularly re- ported by a robot which answers a â- phone call, gives the required infor- mation necessary â€" but in tone sig- nals), and rings off, returning to its sleepless job of watching the water level. Robots are e\-en invading the home. One of them, on the market now, switches itself on, boils the water, makes your morning tea, and then wakes you up â- wi'-h the buzz of its alarm at the appointer hour. From this to the robot which will put the joint in the oven, cook it, and announce vhen it is done, is only a step, and that step will be taken as soon as there i a real demand for the development. Givev time and money, engineers to-d»j can build a robot to perform almost any human function, includ- ing those of the human brain. sustaining this new and longed-for world is beyond the power of human hands and backs and brains. It will willing slaves who already do a large be made and maintained by the same part of the world's work, and who have blazed the trail for the new era of expansion which waits round the corner of to-morrow â€" the robots. The extra diligence resulted from an edict by sponsors of a party, to be held at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, that each feminine guest would be required to answer "yes" or "no" to a list of 10 pro- , ,, , , , . ,, , • ,. :• . , , , , „„„„„„,„„„f ! all-round human being, that mcredi blenv of household management. < * <" Should the girl err in her answers her escort must pay a fine of 10 cents per error in addition to regular party fee. And what is more, the party spoil- Enjoy a really fine handmade ciqarette by rollinq your ouMi taHtn GOLDEN VIRjSINIA > AL=.C MADE UP IN PIPE TOBACCO except, perhaps, attract attention at a show. The robots of to-day and to-nior- I row, the real robots, are improve- ments on the human being â€" not on all-round human being, bly marvellous creation, but on one of his limbs, one of his organs a ., : muscle a brain lobe. They relieve I men of special kinds of work and re- lease them for higher tasks. sors say. it will be easy to rate the I The other day, in a building in a ' various glrVa achools on -home-mak- \ Canadian city, a robber moved steal- ing" after ooanpetltlon of th* quest- : tl^'ly down a corridor towards a safe, lonnalre statistics Is complettd. ! Suddenly uproar! Gongs clanged I bells rang. He was astounded. He I had the place taped and charted. Be Careful When You Judge! j There was no burglar alarm except I the obvious one which he had discon- Pray don't find fault with the man nected on entering. He fled, and who limps. Or stumbles along the road. Unless you have worn the shoes he wears Or struggled beneath his load. was captured at the outer door. A robot had been on guard, in the form of a slender, invisible ray con- necting two points between the cor- ridor walls. While the ray remain- Torontoâ€" A baby girl who rai;;ht be worth half a million dollars to her : in October, 193i5. has been born to i Mrs. Mathew Kenny, leading con- tender in the Charles Vance Millar â- 'maternity sweepstakes." 11 REGISTERED The latest addition to the Kenny family gives Mrs. Kenny 11 children registered at the vital statistics de- partment since the millionaire sport- sman-lawyer died in 192G, leaving mg standards. The technical bar- | the bulk of his wealth to the Toron- riers to this particular millennium â€" j to mother who gave birth to the only one further stage in the upward | greatest numb, r cf children in the ten y-^vti after his death With Mr''. Grace Ragnato, D'"i- das street west, anticinating her ninth child since 1926. .Mrs. Kenny's "blessed eveni" which took place "at St. Michael's Hospital, places the Peter street French-Canadian moth- er two in the lead for the Mil'ar gold, now in the hands of trustees. Word from the hospital repcrLs mother and child were "dj'ng well." But Mrs. Kenny was disappointed. She couriPd on twins. She was cer- tain twi-s were coming. She had had two or. three â€" how many was it, anv- ^â- a-. â€" L-i-is of twins before, and rhp said she "knew whether it waj twins Tr only one." The Millar ''stork marathon" now has ilrs. Lenny, Mrs. BavTialc aid Mrs. Steffar.c Darriiro in the leaf- ing r<----;;cn;. Mrs. Darri^c has hid S3vcn chixien registered a* the -i- tal stiwi-txs department, and n^s hopes of registering another th'-'-e children born prematurely. Newspapermen have been "ccmp- ing on the doorsteps" of these con- tenders for the past several wce'vs. They have made big promises to the mothers for ohc'.o;:raphic and story rights in the event 'f their ,vi.i <in j the half million dollars. Mrs. Kenny dec. .tics the; .;hj i-n"t 5o keen about winning the M'T.ar half million as she is to beat Mrs. Bagnato. who, she claims, once told her 'til Bay street that sh3 "didn't have a chance â-  Mrs. Bagnato remains confident that she is in the leading position for the big prize money through this blessfd eve: It seemingly puts M'-s. Kenny two up on her. Hitch-Hikers Two Girls From Vienna Made Their Way From .