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NAVil WADViDl? ' fight ha* at last been successfully accoin- flATAL MAnrAnCj, plubcd by several Italian birds. Tberoute Carrier Pifreoni to be Vied eo British iii IK i: MII mm.- < t > BE >! >i n i -i M i Af H4 -mi lit tklM- ..l\ I K1XI <. T M(l HI Newt comes from Kuglaiid that the British Admiralty have at last awakened to tbe necewily for using homing pigeonias earners of meatagee, and experiments on an exten- sive scale are about to be conducted. The Naval Intelligent* Department of Kngland i* aaid to have some splendidly t rained birds with which trials win be made, the Scilly Islands having been selected as the homing station. It is also reported that the Kng- lieh fleet nn the North Atlantic station u about to begin experiencing with the*e winged messengers, using Halifax as abas*. The history of tbe employment of pigeoni a* messengers antedate* the Christian era. It i* recorded that th* Roman* mad* us* of these birds during the reign of the first In th* year 1107 a pigeon service I established between Bagdad and all ihe important towns of Syria, and during the war of the crusader* there is mention of thi* employment. In l.'CJ the bird* first made their appear- ance in Europe, being used to communicate with a be-ieged town in Holland daring a Spanish invasion. Th* pigeoni are next heard of in lielgium, where they seem to have been extensively employed. Th* carrier pigeoni used at present throughout Kui ope as messengers arc known to the Kngliah faneien as " Homers, or " Homing Antwerp*. " The French, Italian*, and Portuguese call them " Messenger Pig- eons. The t.ermaiia apply the term " Brief Taube' to them, and the Belgians hav* for nearly a century called them " Pigeon Voy- ageurs." Nearly all the ntemenger pigeon* now ipread over ''hristendom are descend- ant* of the "pigeon voyageurs " of Belgium. Th* modern history ofthe mewenger or homing pigeon service and the advancement ami development of th* brerd for use iu time of war begins with the Franco Prus- sian war, at the time when the Ceruian Army arrived under the wall* of 1'arii. Not long before the tiege abc-.t eight hand; -1 pigeoni had been sent to Paris, from the different columbarian tocietie* throughout the northern province*. The Ijirds were for some tune tbe only mean* by which th* ID veiled capital could communicate with cuter France Th* German* very toon perceived the usefulness of this system of carrying inform- ation, and in IK7J they established military pigeon loft* at several towns, with heaa quarters at Berlin. The real of Kurnpe gradually took up the system. Ruatia established her first military loft at Moscow in 1S74. Austria established hersat Komom in IK7.V The Italian* ex pen men toil with |Uoitiat Ancona in IK7B, and as a result of th* experience then gained they were adopted for tbe military service in IS7M. Kngland ha* no regularly organized pige- on MTTice, but there are numerous loft* bejungiog to <>ovsrnmnt officials, and bird* from these sre to be used m the trials about to tie commenced. Canada ha* within th* past year inaugurated a syalein of messeng- er pigton service throughout the Dominion, extending from Halifax tn Windsor, and a* at present established i. from Rome to Cirita \> xhia, forty miles away, suid return, and the time taken for the round trip U a littl* over three hour*. To get the birds to fly over this line required much careful and patient training. The pigeoni live in Komc aud are fed in fivita \ ecchia. Starvation make* them fly, for so long as lliey can get feed at Rome they refuae to leave. So far, tin- " there and back " flight seem* to be limited in distance to about forty mile*. 11ns is enough for fleet use at sea, and among vessel* in squadron could be utilized with the greatest benefit. 4MI 1. I. -I This** ra. Happen. b*U II* .alwat* Bowser's r.u I c I* IN THB all. nr 4 1 n I* 4 PK IKII i iitr .rente Jeksisen aatf Bis Hen !