Grey Highlands Public Library Digital Collections

Flesherton Advance, 10 Oct 1889, p. 3

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Tolc«* of the Fair. ** Come on, now, good people ! Tbli w&y to the F»ir! • " They're fresh ind they're jaicy, they're ripe and » thev're rare ! ' " Oh, wb&tart) those ihmga with the tig whirring wheels V ' "Kow don't go in there, girls; let's go see the seals." "Oh, isn't that sweet!' "Here's year pink n lemonade I " ** Take back that bacaner ; the dam thing's f decayed!" " Oh, juat see her face and the light on his hair : It's Wonderfully painted. " " J&ne, git me a /%. chair ; liOQd sakea, I'm mast dead:" "Hereyoa are now. this way ; A half dime! a nickel! jujt five cents te^lay: " *' She's Che only lady with tw i distinct beads ! Don t miss it: ' "Oh, ma, what's that under them sheds! ' " Here J all you can eat now for thirty-flve cents! " " I see the ball'joD over there by the fence! " " I tell you ihere's no pork in tbese ; not a bit ! ' ** Don't eat them, gucd people ; you'U all have a' fll!" " Why yours are all cinders ; they're half raw, while mine " " Come hero for your pictures ; I'll make you look liael" Oh, my, ain t it crowded; I wisht I was home!" ' Please give me a big cup of clear tea with fcam." "Ob. l<x>k! Oh, my gracioos, aappose be should faUI" " Jast Bee him go up! Oh. my. isn't he small .' " "Just look, nuw: he's jumped!" "Here's hot coffee and tea ! " " I'really suppose he's as scared &4 can be.' V That cut just cLuck (u.l , I must stand up ; oh, dear, I vow 1 won t kill myself couiin ueit yesr. ' KUsing OQ the PlAtform. P(*' Bohemian" writes in the Bt. Thoina:^ Jimrnal: The railway atatioDS are the great hissing marts of the world. It is there yoa can see kissing in all lis atylea, and it is interesting to watch the people doing the kissing act. Ail the different varieties of kissing known to civilizad and ancivilized men can be ai:en, and to witness the exhibition takea all the sentiment oat of a kiss for the apeotator. People in every walk of life go to the railway station to meet friends and relatives, and the sty lea of kissing to be foand there are aboat aa plentifal as the leaves that strew the brooka of Vallombrosa. Borne come together with a quick moveoieat, a ehoit, sharp report and break away again, the oscatatory exercise being over before it had hardly began. Thia ia the ordinary kiss of greet â-  ing between friends and relatives. The kiss that occapiea aboat the mediam daration of time is that between baaband and wife. The hasband for some weeks past has pat in jaat a " miserable " time whilst kia wife baa been raslicating with friend-i. The poor fellow has been oat with the boys every night, playing wbisi, billiards, taking in cverytbiag in the shape of fan, and taken altogether baa been having a very raddy time. To tell the tralb be ia not sorry to see his " pardner " back, bat he cannot for- get what a " miserable " time he baa been having, and he haa to make oat he ia more pleased that she is back than he really is, and he makes a desperate attempt to kiss her as he asel to ia the old days before and jast after marriage. Bat h.i has not the staying power and the kiss is only a coonler- feit â€" there is not the cling to it there was when the couple were only lovers. The trae lover's kisa ia a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Aa soon as they gel their eyes upon each other, these two soala with bat a single thoa,^hc fall apaneacb other's necka, wind their arma aroand each other with a lock hitch at the back, their lips come to- gether with a load report, w^bicb gradaally diea away like a distant echo, the lips are slowly drawn apart, the arms anwound and the olinging kiaa ia over. There is no per- sons in the wide world S3 oblivioaa to what is passing aroand them aa a couple engaged in a clingiog kiastag bee, and they will stand right there rod cling no matter if 300 persona are taking it in. A case of this kind was witnessed at tb^ ^i^wtion the other day. A young dude waited around for several trains, and when no familiar face sho'wed up in the crowd be would retire looking disoousolate. At last the party he was looking fur appeared. She was a yoang girl