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"THE NATION'S OUT^SE." By Archdeacon Farrar. The Venerable Archdeacon Farrar.iD.D., preached in Westminster Abbey last month in connection with the 2l8t anniversary of the Church of England Temperance Society. He took for his text â€" " Behold 1 set before you a blessing and a curbe."â€" Deuteronomy Xi. 2G, The preacher said : " It is with deliberate purpose that I mean the sermon this even- ing to be almost exclusively a plain state- ment of plain facts. I wish it to be an appeal, not to the imagination, not to the emotions, but to reason, to the sense of duty, to the conscience of Christians in a Christian land. If I say one word that is not true, I am guilty ; if I consciously «xaggerate a single argi ment, I am morally responsible ; if I do so from ignorance, or mistaken evidence, I liail any [mssible refutation of what I urge as a service to the eacred cause of truth. But if the facts be facts, indisputable, and for the most part even undisputed, and then if they do not speak to you for themselves, I know nothing else that can or will. If they do not carrv with them their own fire ; if they do not plead with you, clear as a voico from Sinai, ui their barest and briefest reality, and spur you to seek redress â€" If nut the face of nicu, The suSrofje uf uur houI'ii, and time's itbUM'. If thesii l)u motives weak, break off betimes, And every \aAii home tu hin idle bed. Those who plead for temperance reform are daily charged with exaggeration. Kxag- geration is never ri^jlit, never wise, even when moral indignation renders it exous- ablo; but before you repeat that hackneyed and irrelevant cliarge, remember that there never was prophet or reformer yet, since time began, against whom the same charee has not been niade. Vfe have no need to ex- aggerate ; our cause is overwhelmingly strong in its moral appeal to unvarnished realities, and we have nothing to do but to set forth things as they are, till not only the serious and the earnest, but even thie comfortable, even the callous, yea, even the careless and the selfish, unless they arc content to forego altogether the name of patriot and the name of Christ, shall be compelled to note them for very shame." The Archdeacon then quoted statistics, proving the criminal waste of the nation's resources involved in the drink traffic. He eloquently dealt with the physical and moral degradation which was the direct re- sult of the traffic, and continued : " Nor is this all. The curse does not stay with him who caused it. It spreads in concentric circles of ruin. The drunkard almost invariably drags down his wife and family into the lurid whirlpool of his own retribution. Go to some public house on Saturday night, between 10 and 12, when the miserable workingman is pouring into the till of the publican and the purse of the gin distiller the mouey which should clothe and feed his wife and little ones ; see when the gin palaces in our most pauperized dis- tricts are cleared at night a scene which for vileness cannot be paralleled in any region of the world. Then follow the drunken man or drunken woman into the lair which they call their home. Home 7 it is a Uantcan hell of brutality and squalor, of which the very air reeks with abomination ! ' In former times the wil^ was usually the victim of her husband's brutislmcsH ; now she becomes in innnmer- ablc cases the partner in his sin. In either case, be she victim or associate, no creature on earth so demands our pity.' While threats and blows resound in that curse- laden air the children â€" the ragged, mis- erable, half-starved, degraded children â€" the children who will grow up hereafter to recruit the ranks of the felon and the harlot, huddle together in mute terror. ' They do not cry ; such children seldom do shed tears. Nature could never furnish a fountain to meet such demands.' Often they make their escape into cellar or chimney, or hide th'-niselves under the rotting heap of rags or straw, and do not ventnre to creep out, half suffocated, till the drink-maddened (lend whom they call ' father,' is away, or till he has slept off for a time the vitriol madness. And in most of our large towns there are whole streets and alleys and districts of such drnndards' homes â€" infamous streets which hide hundreds of blighted families, the dis- grace of our civilization, and the disgrace of our Christianity ; the only things which flourish there are public-houses, which, confronting the minimum of virtue with the maximum of temptation, drain from the wretched neighborhood its last life, and, like the fungus on the decaying tree, feed on the ruin which is their boon. We have heard much in these few days of * Horrible London,' and of the bitter cry of its abject. What makes these slums so horrible ?" I answer, with the certainty and the confidence of one who knows, Drink ! And what is the remedy? I tell you that every