- Tnelr live* In sunn u.koi.. 1'artu ular* of a disastrous prairie fire in Kmmon* county, sixty mile* south, have just reached Bismarck. The tire started at Winchester on the Missonri river, and burn- ed over th* country for rift) mile* in a southeasterly direction. Owing to the ex- tremely long prairie graa* the tare could not be controlled. George W. Johnson and hi* son were burned to death while lighting fire. A large amount of grain, hay, Darn*, etc., were destroyed. The damage can not lie estimated. From all orer the state coine report* of unusual heat for thii season of th* year, in some instance* the mercury exceeding 100 degree*. Near the north ttal* tin* many prairi* fires are reported, but details at to Ineaei are not known. Thus far no loss of life ha* been reported from tire*. So in- tense ha* been the heat in tome atction* that work in tbe harveit tields during the day ha* been impossible. Many person* were prostrated, and farmers, taking ad- vantage of the clear night*, have thrashed their grain by moonlight. I'nlea* immedi- ate relief come* the destruction of wheat by tire will be enormout. A prairie fire nvag- ed the country between White Lake and 1 'lank in ton, ausinn destruction of from f 10,- 000 to $16,000. The fire started by se-tir.n men burnings lire- break. The terrible heat of the lasl few days ha* scorched every stubblefield and liay range in the state until the f*mle.l spark is . ficiriit to start an almost unquenchable fire. Intense anxiety rvisls throughout the state at this time over the dsnger to crops and lives as well. In this county alone over $1,000,000 worth of wheat lies exposed to tire, which msy r lighted from tbe slightest <ause. From Kmmon* county come* the report of disastrous fire*, but mails have been delayed from Williamtport and the exact amount of damage it not known. , \\ illiamaport was saved from destruction hy , a -ud'lrn change in the wind. Near Lisbon thousands of acre* of wheat have been destroy ed The next few day* positive fear ot aome ex- tended disaster to life as well a* property. an regarded with positive fear of sume ex- Small tires, checked by prompt action of neighbon, have already ruined many farm* in the Jim river valley. rUporU of small fires are coming in hourly. The sun of the last few days ha* made th* graat like tinder, rne 1 1 , . . ,, M , .h <.,,. i , . To see thii 'and typically one should out tpan one's wagon on tin- top of a height on , a Summer s nnday. Not a creature sins I an \ where, and the sun pours down its ray* j on the mvcid dust-covered leave, of the | " Mrs. liowser,' solemnly began Mr. Bow- ser as he came home to dinner the other evening, " what did I say to you when I left the bouse this morning?" "You said it looked like rain," ah* an- swered. "I aaid it would rain before night, and it has. I'm w*t to th* hide." "That'* too bad." " Too bad ! and whose fault is it ? My I mind was occupied with business affairs, and you knew it waa, anil yet yon taw me walk i off without an umbrella. Mrs. Bowser, I " " Why, you took your umbrella along, ' the interrupted. " Never !" . " Of course you did ! Don't yon remem- ber dropping it at the gate ? You walked right out of the office aud lefl il there. " I did, eh ? Why don't you call m* a lint-els** idiot and be done with it " ' You mull have done so, for you *urely carried it away with you." That'* exactly what he did do, and he j knew he did, bat he squirmed out of it by offering to bet her a million dollars to a cent that the front door had been left wide open all the afternoon, and that a hall thief had carried off half the stuff downs-tain. One morning there wa* a smell of gas down cellar, and Mr. liowssr went down to tee if he could discover a leak. He put on an old hat kept for "poking around,' and when he left tbe house ne wore it away. It wa* rutty and spotted and broken, and it wu only when the hoys downtown began to "shoot that hat," that he tumbled to it. Then he flew back home with his eye* hang- ing out and hit face of a plumb color, and he wai no sooner inaide the Boor than he shout- ed : " Look st it, Mn. Bowser look at thai infernal old junk-shop which you deliberate- ly taw me wear away on my head and never aid a word about it !" " Did you wear that hat down town !" " Did I 1 Did I '." he ihonted at h* bang- ed it on the door and jumped on it " But I didn't tee you go. 1 wa* up- tain when you went, Mr. Bowser. You r. very absent nundeii. " I am, eh ! it* a wonder that I don't forget to come home isn't it ! Mrs. Bowrer, if there is another house in the I'nited States a* badly mismanaged at this I'd like to see u : ' " But can you blame me because you wore your old hat away !" she protested. 