of the duiine order. Ue ooald barely restrain himself antil she oame within reach. As soon as he dared he made a daah and grabbed the object of his affection. " Ob, zne dawlin : " ha excia oed, and their lips met in a clinging kisa. The brim of her big hat came down over the dade'a little head and completely hid it from view. Those behind them stopped to sDJoy the Bight, and a amall boy tired a volley into them likd thia: "Break away there!" "Come off the roost 1" " Ain't we all in it ? " Bat they paid no attention to the gags, and did not break away till they were good and ready. Testing Soil* by the Color of Ftauts. M. Georges Yille, a French scientidc agrioaliarist, after almost thirty years of assidaona researches on the experimental farm at Vinoennes, has made a remarkable and important discovery of a relation ex- isting between the color of plants and the riohness of soils in fertilizing agents. His oonclasions, recently reported to the Paris Academy of Sjiences, deserve consideration by all farmers and borticalturisia. He finds that the color of the leaves of plants undergoes marked change whenever the soil ia lacking in phosphate potash, lime or nitrogen. The color remains light green or tarns to yellow when the aoil is deficient in phosphate potash or nitrogen, When none of the fertilizing elements are wanting the color ia a dark green. By bia experiments M. Yille famishes agricultnriats with posi- tive indications by which they can deter- mine with the greatest facility what kind of fertilizer the soil needs most or in what elements of fertility it aboands. His ex- periments shonld be repeated by oar De- {Mrtment of Agrioaltare and the results pabliehed. The praotical information whiob might thou be supplied to American farmers would enable many of them to " make two blades of grass grow where oae now growl.' Wlthla the Law. 'Wild-eyed Manâ€" I want a lot of poison right off. Drug Clerk â€" It's againat the law to sell poisoDS to people who look as it they wanted to commit suicide ; but I'll let you have a bottle of Dr. Blaok- Sequin's Glixir of Life. That aeema to be pretty sure death. * It is annoauced that the Queen haa post- poned nntU next year her oontemplated visit to Strathpeffer Bpa, Boaashire, bat will prolong her stay at Balnoral antil November. She will probably go to Aix- iM-Bains earljr in (be apring. OUREBNT TOPICS. Os Saturday the city of London elected a Lord Mayor and two Bheriffa. Aa an evi- dsnce that the day of disabilities ia over, it ia only neceaaary to state that the new Lord Hayor is a Hebrew and a Jew, one Sheriff a Catholic and the other an Atheist. 1 1 is said that a vast army of tramps ia abroad along the entire length of the Penn- sylvania Railway, and like a a warm of locusta ia devouring everything edible in its track. Decent, peaceable people are alarmed at the invasion. Farmera are at the mercy of these tramps, railway cara are pillaged and train handa assaolted. The queer thing about the matter is that these tramps came from the mines, factcriea and foan- driea of Pennsylvania, the most highly protected Slate in the Union, and the men are the oSspt'ing of the over protected tisdes. The motto of the British Volimteers ia " Defence, not defiance." They are wholly for borne protection and cannot be sent abroad. The War Office haa jast elaborated a scheme of defence and now every volun- teer knows exactly where he ia to oe placed in a time of invasion, what is re<}aired of him and how he la to get to hia destina- tion. It is noticeable that in the arrange- ment Scotland haa more volanteera than will be required in her defence. Having made herself all serene abe will aend to the aasiatance of England the two High- land and South of Scotland Brigades, with the gana of the Fife, Ayr, Galloway, Aber- deen and Inverneaa Artillery Corpa, be- sides movable batteries of garrison gaimera from the seven brigades, and garrison gonnera of the second class from the Banff, Argyll, Caithness and Orkney brigades. Foar days after the order for mobilization every volunteer will be at his destination. Ont^^io does not lack lawyers. Some- times we are inclined to think there are too many of them, bat we cannot sympathize with the measures that are spoken of to reduce the supply. One plan ia to compel the students to attend the Law School both morning and afternoon, thua dlEcriminating against thcss who depend for support apon the salaries they earn in the cffioea. An- other plan is to raise the feea for becoming solicitor and barrister from !