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THE UABK 8KCUKT AGAIN. Cupt. Auilrnwn aud His Little Dory l'u»li- Ing ArroHi th« Atliwtlc, A New York despktch B&ya : Captain Andrewa, wlio sailed from Boston, July Itb, in his little dory, the Dark Bi'oret, uii his iwrilous and adventurous voyiii;.j to Qaeeuatown, was seen Aug. lal by Jho people or. board the steamship India. c:»pt. Jameson, of the India, reporls that he spoke the Dark Secret on the mornint; of Auu. lat, abont xi'.l miles out from Bos- ton, ller position when last sem was a little to the southwest of the (jroat batiks and, as pleasant and ia\orable weather has prevailed since the India passed the dory, Capt. Jameson considers it moat probable that he has succeeded in psKsin^ this region of dangerous mist in perfect uafuty. The India is the third transatlantic steamer that lifts spoken the Dark Secret since elie started. ('aptain Jameson, when ho arrived yoa- tfrday, i^ave a }l'vrld reporter the followiiij; Rrnphic account of his pasaini,' Captain Ar.iirewj and his little stanch craft : •It was." he sail!, â-  about 7.:tO on the morniii:; of Aujjuat 1. The previous ni>;hl had bein very stormy, bat when the morn- ing; dawned it be^»n to clear, and the sun slowly crept through the vapory mists. All was '(i:;el and placid, the sun shining; brightly on a smooth and almost un rut* led sea. when Second Ollioer Keun, who was in char;;e of the bridge, directed my atten- tion to what he thoii;!ht was a small ship s boat some distance oil on our starboard side. I slowed down and waited the boat's approach. As the little latten-rigged boat, its mutton let; Hliaped sail closely reefed, came skimming aloni;, mounting the bil- lows. I boon (lerceived that the lonely occn- pant w«4 not a shipwrecked mariner and that lie did nnt wish anyassistanoe. Wrap- ped in his oilcl'.th suit,holdin(i the tiller of his little dory, the sole occupant of the b^iat, hia eyes brij^ht and cheerful, a ruddy, healthful- looking; l>low safTuuin^ his whole cduntenance, looked ' monarch of all he 8urve>cd.' •' When I hailed him ho replied : ' This is the liark Secret, Captain Andrews, from Bnaton to Quceiistown. I am well. 1 'lease report me when you arrive in New Vork.' I was astoniahed at his coura(;eand daring', and before I had time to say anything more the I)ark Secret and its bold com- mander was continuing on its long voyajje. Captaiu Andrews was in the beat of spirits, and, judging frotn hia looks and actioiis, has not suffered any hiirdshipa, although he is roaking but alow progress. He lias plenty of provisionsâ€" at least he did not wish any from me. Although I saw the captain but for a few minutea, I can tell hia fri'-nda that he is still atrom; enoiii^h to shave liiniatlf. He was perfectly clean of all beard and had the api>earanca of being shaved but a short time previous to our meeting him." IM.NINO WITH THK I.OKU MAYOK. I. OKI .^alNliury Hptialta i>r Irelanil. KbtiiI, liulcarlift auil l*vnc«. A London cable says : The Ministers v\'cre ban juotted by the Lord Mayor la«t evening. Replying to the usual toant. Lord Salisbury said the great curti of Ireland was poverty. The Oovernniet he said, was not able to ditiiiniah po\erty or to cnricli men, but they could enable muii. without interference, to enrich themselves. The Government had been successful in lesseniijg the tyranny which an aaaociatioii had eiercised over the Irish people, and had increased the sanctity of contractH. If the (io\ernment of Ireland, he dirlF»r»-d, was administered with the Hftuio /idg iijcnt and tirmness as now for u few years longer, the liberty and prouperity of the loiintry wouhl be restored. In lO^iyiit, Lord Salisbury said, the expectations of the <»overnment have been exceeded. When lOgypt should be able to deal with In r foes without help Creat Hritain would gladly li^ave that country absolutely. As to liulgaria, ho hoped that the atate-iinen of the Continent were huing convinced that it wonlJ b<! best to leave hor to horeelf. He believed that the Kmperor cf (lerinaiiy appreciated the value of peace, especially tu Germany. Nothing, he believed, was more desirable for the peai u of the world than that the policy of Kaaaia ahould beoome more parallid with the policy of (iroat Hritain. All that occurred in J'Jurope recently had been in the direction of peace, and Kngland'sefTorta were always II the samii direction. TBK