1 ' That 's it -that'* it ' Shoulder it off on me ' The papen talk about th startling number of divorce*. It's a wonder to me there are not five times as many ' " One day Mr. Bowser brought home a patent corkscnw, which some fakir jad sold him, and Mrs. Bowser saw him drop il into a wall pocket. A weak later, alter wandering around tl house for a half an hour one evening, he halted before her and said : " I'll be hanged if I don't get some chains and padlocks and see -I I can't have things left where I put them '" What it it now ?" 'ushei. When tin connecting all the principal seaport*. driver has gone to lie ' ! down behind tb* bushe*. and the leawtt to In the I'nited State* pigeons have been j gone to take lint oxen to water, if you aland used as messengers for a long time. IU lore the laying of the Atlantic cable homing pigeoni were employed tn carry the new* of the appearance of th* transatlantic iieam- rs tu th* telegraph station at Sandy Hook. 'I lie pilot boats have eiperinxnted with them at various times, ana birds hat* often keen let fly from itritmert and yacht*. The United States Signal Service ha* tahliibed a loft at Kry \Veet, and it is understood that the iriults have, so far, tiren highly satisfactory to the department at Washington. A naval homing pigeon loft hat also been established at ( 'oaiter'l Island, Newport, for experimental piirpoeen in carrying on rommumratinn between i-l.ip* at aea It i* thi* employment of the turd, that Knglish Admiralty propose* to investigate, together with their use a* meseenger* betwten tlnjxi separated from one another ome distance. Rinsrimoat* in both directions hat* already U--n made by Germany, Italy, and notably l.j Kranra. Tbe tint attempt* to domesticate pigeon* on board ship w*re ma<!< by th* French on board their artillery ehip the St l/ouis. In order to accustom th* birds to the IIOIM made by the firing of th* gun* a cote containing a dozen younf birds waa placed nn the hndgs between four gunt nf large calibre that were fired about 100 tune* a day. The bird* were much frighten- ed a farst, hut *oon got accustomed to the noise, and evry morning afterward they were liberated, with th* result that th*y always returned, whether the gun* were being fired or not, and whether the ship uat under way or at anchor. Many experiments with pigRon* on board thip and on shore il< ni.i.in i it. that the bird perfectly adapt* itaeilf to lif* on board (hip, r*cogni/mg it* own thip among a vessels, and neither frighten it away. fleet of many other noise nor smoke can Kvery outgoing French man-oi ntli a nnmberof pigeon voyager*, war is now proTided will win. I, art " tossed at vaiious ihstam es! ac- cording to ih*tr stage of tiainm^. They return to their home lofts l-eaimg cipher dispatches in umall quills iiit.,. i,.il tn their wines or tails. The tervice of pigeons for na\ l purposes may U of great importance. Ship* dtfend- ing a coast could by this mean* aend import act inlormatren ashore, signal the approach of th* i aeiny Beet, andreporl hi* mcve ii.en'K (In the high seas they could carry ordrrs from th* fugihip to vessels beyond the reach of any ordinary tignala. The experiment* of the Kngliih should b* care- fully watched, and the lesions to be teamed should stimulate our lioverninenl to the proper organisation, training, anil en ploy men! ol lieur winged meuenger*. i ii.-r di vnIopnMal 111 the inmsriu'er pigeon -i-ivi. has been the "there and back i long time it watbeliev ed thnt pui n- v.'.uld ffy in ore direction enly, from (lie point where they w*r* "toe*e<r 'r tight to their home*, thus akin*; u i-i.