$'^0 and 7100 to 540O and 5-300. These changes would simply leave the door open to rich men's sons, and closa 't agamst the poor. A far better scheme would ba to raise the standard of qualihcation â€" to make the examinations harder. A head teal is better than a pocket test. By the way, ia it jaat the thing to let a company of lawyers decide the terms apon which other men aball be allowed to practice law, or to let the doctors' guild fix the barriers sarroanding ths medical profession '? The merchants have no aaoh close corporation, nor have the editors, nor ths carpenters, nor many other classes of workers, who, to pat it mildly, require more bralna than the lawyera to make a living. If the law- yers over- do the fencing- out business, the public will be apt to help the law stadents to re-arrange the whole system. WiLxiE CoixiNj, the novelial and drama- tist, died Monday. Some weeks ago it was cabled here that Mr. Collins was dying, but he afterwards rallied and for a time seemed to improve. Death, however, haa ovar- takdn him at last, and with bu life diaap- pears one of the famUiar literary figures of the iy:h century. William Wilkie Collina wssthe eldest son of Wdliam CoUina, the well-known painter of raatio scenee, aud was born in London in January, 1^21. After being educated at a private school and spending two years with hia parents in Italy be waa articled for four years to a firm in the lea trade, but he aoon quit to stady law. His lirst literary production i«as a biography of hia father, published in ISi-!. From thia time he devoted him ^slt entirely to literature, and psblished suc- ceseively "Antonina," 1S51 ; "Basil," lSo2 ; •• Mr. Kay's Cash Book," Uo'i ; " Hide and Seek, " 1S5-4, etc. Soon after- wards he becams a contribator to the Bjtuehtjld Word, and his "After Dark" and " The Daad Secret " are reprints of the tales which originally appeared in that periodical. In lio'i he published the "Qaeen of Hearts ' and in 1860 his masterpiece, "The Woman in Whits." In 1602 "No Name" appeared, followed in 1963 by " My Miacellaniea " and in 1S66 by "Armadale." "The Moonatoue," " Man to Wife" and many other worka followed in rapid succession. Of late years he has contributed largely to llirper's ilaij'izim. Mr. Collins' works have beeii translated into almost every modern language and have run throagh several editions. He was a member of the Guild of Literature and Art. " He wrote " The Light IIouss," first played in private at Taviatock House and afterward prodaoed at the Olympic Theatre. "The Frozen Deep" waa pro- duced at Tavistock House by a company of amateurs, among whom waa Charlea Dickens. Mr. CoULna dramatized " The Moonstone" in 1S77. ABiaTOCRATIO SFOBT. What It Costa to Sfalntaln a De«r rorest in Scotland. No one bat a millionaire will think of hiring a deer forest. And yet there are deer forests with fishing which are not highly rented for men of modest meana and a quiet mode of life. The lodge party, the champagne Inncheons, the racket and fashion of the west end transported to Glen Sneeshin â€" these are what render deer-stalking eipenaive. SliU it is computed that each deer that is shot costs its slayer fifty guineas. There are over a hundred deer forests in r^oolland, some (like the forest of Mar, Blackmount, or Glenstrath- farrar) of immense extent, the first of those named comprising 80,100 acres. They oc- cupy about '-',000,000 acrea on the whole. Estimatmg their rental at '2a >>d per acre, thia alone amounts to £1,50,000. The cost of living and various other modea of outlay will certainly add SSO.OOO to these figures. Ample ia the harvest of gold which the Pactolua of deer-atalking rcUa though some of the moat barren districta of the Highlands, running, however, by an easy tranaition to a groaae m'jore, here rents are much easier, yet each brace of groase ahol ia aapposed to coat the sportsman £1. Moors stand at from