BEU FLAG. Colllalooa With the Police ami Mlllhiry und Riotoun Uemonatratloaa at I'ltrli. A I'aria cable says : Fifteen thousand persona marched in front of the hearse bearing the remains of General Kudes, the ex-Communist. They wore bouijuets of red immortellea. M. iiasluy, member of the Chamber of Deputies, was present, and he and M.Roohefort were greeted with clieera and shouts of " Vive la llavolution " and " Vivo la Conimnne." Tho procession Ktarted at 11 o'clock. The pall- bearers were MU. N'aillant, Lefrancois, Arnold, members of tho Coinmuno of 1m71, and M. Ostyn. Louise Michel marched after the hearse. A brigade of police headed the procession. Large bodies of workmen and strikers followed (juielly. The waiters and hair- dressers in the line were noisy and demanded that tho red tlaga which were carried covered be unfurled. Tho crowd ailing the route shouted " Vivo la Com- mune " as the hearse passed. When the procession rcucbed the Doale- vard \ oltaire three red llagswere unfurled. A commissary of police attempted to seize one, when aonie one in the crowd tired a revolver at him, but the bullet went wide of its mark. Another commissary was beaten with sticks. M. Itochefort was set upon by an .Vnarchist, who handled him ']uite severely. Tho police seemed power- less before tho menacing attitade of the mob. The gendarmes made a charge in front of the I'rinco Kugone Barracks, strik- ing in every direction with tho butt ends of their muskets- They succeeded in releas- ing the police who had been aurroundcd by the mob, and captured the red llaga. When tho procession arrived at tho Mairie of tho Eleventh Arondissement a ruvolver was lired and a bomb thrown close to the police station, but tho bomb did not e-tplode. The police reserve left the station and charged upon tho crowd with drawn swords, wound- ing and taking into custody many persons- The procession continued on its way to the cemetery, but grew smaller as it progressed. A number of orations were delivered at the g:ave amid cries of "Vive la Commune," "Vive la Uevolution." Tho gathering then diB|>ersed. The police did not oppose the display of red tlsga in the cemetary. HRITAIN'8 NAVAL WAR. Tlte Situfltly ,Surprlite« h Cuuarder and CaptureN Her. A Loudon cable nays : Tho British wpisdron off liantry Bay and Queenstown harbor is cauaing much < xciteiiu-nt. 'I ho fast cruiser Sandtly, S.^SS tons burden and 300 horse-power, belonging to th- British Bquadron, which escaped from Ilrtntry lUy to this harbor, proceeded to sea yesterday morning, and after capturing two steamers, Righted the Ciinarder Hamariafrom Boston with 107 paanciigera aboard, atxjiit four miles southwest of the harbor. Im- mediately the Sandfly daahtd at full speed at the liner, steaming at the rate of Jl miles an hour. Attacking the liner, she firtd at her repeatedly, and at length auc- cetded m otptiiring the steainnhip after a hard engageiiieiit, oausing great excitement among ttje paasengera of the liner, who knew nothing of the naval niohiliiiation- The Allan liner ('aspiaii. from Liverpool, (71 ri)u(c to St. .John's, with 'JOO passengers, was also captured of the jiorl, after which tho Bandtly returned into harbor, and is now making preparations for the capture of tho Britannir and Nevada, both due off the coast to- morrow from Now Y'ork. A FIKMDISH A88ACL,T. Ilrutal Villains Horribly Matllat« an Old Woman Whom They Bated. A New York despatch says : A case in which the most liendish brutality is c.\. hibited was unearthed by Detective C. A. Oliver, of New Brunswick, N. J., at Sjuth Amboy yesterday. The detective was engaged in picking up clews in the GriHin murder case, when he incidentally learned of a horrible assault having been committed upon an old Polish woman, Rosella Wysooka, by George Gra- bosh and Abraham Snyder, in a disreputa- ble quarter of the old town. He found the apartment of the woman, where a horrify- ing spectacle met his gaze. The woman lay upon a ragged pallet breathing faintly. liendiog over he was startled upon beholding that her lips had been torn from her mouth, and that the toeth of both jaws were visible where thu cheeks had been torn in a horrible manner. Her gray hair was matted with blood, and several gory wounds appeared in the skull. She was unconscious. From the I'^les living in the neighborhood a reporter learned the story of the crime. Some days ago Mrs. Wysooks, who is a widow 30 years old, incurred the enmity of Grabosh and Snyder, the latter being her stepson. On Monday, while tha oldw^^ia was alone, these men entered the diaing apartment with the evident intention of murdering her. Grabosh seized a ham- mer and beat her over the head, while the brutal stepson fastened his teeth to her lips, biting off one at a time, and ejecting them upon the lloor, where they were suhsenuently found lying beside the blood-stainud hammer. .