\ustria to Endand BEYOND OUR BRAIN POWER Mathematicians and technicians have now at their command so-cal- led "thinking machines'' which per- form calculations beyond the power , of any human brain. They will 'â- . Two girls from Vienna have just got back from London, having "hitch-hiked"' their way half across Europe and back. They are the rich- er for the experience by the express- ions they gathered in the various countries by asking for lifts from likely looking motorists. The two girls are Josefine Reif- Serber and Maly Brot-Froschauer. Josefine is only 20, is the daughter of an official and studies medicine and psychology. Maly, who is 29, is a dressmaker, the daughter of a small shopkeeper. They were in London last September, their jour- ney ha\^ng been from Vienna to London and back. They travelled with 30s between them â€" and never had to spend a penny, save once: "It is only when one travels with little money that one really begins to know the world," declared Maly Brot-Froschaeur. "Above all we learn to know the national charac- teristics of the various motorists of whom we begged lifts. "Bu it was the Englishmen that we loved the best," said Maly with a smile. "To them it was always a gentlemanly act to invite two hiking I girls into their cars when we asked I for a lift. I "In Franco we did not have to beg \ for a lift once, but the Frenchmen took us, not out of a sense of duty, but because, for them, it was a The Lesson Of Life Pleasures I anticipate so often turn out badly That I have learned to watch for joy a trifle sadiv. "We are very hopeful and optimi.;- tic about business conditions." Edsel Ford. work out mathematical problems in j ^''^.t'"* *-^.P'"'T' , . an hour or two which a team of ma- ' ,, ^^'^ ^^'^'^ *°°'' "^ "^'o"^. because thematicians would require months ! "^^Tf T f t T^' ^°' *f T" to solve ! ^ Italians looked surpnsed for a moment when we asked for a lift "Life is harsher for men than for women, who seem to have developed a tougher fibre.'' â€" Gertrude .\ther- ton. "Nobody can forecast the outcome of the stormy era of history on which The mist imposing, although not but then they w-ere so polite that ^ ^'^ "'"^ "°'^^' P'^^^'''y ^''^^'^'ng-' â€" "Ja^* the most intricate, of these brain ro- they would make long detours out of ^' Smuts. bots is the tide-predicting machine in the office of the Coast and Geodetic Survey, in Washington. It is eleven feet long and six feet high and two feet wide: and into that space is packed the equivalent of a thousand high-powered mathematical brains speeded up a hundredfold. Put it to work, and in seven hours it will lay before you the time of day of each high and low tide during the next twelve months at each of the eighty-four chief ports of the world, including all such variants as spring tides and neap tide.*, with the exact rise or fall to be expected. Now. the tide rises and falls 1,400 times in a year. There are thirty- seven different factors â€" depending upon the relative positions of the sun, moon and earth, the shape and size of the harbour, etceteraâ€" mak- ing up a tide, culated simultaneously element enters into every calcalatTon. The people who deplore robots 'â- >€- cause tliey displace human labour see no farther than the men who wreck- ed machines because they feared for their livelihood. , their way iVr us. One Italian even j invited us to travel with him to i : Rome, but just then we were becom- ing homesick for Vienna and we ; had to refuse the in\ntation. j "Some of our experiences were not , so happy. One of the most bitter. I wluch had a 'happy-ending' was dur- i ing our 'march' through Belgium. j .An old gentleman took us as far as , Brussels and when we left his car I we forgot our ruckhacks. which con- I tained our little money and our pass- ' ports. "In our despair we went to the police, who arranged our night , quarters for us. In the morning our : despair turned to joy when the I Police Chief of a district in Brussels j informed us that our 'luggage' was j safe. The motorist had handed it I over to the police. T,. . . , ,1 "Another experience, also with a Classified Advertising PATENTS AN OfFKR TO EVKRy l.NVK.NTOK, ..ist o( wanted iiivemious anJ full .... . .nation sent free. Company, Worlj raient UajiK Street. Ottau.i. Ca: Til* Xanisay Atturncvs' .'TJ BABY CHICKS "V' KVHAUSKU .S Ui'oa Luok Batsy jL^ Chicks. Bach graJe Olood-testoJ. Live delivery gladly mailed L'ntarlo. miaiaiiteed. ou request. Calalojtu* Cltalham, 0X>0 COIKS Yf I land. We stopped a motor car driven j by what I think was an officer in I the Navy. He in\-ited us to go to ' his mother's house for a day. We - I were splendidly treated and we had \ never met such a nice old ladv on - , any of our travels. We had a" din 6 \NTKDâ€" United Spates Lincoln Head Cents. .Ml dates, up to $o."'' each paid. Price list 25c. Raymond F. Demars, ns North Forsythe, Sarnia, Ontario. â- XMESXSS C~1HEi'K coMs and headaches. Apply' stlclt to forehead; or to upper lip «o soothtnfc vapours may be Inhaled.' Not harmful. Mailed upon recipt of ;5c. ' Write K. Htldetirand. Box SS, Harrow, v>ntarl>' • * Issue No. 52â€" '34