lOd to 28 7d, or 23 Oi per acre, with lodges upon them. Taking a case, tar instance, where the rental would be li per acre, a ahooiing of 1,000 acrea would coat the leasee £100, aad the acres of heather ou^ht to hold a hundred brace of groase, while fifty brace would be left aa breeding slock. There are cot less than '2,100 shootings in Scotland (in addition to the deer forests) which hold groase as well aa other aport. In a good eeaaon it ia eatimated that 300,000 brace of grouse will be ahot in Scotland, wbioh represents the same number of pounds in rent. Travelling and living muat, of courae, be included in the coatlineas of theae moore. Taking on an avers^ie ten aportaman annually as visiting each cf these forests and moors, 23.00)0 persons, besides ladies, childrsn and servants, have to be transported to and fro, and it £20 each be allowed for this purpose, the modest sum of £500,000 moat be added to the amoimt of rental. afany Tears a Bachelor. Yoont: lady (to middle-aged gentleman at Saratoga) â€" Mr. Kivington, I suppose you are very fond of little children .' Mr. K. â€" Yea, indeed ; passionately fond of them. Young ladyâ€" You have some of your own, have yoa not ? Mr. B.â€" Oh, DO ; I'm a baohelor. Young lady (innocently) â€" You don't mean it ? How long have yoa been a bachelor '? Indlspatahle Evidence. De Pole â€" Where do you intend to spend your vacation ? De Pole â€" I am going to oar milkman's dairy farm. There is the finest kind of fishing in that neighborhood. 'Hub! Yoa don't take his word tor it, do you?" " Ao, indeed. We've foand yoang troat in his milk." "Tinj[" QaantreU, the English jockey, ia now riding tor a stable in Pennsylvania. He ia a little fellow, not more than tear feet in height. He has had a wide ex- perience in bis calling. He haa had mounts in handr«d8 of races iu Kngland, including a number of Derbys. He baa ridden in the Grand Prix at Paris, haa plied the whip and spurs in South Africa, and haa raced on every track in Australia. He haa been in the west tor sometime, aud ia making hia way back to England, having got as tar aa the' Keystone Slate. Demurallxlug Orlnks. "Give me a great doable-barreled, centre- fire, back action drink of aoda and phos- phate," ordered a jolly customer at a drag store last night. " Do vou know what thia favorite of yours ia doing for yoa? ' asked the venerable druggist, aa the caaiomer drained hia glaas. "Killing the nausea m my stomach',' wasjthe reply. "Yes, and it's killing your stomach, too. Some of these days you'll want it capper- plated, and you'U want in vain. Phoepbaie ia some- thing that no one should take ex::epl after a full meal. Why 7 Well, I will explain. You wouldn't think that the indammabla ends of matches were a proper thing to eat, would you ? But phosphate is derived from phosphoras, and if you used ii to excess it will burn out yoar atomach jast as alcohol would if used in excess. Yoa feel benefited by it now. bat if you keep on the time will come when yoa will wish that you had never heard of phosphate. Of coarse, we sell il because there is a foolish craze for it, bat I advise no one to ase mach of the fiery substance." "Should no one use it at ail.'" "In moderate quantities just after a fall meal it will not hurt any one ; but beware of osing il in excess or on a;i empty stomach, for if you do that organ will need half- soling and heeling some lime." LXfe U Uach What We Make it. Take time ; il ia no u33 to fume or fret, or do as the angry housekeeper '-vho has t;ol hold of the wrong key, pushes, sbakea and rattles il about ths lock until both are broken and the door ia atill unopened. The chief secret in comfort liea in not auffering trifios to vex us aad in cultivatiug our aadergrowih of small pleasurea. Try to regard preaeai vexatioaa as you will regard them a month hence. Since we cannot gel what we like let ua like what we can get. 1 1 ia not riches, it is not povert}, it ia human natur" that ia the troable. The world ia like a looking-glass. Laugh at it and it laughs back ; frown at it and it frowns back. Angry thoughts canker the mind and dis- pose it to ths worst temper in the world â€" that of lixed malice and revenge. It is while in this temper that moat men become criminals. Sho'w yoar sense by saying maoh in a few words. Try to speak some kind word or do some kind deed each day of your life. You will be amply repaid. Set your work to song.