\lthough the outrage was known at South Amboy within half an hour of its occur- rence, there was not a physician who would volunteer to go to the victim's aid. The county physician, who lives at Milltown, a suburban village of New Brunswick, took the case in charge, and found her iu almost a dying condition. He said last night that she might recover with careful nursing, although it was not probable. After a search Dectetive Oliver succeeded in capturing tho tiends who committeil the outrage. They were handcufTed and taken to New Drunawick, and finally committed for trial. When the full details pf the crime were known at South Amboy there was some talk of lynching the brutes, bat they were then far out of the reach of an angry mob which bad clustered about the house of the unfortunate woman. I.ITKV KXOURSI()N|.STrt. nd Tli*^ <ircat I. one Ijtnd. A Winnipeg despatch says: Private iid- vioeH received In the city today from Kdmonloii, N. W. T., state that James llyslop and L. Nagle, who wintered on the Athabaska Kiver about :iO miles bouth of i^hipewayan, arrived at the Landing im July l;ith. Lord Lonsdale was at Cliipe- wayan on May '2^nd, goin" north. Last winter was very severe at Lake .\iiiiibaf Ka, Htormy and cold, at times forty below, v^'ith H hurricane blowing. On account of the severe weather the Indians were irei|ueiitly unable to hunt, and asrabbita wore riimark. ably aoarri they suffered greatly from bun ytir. Nineteen out of one camp of Iwent > three Irnlians died of Btarviition at a point about four days' travel norlheaHt of Chipewayan. The Hudson Kay Company sent out provisions tu tho camp and br'inght in the survivors. About iifty Indians, tn far as heard, starved to death in Ihia district last winter. 'J wo wood bultalo were killed at alxiut sixty miles off (jhipowayan. 'I'ho band out cf whnh they were Killed nnrnbereil abont ' ixty. Buffalns are also found on the Lirch Mountains, west of Fort MaAInrray. on Halt Itivor and near the Great Slave ijako. The beaver are reported to be dying off in great nunibers in the region fi om Fort McMurray southwnnl, from causes nnt given. ('. I'. It. surveyors are in the vicinity of Jiattleforil, spying out the land. It is not known what ttudr iiitenliomi arc, Imt it is generally thought llio company intinds hoilding a branch from the mainline to the North Saakatchewaii. A MIehlKKU CenlrHl Train n'rerfcetl Nnbofljr Hurl.. A Detroit despatch says : About 12 o'clock yesterday a train of nine cars from Columbus, Ohio, bringing about t.'>0 ex- cursionists to Detroit, jumped the track, about 20 miles from the depot. It iu thought a loose rail was the cause. The engine wont ulT, taking with it the tonder and thr.u or four cars. Thclirst, a baggage, was turned on its side in thu ditch. The next, u passenger coach tilled with people, was completely upset. The end and plat- forni were smaaliod, but luckily not a soul waa seriously htirl- Several were scratched considerably ami all thoroughly snared. Those in the rear cars were ijuite badly ahaken u|i. It is a strange thing that there was not a terrible loss of life, as tho train was well under way and every car wsfl Hllod with people. Those in tho hrat coach were piled in a promiscuous heap. Word was sent to Detroit from tho iiearoat station and a train sent tohring tho passen- gera up, after a delay of six or seven honra. The wrecking train ia at work at the scene of the auoident. â-  Hini:<^ I broke my funny bmo niy arm has lllled with humor," wrote a patient to hia doctor the other day. " How would you treat it '!" 'â-  As a joke," answered the dcK tor, faootioualy. I.oniliin has fewer inhabilantn to the houiie than any other of the great cities of J'luroiHi. Vienna has tho most persona to the houae, having live times as many as London. A Very Clever Trirk. A saloon-koopur tolls this story : A neat trie k was played on me the other day by an old toper. The old fellow brought in a black bottle and called for a .liiit of whis- key. I tilled tho bottlo and kept it while he went tliroiiub his poc.ki In for Ihochange. Presently he put on a look of dismay ami said he had lost his money. "All right," says 1, and, turning out tho whiokuy, gave liim the bottle, lie took it and went away, Haying ho would como back after the li.