-iinihiiit to keep op a Urge tock of luril- if iiinniunication wa* to be niainiaih. i foi ny length o f time. In th* la*t f*w year* niimeroui tttempt* have been mad* to lest Ii I h* pigeon* to fly to u plac* in I to fly bak pisenn* This there and bar.k ' i.p alone ou the chett at the front of the wagou and look out, you will see at far as your eye can reach o\cr hills and dales, the silent, mniionle**, hot bush stretching. Not a sound is to be heard, and the heat is so in- tense your hand blisten in in* tent of th. wagon where you have rested il ; only from a clump of buih at your right a cicada tel* up its keen thrill cry glorying in the heat and s ditude of the bush. Not lesscharac teristically do you see it, when as a little child you travel through it in the night. The 01 wagon creep! slowly along th* sandy road ; the driver, walking beside it, calls at lutervala to his tired oxen ; we look out ocroas the wagon chett and aee a* the wagon moves along now the dark outline* of th* bushes ou either side seem to move too ; a freat clump aeeni* coming nearer and nearer ike a vaat animal ; the shapes are magnifi- ed by the dark. We cteep closer down I win ml the wagon chest and look out across it. Against th* dark night sky to our right, on the ridge of the hill, are the gaunt forma of aloes stand- ing like a row of men keeping watch. W* remember all the stone* we have heard of Kalir wars and men shot and stablied as they passed along hillsides, and of wild animals, and we creepdown lower ; then* Hill o'-the- wisp crunes nn: from some dried up torrent bed, anrl f.u liefore us dances in and ont among the clump* of bn.li, now in sight mid now out again. You arc glad when the people in the wagon Iwgin to sing hymns, and more glad yet whsn a ' .'M) the wagou tops, drawn up against a great clump of biuh at the roadaid*. The tired oxen are taken from the yoke, and every one climbs out, snd a fire is lighted, and you gather from far and wide stump* of dried elephant', food anil euphorbia thai you can drag with one hand, and bits of branch and dry twig, and i In o them on Ihe fire ; th. flaw* leap. higher and higher, and all .it down beside the ruddy blaze. Away behind another buih Ihe driver and leader have lighted their fire, and are lalkiug to eaoh other in Kafir as they boil the ooHs* snd grill tbe meal. The blaze of your own tin leaps up, and illumines tbe threat and dusty body of th* wagon with its white sails, anil glint* on ths horns of th* tired oxen where they ll* tired to their y xcs, chewing the cud, and on the bush with it* dark green leave* behind you, and you laugh and talk, and forget In* tori** of Kalir wars, and the gieat bush .tretching about you. It didn't Work Both Wajs ' Brown, do \on I m,\i w ,,\ \,m are like a donkey ?" " Like a donLey i, iiued Brown, open- ing w.de hi* eye*. ' No, I don't." " IK, you give it upV I do.' Because your letter half 11 stubborn ne*9 lt*el(. ' " That'* nol bad. H*. ha ! I'll give that to my wife when I gelhilme. " Mrs Brown,' lie atked at h sat down to .upper, " do you know why lam an much lik* a donkey?" He walled a moment, expecling hi. wif* to give il up. She looked *t him somewhat oemmiattraUngly a* h aaawand 1 suppose-baoauM yen were burn so. " I brought horn* a ail-opener a few day* ago and left it on a bracket in th* dining- room. It's con*, of course probably given away to some bit; lazy tramp ! It'* a won- der we have thing left in tint house 1" "A can opener ' ' " Yes, a ran opener. If you uever heard of a can-opener I'll hire some one to writ* you a history of it. It was invented to open can*,' " Why, we have two or three in the kit . In u. I)o you mean a can-opener ':" " 1 don't mean wind-mills or threshing machine*." " You had it in s pink paper ?" " Ye*, ma'am." "It wa* the day the man fixed the gal*?' " It was." "Well I saw you drop it in thai wall- IM.I-UI, and it is a corkscrew and not a can- opener." It is.eh ? Perhaps 1 don't know a im h mi; post from the City Hall," he growled a he reached for the parcel and unrolled it. It was a corkscrew. 