â€" '•rjjAin.;(-,'n Poif LIPS THAT NKTKB TOCOB. Japanese Are I(uoniBt of the Fl«as(tr«8 af Oseolatioa. Over in the Mikado's empire kissing ia an unknown pleasore, and even between husband and wife oacalatory enjoyment ia a liberty never indulged in. Although the young J'apaaese maidens have the rosiest of lips, the whitest of teeth and the sweetest of smiles, their dainty little mouths are aa forbidden fruit to their sighing awama, who mast content themselves with more formal manifeasationa of their love. A Tokio oor- respondenl of the San Francisco ChronicU: writes thus : Tis a melancholy fact, but a Japanese has no such impulse. No lover coarts hia mistre^js with " sweetest peraaasive kisses." Mq mother kisses her baby aa she hugs ic to her boaom. Parting hasband pressea the hand of bia wife and benda her forehead to the mats in sad farewell. Oar salataciona ran through the crescendo of bow, hand- shake, kisa and kiss. I can't explain the difference in grade between the last two, bat everybody knows. Bat in Japan the expression of regard is regulated by the number and length of the salaams. A friend who constantly travels aboat the country told me of a little illaalration in point. He had been on the road fcr six weeks, having with him a native merchant who was interested in his business. On their return to Tokio he accompanied the broker to hia home, a permit for the night'a visit having been obtained from the local Ln- apector of Police. The wife met her has- band and friend at the door and aabered them in. Together ihey assisted their gueat M remove bia coat. The wife next took from her lord 'nia wadded kimono and other wraps and folded them away. Then, and not until then, did ihey kneel upon the ma'!> and bow long and low to each other. " You have been many weeks away from aa,' sail the .vife, in a sweet, affectionate voice. " We have waited for you with im- patien:e, I hope that yoa are well, dear lanoskesan." And he thanked her and said he was. Ready for the Wtute Basket. Young Poet â€" Now, to tell the truth, I don't think this poem of mine can be im- proved on. Friendâ€" la it aa bad aa that ? Joseph Arch, the Engliah labor leader, is a stoat man with a pock-marked, weather beaten face, covered with atubby beard. His eyes are blue. When roused by excite- ment his chest expands, his voice roars and he exhibits the cbaracteriatica of an angry lion. A TQtSLT W.IU.. The season grows colder apace, The winds begin to roar : So. when you oouie into this place, Fleate, mister, shut the door. It's most too warm tor Arus aa yet, Tbey d open every pore ; Bat frost has come, mankind to froc, So, mister, shut the door. Don't leavo it swinging while wo sneeze, .Vnd christen you a bore ; Unless you want to see us freeze, Why, bang ic, shut the door ! Don t make as shiver till we're blae. And hanker for your gore ; Look here, we've said all we're going to on this subject, and the ne.\t thing you know we'll be over thern wiping the floor up with you Unless you shut that door. â€" Hotel gaest (sitting ap in bed, watch in hand) â€" Six o'clock and nobody oomes to wake me. I shall be sore to miss the train. Manager J. C. Duff's oomio opera com. pany, which ia presenting " Paola" at ths Fifth Avenue Theatre, New York, will shortly take to the road, playing in all the large cities east cf the Mississippi, and will retorn ia tha spring. iBgraM ii AT PABI8. WiigTiltlcent Speelmeaii of Art la TeztOsib One of the most delicate exhibitors of long- skilled hsudicrafi, at the present French exhibition, is from the linen loOflW of Ireland, in the form of damask nan- kins out of a aet of two dozen doiliea, maM for a jubilee gift to Queen Victoria by ft Belfast manufacturer- Theae doiliea am woven from the fineat linen yam which hU ever yet been spun from dax fibre. Tha napkin ia exhibited in its unbleached atate^ and also ia its bleached and finished oon- dition. Upon each ia a strikingly faithful delineation of the factory from which i* cornea. The boilding is photographed, u il were, in