|Uor preaently. Ho ilid not come, howuvor, but live minutes latfir I found liim sitting on the stoop around the corner poking iii the bottle with n atiok, and after every poke turned out a thimbleful of whiskey int<i a cup. I seized the bottle and made an invoatigation. What do you think I foiind'i' Why, tho ohl raacal had forced a sponge as big as my list into it, and thin had soaked up a good glsHflful of my wliiakey when 1 lilleil the bottle. NoiiD<l llulea lor h Wuiuan'H l.lfe. A New llampahire woman, who recently celebtated her MOlh birthday, having pre- liarod every artinlo of food with her own hands, upon being asked .'low she kept her. uelf so vigorous, replied: " Hy never al- lowing inyHolf to fret over thingH I cannot help; by taking a nap, Hometiinoa two, every day of my life; by never taking my washing, ironing and baking to bed with me, and by oiling all the various wlmela of a busy life with an im[ilicit faith that tlmre ia a brain and heart to this great universe, and that I c;ould trust them both." Hoiinder rules could lint he frnmeil. Many a wo- man woiilil bo happier and live longer through adopting tlieiii.â€" /nii/ (.V. 1.) 'J'imei. IIKL'TK IIUHAN'S VICTI.M. The Itoehaway Iteaeli Suirerer Nearliiij; her Kiid-Perltuultix halt Set in. Mrs. Kate Bohan, of Fairview avenue, Uockaway Ucach.lies at her home hovering between life and death. Her bruta of a husband, William Hohan, who plucked both her eyes out, will be brought before Justice Hualy at Far Kockaway today. Mrs. Bohan, whois suffering iLteuse agony, is under the treatment of Dr. I'hilleo, who said yesterday that peritonitis had set in, and that he was afraid it would sooo reach the brain and cause death. On the strength of this statement Cronin took tho poor creature's ante-mortem state mont, which is horrifying in its details. She said she was married to Wm. Iluhan, her second husband, on December '.Uh, 1hh:<. Ho time and again assaulted her, and two years ago plucked out hor right eye. When she returned from the hospital ahu wore s|)ectacles, but her husband used lo hide and break them. He fre.|uontly thteatuned to kill bur. On July :iOth he sncceeiled in gouging out herromaining eye. " I thiok it was with his thumb, I am not sure." " I screamed," continued Mrs. Bohan, " and the cook came in and took my grand- child, who was in my arms. Thou I felt Homething on my check and I could not see. I asked tho cook what was on my faoe, and she said blood. Then 1 said, ' My eye is gone.' Then I felt my eye lying on my chrek. I was in such a con- dition 1 don't know whether my husband said anything or not. I think 1 felt some- thing touch my eye when he put his hand on my face." The attention of the Grand Jury, which meets in September next, will be called to the case. Justice Uealy to-day will un- doubtedly hold Hohan to await tho action of tho Grand Jury.â€" N. Y. Herald. A temporaneo advocate says: " Avoid alcoholic drinks and be cool," BVPNOTIO HALLUCINATION. The Keaiilt of un AII-AbHorblliy Rvpecta- tlon. One of Charcot'a disciples in Franco, Dr. Luya, writes W. A. CrolTut in the " North Aineriian " for August, has experi inunted with nieilicimis with hipnotic patients, and has cau'eil nundi e.\citenient by his proclamation that medicines would operate without being administered at all. llu duelares that a corked vial of laudanum laid upon a patient's neck induced sleep, although tho patient did not know what it was; that a vial of valerian, similarly brought ill contact with tho person, was followed by deep dejection ; that hasheesh caused hilarity and buoyancy, <^to. I have repeatcil these experiments, but do not ohlaiii any of the allegtHi results. If the rnsponsivo does not know what is said to be in the vial, no result whatever follows ; and if he knows or believes some particular modiuine to be in the vial, and knows the effects which follow tho use of that nifldicino, he will have those external symptoms, whether that medicine he actually there ( r not. llypnotio ballucina- tioiiH are the result of an all absorbing expectation. If the responsive thinks he is drinking too much whiskey, ho will beoonui lielpleHsly inubriated ; if he thinks he is at sea in a Mtoriii, ho will be aftlictod with violent nausea, enough to cimvince any sceptic of tho gonuineness of the emotion ; if he thinks he has swallowed laudanum, he will fall into a sleep. How far Huh delusion will go in physical repairing or impairing I do not know, hut 1 should not like to give a gum drop to the most iioiihi- tive of inesmuri/ed ladies, and afterward tell hor that aha had swallowed stryohnino -J â€" -â€" â€" . 