1 1 could only be used a* a corkwrew. It was made and sold for a corkscrew. " Dirln'tltell you? queried Mr*. Bowser. "Tell me what ' Told me it was a cork- screw, and it's a can-opener, just a* I said it wa* It'* a corkier* w ' ' " It't a can opener !" And long a* Mr. Bowser draw* the breath of life h* will itick to it, because he lid so iu the Ant place. I iLs other husbands Mr. liowser u greatly worried over the safety of his wallet while around the house. He has an idea that Mrs. Bowser would ifive ten yean of her life to get that wallet in her handi for about two minutes, and that ihe lies awake a good share of every night in the year wondering where he hid it when he went to tied, makes it a religious duty to conceal il ever night and to count over his funds the ti ^ thing in the morning. One morning, itra r * a* it may *eem, h* left the hous* wit "K r taking hi* wallet, which he had hidden" 01 " night before under the bureau. He had '''*' gone about an hour when there wa* a clatter on the front steps, the op*n, and h* rushed mio the hack and stood before Mm How MM. Parlor She waa so upset thai she co ild only faint ly gasp : " Mr. Bowser, is mother dead ?" " Mother dead ' h* yelled, in reply, " what dn I knew about your mother ' Mrs. liowser, I've been robbed '" "No !" " And in my own house al th.u ' Some time during the night some one got out of bed and *tol* my wallet "Impossible ! Was it in your coat?" 1 Well, no not exactly For fear of tmr- glart 1 "- " You what '" the asked, as he he*itated and looked confused. He rushed upstain, and she followed in time to see him pull th* walle' from under the dnster. " Then you were not robbed t" she tartly ohwrved. N no noi nil ne ; nol this time. Bui iel thii be a great moral lesson to you, Mrs. Bowssr never to meddle with my wallet ! That'i something no husband will put up with.'" "! never touehed youi rdd wallet An I see lhal you never do ' And don't talk back, Mrs. Bowser. You have hud a v*ry narrow escape, aud you ought to be thankful for it very thankful Home hus- bands would hav. raised a row ; but I think you nmli island me, and I think thi lestou will not be lotl on you," Wk*l 4ir.il. ui TtMMaski nun., a Hair H iBBle s rail. The fearless aeronaut who made the daily ascension* at tin- Toronto Ex hibition relat- ed to a reporter the following thrilling inci- dent : " It occurred two yean ago at Terre Haute, Ind. 1 shall never forget my ex- perience on that day. A number of out- sideri held the ropes of the balloon while it waa being inflated, and one of the men amused himself by tying a big knot in hi. guy. I did not realize the danger from tbat knot until it came near being the cause of my death. My aacent wa* nnuiually high on that day, and it was the mean* of caving my life. I straddled the bar of my parachute and launched myself off. I felt the cord which held the parachute to the balloon snap, and a **cond later there waa another ' tug ' from above. I looked up, and there wa* that knot on tbe guy swung around nx of th* parachute cords, forming as neat a half hitch a* you *vr saw in your life and holding me to the balloon. You have noticed that there i* a weight attached to the top of the balloon which turn* the bag upaide down at it i* released of the weight of the aeronaut. The guy rope which wa* half hitched around tbe itrings of my parachute wa* also fallen- ed to the top of the balloon, and the bitter turned up and began discharging the hot air instantly as I jumped. The air escaped as you see it every day here, gradually, and of coune my parachute descended very gradually at first, and not inflating. Down I kept coming, the guy rope preventing the parachute from inflating, and I gave myself up a* lost ; I wound my leg* around the rope* of the parachute trapeze and shut my teeth. Tbe speed commenced to be fearfully accelerated, and I was sure that I had to die, but I was cool and retained my sense* " Soon th* balloon hail emptied itself and TIT-BITS. To Brine Good Lack " No, I'm not superstitious," said a eit*v cn in con venation, " but my wife 11 She went out yeiterday and forgot her paracoL So she came hack and bud down her pock** book to get her parasol, then ahe went orft and forgot her pocket-book. .So back she came the second time and *at down." " Aren't you going out ?" I aaked. " ' Ye* ; but if I went out the si-con. 1 tune without silting dewn to break the ipell I would have bad luck." " She pot up and went cot, and i eaw that she had sat down on a brand new silk j hat that coat me *ix dollar* and ruined it That was not very good luck for me." She Knew The Old MAD, Mr. Jones " Business is so brisk aa*l and correspondence accumulate* so that I fear I shall be obliged to emyloy an amanu- ensis. ' Mr*. Jon**" Very well, my dear, get a manuenais if