the linen web. Use of thesa damask doilies, about sixteen indtiea square, containa 3, COO threads of warp and 1.012 threads of woof, acd these threadSi joined together, would extend a distanoa oC more than two miles. Y'et the napkin seems to be the merest figment of gossamee â€" a fabric of lightest gaase, a thing OOM might blow away with a breath. The draughtsman was engaged for seven months in the preparation of the enlarged design â€" about iwel-.'e feet square â€" upon paper. Thia plan or map, ao to speak, aC the napkin waa divided by fine maohina rulings into 12,000,000 B<iuares, each line standing for one thread of the web. On the dama^ik 'work are represented 44 dif- ferent species of fema, birds, bulterdiea and dowers. Irish lace, hand-made, at lOO goineas a yard, handkerchiefs at 9250 each, and many other samples of exqaisita skill and patient toil, from the north at Ireland looms, are included in the display. In further illustration of thia great indas> try. there is a diaplay of daxaeed, the dax plant with iia blue dower, dax atraw, scutched dax and dax spun into yarn and wound upon bobbins ready fcr weaving. There are also illastrated plans of the dif- ferent processes of makin;^ damasks, and the entire exhibit is appropriately sur- mounted by one of the most ancient speci- mens of an Irish dax wheel for spinning nen thread. Virtue iu Good Coffee. So extensive is the adulteration of co£fee it is not easy to obtaia the pure article, even althoagh the highest prices be paid. The substauce commonly used iu adolteratiou are chicory, roasted grai::3, peas or beans. Tha priiicipal element of roaated chicory ia augar. It ia aaefal in ooloriag the decoc- ticr., but adda u-^ibing to ita virtuea. As for the other substances, althoagh they may be harmless, cou3ideri.".g their ase The Burdens of Womanhood. Thoasands of women are silently soffar- ing antold misery, simply because they shrink from conaaliing a physician inthoaa nameroQs oomplainta arising from ftino- tional irregularities and disorders. Man/ a modeat girl and woman prefers to Dear her heavy burden in ailence rather than to go to the famUy physician for advice. All sufferers from thia class of disorders can, however, fiad prompt and sure relief in Ur. fromaneconomicpointof view, nothing ia Pierce'a Favorite Ptescription- It ia made in buying coffee which contains them even if the price of the mixture be much under that demanded for the purs article. Thia ia evident when il ia known that not infrequently what paases for low price cotfee containa at least '30 per cent, adol- teratiou. In baying col?ee the purs is actually the cheapest. A::i in the matter of adulteration of this important article of food there is a weighty ccnsideraticn beyond that of economy. The more good, pure cotfee there is obtainable the less will be the demand tor spiritaoas liquors, for even the veriest toper will often choose the former in preference to the l%\Xet.â€" Boston Herald. The Bashfalnaw of omce. A touriat stopped in front of a " shack " house, over the door of which a prominent Kinsan was nailing a sign, bearing thia legend : " I am a candydate for the ofia of sherf." " That is very anlika the way we do in the East," remarked the tourist. " There we believe, with the proverb, that the effice abould seek the man. and ' " Wal, " interrupted the prominent one, " that may do fer theEaat, wbar tbeof&cea hain't ao darned bashful; but, out thia way, if you expect tbe ofiice to rids up to yotir place, an', whirlin the looae uv ita laaso three times roand ita head, drag you outer your house an' oif to the couuty seat, I'm afeard that grim diaappciutmeui will ba your portion. " â€" Puc*. specidc in auch caaea, and haa 'brightened the lives of countless women by restoring them to perfect health. Lack. First Tranjp -Some folks ia bom lacky. Bem'ber Bill s'oaks .' Second trampâ€" Yep. First Trampâ€" He .jot into Swsipier'g brewery the other night an waa drowned in a beer vat. Don't bt* Hambairsrd with the foolish idea that Catarrh cannot oe cured : The world moves, and medical science is progressive. Ths proprietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy will pay 5500 reward for a case of Nasal Catarrh, no