4^ Miss Frances Wotmore, who has been appointed Governiiieiit I'hyHioian for tho Island of Ililo, makes her visits on horso- baek and answers every call. l.lueon \ icloria has invested in an Italian villa, having piirohasud the villa I'almioro, at l''lorenco, which she onoe occupied, pay- ing for tho property JtJ 1,000. THK CORPSE RAN AWAT. Henry Graham's Great Act In Runnlnc Away After Havlnc Ueen Hanfed. That the bodies of the dead, even a Ion time after the moment of death, do perform actians which have all the appearance of volition are instances familiar in literature. Physiciana, it is true, assure na that in these movements volition does not enter ; and they have given to this muscular movement the name of " retlex action," and this, apparently, we are expected to accept as a perfectly lucid explanation of a phenomenon which without the name would be obscure. Enlightened by the term " retlex action," it must be dis- contented and exacting cariosity that would not rest and be thankful. At Uawley's Bar, a mining camp near Virginia City, M. T., a gambler named Henry Graham, but commonly known as " Gray Hank," met a miner named Drey- fusa one day, with whom he had had a dispute the previous night about a pack of cards, and asked him into a bar-room to have a drink. The unfortunate miner taking this as an overture of peace gladly consented. They stood at the counter, and while Dreyfusa waa in the act of drinking, Graham shot him dead. This waa in 180.5. Within an hoar after the murder Graham was in tho hands of the vigilantes, and that evening at sunset, after a fair, if informal trial, he was hanged to a limb of a tree which grew upon a little eminence within sight of the whole camp. The original intention had been to string him up," as is customary in such affairs, and with a view to that operation the long rope had been thrown over the limb, while a dozen pair of hands were ready to buijt away. For some reason the plan was abandoned, the rope was given a single turn about the limb at a suitable distance from the noose, the free end made fast to a bush and the victim compelled to stand on a horse, which at the cut of a whip sprang from under him, leaving him swinging. When steadied his feet were aboat eighteen inches from the earth. The body remained suspended for exactly half an hour, the greater part of the crowd remaining about it. Then the judge ordered it taken down. The rope waa untied from the bash, and two men atood by to lower away. The moment the feet came squarely upon the ground the men engaged in lower- ing, thinking, doubtless, that those standing about the body had hold of it to support it let go of the rope. The body at once ran quickly forward toward the main part of the crowd, the rope paying out as it went. The head rolled from side to aide, the eyea and tongue protruding. With cries of horror the crowd ran hither and thither, scrambling, rolling over one another, curs- ing- In and out among them, over the fallen, coming in collision with othera, his direction governed by blind caprice, the horrible dead man 'pranced,' his foot lifted so high at each step that hia knoes struck his breast. The deepening twilight added its terror to the ancaiiny scene, and brave men tied from the spot, not daring to look behind. Straight into the confusion from the outskirts of the crowd walked with rapid steps the tall figure of a man whom all re- cognized as a master spirit. This waa Dr. Arnold Spier, who, with two other phyai- cians, had pronounced tho man dead, and had been retiring from the camp. He moved at directly toward the dead man as the now somewhat less erratic movements of tho latter would permit, and aeized him in his arms. Knoouraged by this, a score of man s^irang shouting to the free end of the rope, which had been drawn entirely over the limb, and laid hold of it, intending to