you must ; hat I decidedly object to your having a womannenw* .c the office. " commenced napping it* huge tail in the air with awful swishes. The lialloou weighed over 'JOO pounds and was al*o pulled down by the sixty- pound sand bag. It cam* down past me, and at the knotted guy rope flipped down the line* the parachute opened with uch a fierce snap that it seemed as if the -- pcs rvhich supported rr. - ould give away. The spreading of the parachute saved my life, for the 200-pound balloon kept on down and broke the sit cords held captive by the guy rope a* if they had been pack thread*. It takes a lone time to tell the story, but it all happened in half a minute. I was within 400 fret of the ground when tbe balloon tore away, but my fsll was checked and I landed all right. " Kv*rybody thought I waa a goner that day and a more excited crowd than had gathered around wrhere I wa* to have fallen you never saw. There is no mistake about my being scared tbat day, but I folded my parachute and balloon a* coolly a* if anything had happened and went to bed for the re- mainder of the week. easMWhlB Mill \r,.i,.i Because aails have bveu replaced by steam it rloes not follow that the need for sesman hip has disappeared. The art includes the whole management of a vessel in anchoring or getting up anchor, or in a storm, or in steering at a high rale of tpeed in dilh'cuh circumstance*. No training in ihe engin* room can give thi* knowledge or the habit of using it. The seaman is the man who directs the ship's course from her deck. The engineer is the man who belnw the water- line looks after the machine which supplies the motive power. The distinction is to natural that it ha* imposed itself on th* mer- chant nervier, in which no attempt ha* been made or, we may be sure, ever will be made to combine the master and his mates with the engineer and his assistant*. Kecides, there is the. navigation to attend to, which in the old navy wa* commonly left to the eailmg master. It is uow not thought sufficient to run down the latitude and along the longitude ; nor would a t 'ap tain who, in turning Cape Horn, came up ou the wrong side oiSouth America which little mistake was made by l^egge, and almost made by Anton, both txcellent, practical teamen be any longer thought to have done nothing extfeordinary. Naviga tion hat to be more accurate than this delicate ins t rumen IK not kuown to the old seamen mutt be handled and careful calcn lations made with which he who had the happiness to live in a world in which time was of no consequence dispensed with. \Yhat remains of *eamanship and naviga- tion by themselves amounts nearly to work enough for any man ; but a navel officer has not only to direct his ship, he ha* to fight her. After all, he U first, and fore- most a tightei, and only siibnrdinately a navigator or seainau. *ras In Siberia the milk liee/e- naturally dur- ing the severe frost* experienced in that country ; but in France the freezing is done artificially The Siberian winter lasts so long, aud the cold ia so intense, that milk la there bought in the solid lorn,, the people buying it in chunk* instead of quart* For convenience it issonielimesallowed to freeze round a stick, which i* then used a* a handle to cany ll by, aud the milkman leaves one chunk or two chunks, as the case may be, al the house* of hi* customer. An import- ant industry in Franc* has arisen for selling milk in solid form.it having been ascertained that milk can be kept perfectly fresh in a frozen condition for more than a month. Tbe milk in frozen iu cans by means of th* ordinary ice making machines, and after- wards despatched by roaxl, rail, or steamer to iu destination. The customer who pur- chase* the solid milk hatt simply to thaw it for a miuute or two over the fire when it i* required for us*. In a paper read before a recent meeting of th * Agricultural Society of France, M. (iuerin, of Uraudville (Yosges) staled lhat in cooking, yield of cream, aud every other rasped, the frozen correspond- ed with ([iiite new milk, ami thai on the fourth day the cream wts still excellent in the frozen which was not the case with the new. Buttei aud cheese can lie prepar- ed from the frozen quite a* well as