matter how bad or of bow long standing, which they cannot cure. liemedy sold by druggiata at only JO cents. Value of OhrUUam Heads. In the late war between tbe black liags of Tonquin and the French, the leader of tbe Chinese outlaws made a monetary estimate of the value of his enemies. He oifered his men a sum equivalent to 9123 for the head of every Frenchmen and S25 additional if the victim had gold braid on his coat. The fact that most orieutiala ex- preaa great contempt for native Christiana waa illastrated in tbia black dag proclama- tion, which offered S.50 apiece for the heada of native soldiers ia the French service, but added tnat ^13 for the beads of native Catholics waa all they were worth. He Was Misunderstood. Jadge â€" yoa have abandoned yoar wife- Not only that, bat before you left yoa treated her in the most brutal manner, dragging her aroand the room by the hair of her head. Culprit â€" What a fass yoa all make be- causa I took a lock of my own wife's hair by which to remember her during my absence. At the Marrlace Agency. Woald-Be Customer- Yes, I would like to marry, and if you oome across a hand- some, young amiable girl who haa money and who wants a good home, jast drop me a postal. Marriage Brokerâ€" I be^ yoar pardon, but if I find that kind c>f a female I'm going to marry her mvKlf- SatUfACtlon GaaraBt««d. Summer Guest i impatiently)â€" I have found dead tliea in every diah I toaohed this morning, and I think yoa might at least make a redacticn in yoar charges. Hotel Proprietorâ€" 1 c.-ui't reduoe your bill, air ; bat if you will come with ma to tbe kitchen, I'll let ycu hear me awear at the servants. K.uowl«d|;e li» Blifts. Mrs. H. Arlem Flatte â€" I wanted to see that new play at the Downtown Theatrs to-night, but the critics say tbe play ia a failure, and the weather reports say it is going to rain. Mr. H. Arlem Flatte â€" Then let us go by all means. The play will be charming and the weather delightful. Poison the fountain and the stream ia impure ; poisoa tbe blood, and its taint ia carried throagh the entire system those ionun'.erable veins and arteries carry dis- ease and death instead of life and vitality. As a result, vou have Headache, Scrofula, Dyspepsia. Kidney Disease, Liver Com- plaint and General Debility, An inactivs Liver means poisoned blood : Constipation means poiaoned blood : Kidney disorder meana poiaoned blood. The great antidote for impure blood i' Dr. Pierce'a Golden Medical Diaeovery. Acting directly upon the affected organa, restorea them to their normal condition. "A word to the wise ia sudicient." The 'Discovery " is juarcm- Ued to cure in all cases of disease for which it is rocommenaed, or money paid for it will be promptly refunded. The Same Thing. " I see. " said Smith, laying down hia paper. " that old man Skinliint has willed hia property toGroggins, the saloon -keeper," " How'a that ? I auppoeed that he left it all to his son, Harry." "Well, be did, but that was only an in- direct way of leaving it to Groggins.' Patient Waiting Mo Lou. Confiding Sonâ€" Mother, what's the best way to propose to a girl '7 Mother â€" When the right girl comes along, my son, you won't need any advice. â€"Geese at the north will commence to fly southward when the fall storms break ap tbe watering place society. The Kev. Dr. Menziee, minister of Aber- nyte, has, on the recommendation of the Secretary for Scotland, been appointed Professor of Divinity and Biblical Criti- cism of St. Mary's College, St. Andrews, in room of the late Professor Crombie. D U M L. 41 8»' The ShortcoittlB(sof Jonrnalliiik. " These papers are very onaatifaetory.'' " What's the matter now 1 " "Why, it tells here of a man who fell from the top of the Eiffel tower, but doea't say whether he waa hart or not. We have the Patti corset, the Langtry gold paint and boatles, the Jadio hat, the Hading veil, and now we have the J<^haa Whitoomb cough ayrup. â€"Women are ever dapea or viotima ot theii extreme seogitivsaess. AGENTS MAKE $100 A MONTH with US. Send '300. for terms, Aoolored rug pattern and 50 colored deaigns, W. * » BUSH, St. Thomas, Ont. DUNN'S BAKING POWDER THE COOK'S BEST FWENO ..< £'

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