make a I'lnish of their work. They ran with it toward the bush to which it had been fastened, but there was ns resistance; the physician had out it from the dead murderer's neck. In a moment the body was lying on itsjback, with composed limbs and faoe upturned to the kindling stars in the motionless rigidity appropriate to death. The hanging had been done well enough ; the neck had been broken by the drop. Dr. Spier knew that a corpse which, place<l upon its feet, would walk and run, would lie atill when placed ujiou ita ba^k. Thi> dead are creaturea of habit. â€" .Sun Frtinchco Ijaminfr. HOW ITRBAKS ARK MADK. Drop In a Nickel and Then Talk. Glasgow has a system of automatic telephone call boxes. There are seventy. live of the boxes scattered throughout the city, and every subscriber has a key to them. A iioiiaubscriber wanting to use them must first ring up tho exchange and ask if the connection lie desires can be maile. If it can ho drops the fee, which is cither three pennies or six, according to the distano^ he wants to talk, into a hole iu the 'oux. The pennies as they fall break a circuit antl ring a boll at the central ollico. When the bell has rung the required numbor of times tho central olVico marks the connection. At tho end of throo minutea allowed for con- versation tho connection is broken auto- matically. The average time to put two porsous in telephonic commimication in Glasgow ia .15 seconds ; iu llirmingham, 40 ; in Liverpool, a,), and in Dundee, 'JO. This was aacortained from tho results of 10 calls in uaoh town. Bhe llltea Her Finger Nnlla. The wife of a very well. known iron operator of Pennsylvania is now stopping at a fashionable hotel near Long liranch, nays a correspondent of tho New Vork Sun. She ia beautiful, witty and accomplished, but she bites her finger nails. She says she cannot help it. She acquired the habit in chililhood, and has tried every means to break it up, but without success. At times she succeods in resisting the inclination until all her finger nails are triumphantly long, but invariably they disappear as if by magic the first time she is disturhod, an- noyed, or^ rendered norvoua. She does not know when she bites them. She suddenly finds tl.em all gone. Her doctors tell her the habit is incurable e.vcopt for very strong- willed, phlegmatto persons. This is tho time of) the jear that a woman packs her husband's coat, contain- ing the book of tour tickets, in the bottom of the trunk that starti jait ahead of them. It ia announced that tho I'.mporor of Germany, the Czar of Uussia and tho lOm- peror of Austria will moot at some point ou the Austrian frontier iu the autumn. Uannfactured by Wholesale from VarioiM Commonplace Haterlals. " Did yon know that the finest artist ia the world in the manufacture of freaks and curiosities is an Alaskan?" asked an expert in the show business of a New York Graphic reporter. " It's a fact. I waa surprised myself, for I always aupposed that he would be a Yankee. He was away when we called, but his assistant was there. They were making Egyptian mummiaa that day, a full line of them for a museum in Paris. They are made of plaster of Paris and boiled in tobacco juice, and they are stunners when they are done. It is a carious yarn bow the reporters got ou to his place. He occupies a place under the roof and driea his carioaitiea on the flat roof in the sun. The elevated railroad pushes along over the city here, and soma travellers by the morning train saw a curious sight out on one of the roofs. It looked like a collection of dead bodies dry- ing in the sun, and a conglomeration of hideoas monstrosities and blood-cardling freaks of nature. Of coarse somebody in- vestigated it, and as a result the birthplace of the freak waa found. " I wish I could give you that Alaskan'a name, but I can't. It's a stunner iu lengtli, and he is an artist of as distinguished talenta as his name ia long. He made the man-ox that struck the professors of anatomy every- where. He drew the skin over the ribs ao adroitly that there seemed tu be absolutely no fault iu it, and it puzzled the scientists as well as the common people. There are two or three other freakmakers in the Bowery that we called on, but there are iio others that approach this fellow. He ia a jim-dandy, and no mistake. A mermaid ia nothing at all for him. He can draw a chicken's skin over the skeleton as handily as you can draw