from the new milk. Her Little Lamb- she took hr son upon her knee. And ki*ud bin curl*, and -.mi ; I ..m Soclail uiy little boy loves me. For mother loves ner little lamb. Jibe took her son acrosx her knee : Alack ' she'd caught him in the jam I And eftdoon much convinced was be That mother loved her little lamm. Conversation i* a t rathe, and if you enter it without some stock of knowledge to bal- ance the account |erpetually betwixt you, the trade drop* atone*. k Lauren, c Sterne. A Model Witoea*. " Now, sir, I hope we shall have no dif- ficulty in getting you to speak up," (aid th* lawyer, in a very lond, commanding voice. ' I hope not, sir," shoaled the witnei* at the ton of hi. lung*. ' How dare you .peak to me in tuat way ? " aiiKrily asked the lawyer. " Because 1 can't speak no louder, *ir," said the hostler. " Have you been drinking ?" " Ye*, *ir. " " I should infer so from your conduit. Whal have you been drinking ?" " Coffee, ' hoarsely vociferated the knight of the stable. " Something stronger than coffee, sir, you've been drinking ! Don't look at me like that, sir !" furiously. " Look at UM jury, sir ! Did you have something in youi coffee, sir ?" "What was it " "Sugar." " Now, sir," turning to iht wiuiem, " look at me. What betide tugar did yo take in your coffee thi* morning?" The hostler collected bis I'mc . drew deep breath, and in a voice tn ir could have been heard half a mile awn , , llowru out " A spune ! A ipune, an i ..thiuj; else '" Easily EspU nd- Mrs. Armstrong (a itran^vr) Who M that stylish looking lady I .i>v in one of the frout pew* at service thi* mcr-iing?" Mr*. Perkin* " Oh, that Mis. t ' iton." Mr*. A." Indeed ! I shouldn't suppose ihe could afford it. She had double ruw* of button* " Mr*. P." Oh, you see.being the .:inist- er'* wife, she take* charge of tbe collections. Helping Him Out Knglish Tourist (wild-eyed aud frantic) " Hi, there, guard ! I've lost me box me Iu g8*g r : Cawn't find it anywhere ?' American Railway official "Any trousers- in it like the pair you have on r Ve* '' Then why don't you go into the baggage-room and listen r Willing to Follow Direction! Photographer Kaise the chin a l.-'.tle, Pi \ictim "Am I all right otherwise ' " Yes." " Just want the chin a little higher ' " Ye., that* all." " Anything to accommodate you. ' Take* out hi* false teeth, clo*e* his mouth and 1m chin come* up to hie nose.] It Wotiidn t Suit Her IVddler --" Madam, I have some vt-ry fine mottoes for thehoiue. " Woman--" What have you got?" Peddler- " Here 1 * a beautiful out " n you don't see what you want, ask for it,* Mow's that for the dining-room ?" Woman " It'* no good for me, vouni; man. This is a boarding-house. ' The 8*me Old W 4J traveler "And you -ay you have a hundred souvenir spoont ! Didn't they cost you lots of money ? ' Traveler-" Not at all. The waiter turn* hi* back and I do the reat," Bought and Paid For- Mrs. (ia*w*ll (newspaper in hand) "Thi* is hornble. " Caawell "What?" A man ha* told hit wife for fifteen del- Ian." "Th* woman has one sal ia/ackion ut all events." What in that?" " She in t a loan female." Limberhp Explains- Mr. Snowdrop" I understand, | ;ir*oB, that there is a member of your chutvh in high standing who has served a u-rm is State prison." I'anon Limberlip " Dai's de trufc, sau I Deacon Bigamu* am dat pussion an' I must say dat if h* 'have In ins It in de jug ter de same exttent* er respeckterblne*s w'at he do in th* church, dat ins'tiition done lose a thinin' light." Mr. Si-" That's all very well, parson, but don't you think it rsther reflects 011 the church government to have an ex convict occupying a place of trail in it* fold. ?" Pareon I. No, sah ! Dat am, not ercording ter de interleckturum kerpocer ties dat 1 aee* wid. De man dat gut a diplomer f'om de penertenshary, dat man h* done know he bein' watch, an' yo' know yo'.'el he b'ar watchin', an' be mighty ap ter' have 'imse'lf, bui de sinner dat bc*n foxy enough in h* wickedness ter keep ont de penertenshary an' dafro' ain't got no bran' on 'nn, dat's de chap dat's at mo*' liabl'r ter raise cane in de siaergoa su make o' keep yo' ey* skint twell yo' kainl re*'. >at's de ilitfer*nce," Nothing is more diagraceful than tnaincet- ity. -{docro.