ou your glove, and do man can swear that it is artificial." "Are none of these freaks genuine?" " Mighty few that I know anything aboat are very genuine. Most of this man-ox. man-horse, mermaid, sea serpent, Egyptian mummy, royal anatomical marine museum stuff is manufactured. Of course, there are some freaks of nature in the way of mon- strosities that are gouuiue. The India rub- ber man is a freak of nature, and I was in to see tho centaur of a man-horse at the dime museum. That'sgenuine if you like it. It's a coon with hia legs twisted out of shape. The poor cuss was marked in birth, and can't walk upright â€" a dead give-away of a fake that dou't excite any particular inter- est. 'Australian children' are idiots. Circassian women can be made with ease and celerity. Bearded women can be found anywhere. The oouutry is full of Albions, and if it were not, they can be manufactured to order any time. "Do you remember that sea serpent that we exhibited at the State fair a year or two ago ? It wa;i 'JO or 30 feet long, and was the .jueerest looking thing I ever saw. It had big chunks of bono ou the side of it, and had a mouth big enough lo take in a loug boat. Well, this Alaskau made that. How did he make it ? lilamed if I know. He's ahead ot me on that. It was a good job. He made a sea aerpent lately for Ur. Dee, and I ran across it at K.\eter. One of the profeasors at Phillips' Academy went iu and looked it over. He said he had doubts about its being goni^ine. " Ha : ha I Well, 1 don't blame him. I had my doubts, too, but they were based oil a different foandatiun â€" the difference between theory and fact, you see. The doctor had a mighty good lecture to |*o with his museum. He had one or two mermaids, and one of them he considered a particularly valuable specimen. Ue never failed iu tho course of his address to relate that this was (lositively the only mermaid ever captured alive. He said that she seemed tu mourn for her home at the bottom of the sea, aud to continually utter plaintive cries, aud sung iu a mournfal heart-breaking key. They fed her every- thing in the liueof fresh tlsh, but she pined away and died, and thus ended tho exist- ence of the only mermaid ever captured alive. " The doctor had a bang up show on the outside. Ilia pictures were very gorgeous and true to fact. In front of his mermaid he had a large patch of green grass aud the green waves curling up. " One day an old chap, with his town meeting hat on the orowu of his head clear to his ears, came up and looked at tbe mermaid as she Ihittereil in canvas true to the picture of her homo beneath the wave. " As he gazed at her iu rapt suspense and noticed that she was the only specimen ever captured alive, he looked up to the orator at the door aud said, â-  Say, mister, what do you feed hor ou ? ' " There may have been truth as well as poetry iii tho reply of tho doctor as ha looked down and said : ' My dear sir, wa feed her entirely on suckers. She has to have something very fresh.' " By tho way, you may quoto mermaids this season as very cheapâ€" anywhere from 'ii> to iii. 'â-  I notice that our friends are from the suburbs today, getting their systems charged with electricity. Well, it's a good {xiint. It won't hurt 'em any if they dont work the racket too strongly. This plungin^g at thu electric battery to see how muob you can stand don't pay for a cent." "They 8kun." Tho story tho other day about the pioaa little boy who tried to walk on tho water in tho bathtub recalls another of an eijually pious little girl. She was eight years olcf, and lived iu tho country ; she had started one day rather late for school with another little girl about her own ago. Ou their way they caught a glimpse of a clock dial through an open door; it lacked five min- utes of II. "Oh, dear I" oxolaimod the pious little girl, " it's live minutes lo 11, and we'll be lata tu school." " I'm afraid wo will." " Jennie," said the pious little girl, im- pressively, " I'll tell you what wo must do; we'll Kneel right down here and pray that we won't bo late!" "II'm!"8aid the other, " I guess that we'd belter skin right along and pray as we go!" They " skan," and got ibere.â€"Ilo$ton Traiuiript. « I " Did you over go to the circus, Jim '?' asked one small urchin of another. " Not a real circus," said Jim, reflectively, "but I've seen my mother water tho garden with I the hoae." â€" HamervilU Journal,