remedy you attempt will Iw a miserable failure ; I tell the nation, with the conviction founded on experience, 'hat there will be no remedy till you save these outcasts from the tempta- tions of drink. Leave the drink, and you might build palaces for them in vain. Leave the drink, and before a year was over your palaces would still reek with dirt and stjualor, with infamy and crime. Of the trade in general which ministers to this temptation I will say nothing; but at least in such vile streets as tliuso whence, day and night, this bitter cry of abject cities rings in the ears of the Lord God of Sabbaoth, I should have thought that any nian who believes in God, that any man who calls himself a Christian, would liavc been not ashamed only but afraid to swell those geysers of curse and ruin. In such districts, at any rate, I know not how they can be blind to the evil.-i which spring from What they sell, ">r how they can fail to hear the stern words ringing in their earst l'"ve, sirrah The evil tlmt tlimi caH»o«t to be done, Thtit is thy means to live! They who will not see this must he left to their own conscience, in that hour when she spoaks and wo can bo dead no longer to her voice ; but I ask every man con- corned in such evils, which is best ? which will they think best when, a few years hence, they face the hour of death and tho day of judgment, to forego such tainted gains, or to go on contributing â€" inovitftbly contributing to tlie wholesale manufacture of infancy lli;it knows no innocence; of youth, without nioileaty or shame; of maturity that \h mature in nothing but guilt and suffering ; of blasted old age which is a scandal on the name we bear?" After (|uoting the opinions of various judges, and referring to tho terrible record of murders and misdemeanors appearing in the newspapers, and known to be the direct result of the traffic, the Archdeacon, in conclusion, said : " Knglishmen and Christians, if such facts do not cheer you up, I ask, co-dd they do so even were they in the thu.ider'8 mouth '/ It is not in the thunder, it is by the still small voice of history and of ex- |>erience that God speaks to the reason and to the conscience. It is not by tho lightning-flash that He would have us read His will, but by the quiet light that shows all things in the slow history of their ripening. When Ho s^ieaks in the thunder and the lightning, by tho tornado and the earthquake. He speaks in retribution then. And what is retribution but the eternal law of consequences ? If you cannot see God's warnings against drink, if you can- not read in the existing condition of ihings His displeasure and our shame, if you cannot see it in the marriage-tie broken and dialbonorcd, in sons and daughters ruined, in the -peace of families laid waste, in the work of the Church hindered, in whole districts blighted, in thousands and ten3 of thousands of souls destroyed, if you cannot see it in the records of crime, and murder, and outrage, and madness, and suicide ; in the fathers who in their very mouths, through drink, have slain their sons ; and the sons who, through drink, have slain their fathers ; and the mothers who, for drink, have sacrificed the lives of their iittlo ones upon the breast â€" men of ''England, if these things do not wring your heart and fire your /xjal, what do you expect '! Can tho letters glare more plainly or. the palace wall of youi (xiwer '.' Arc you waiting till there falls on Kngland the same fate which, for their sins, has fallen in turn on Assyria, and Greece, and Home, and Egypt, and Carthage, and Jeru- salem, and Tyre? They perished ; sooner or later all guilty nations perish by sudden catastrophe, or by slow decay. The Bword of heaven is not in baat«> to tmite. Nor yet doth linger ; but when it does smite, it is apt to smite once aud smite no more. Will you be so complacent over your epigrams, and your vested interests and your ISiblical criticism when vengeance leaps at last upon the stage and strikes sore strokes, and pity shall no longer avert the blow ? You are Christians ; yes, but see that you have not been admitted into a holier sanctuary only to commit a deeiier sacrilege! Why, had you been Pagans, these very same arguments ought to be irresistible to you ! To millions of Pagans they have been so. The sobriety of China was duo to Confucius. The sobriety of India and of Burmah are due to Buddha. I am horrified to read that in contact with us in the last thrcee years the sale of drink in India has increased 'Mi |i«r •3nt, in Burmah 74 per cent. The solrijty of vast regions of Asia and Africa was due to Mahumet. In the day of judgment, shall not Confucians, shall not 15uddhists, shall not Moham- medans, rise up in judgment against this generation aud condemn it, for they abstained from strong drink at tho bidding of Confucius, Budda and Mahomet, and behold a Greater than these is here ? Ah, if the voico of all these tempted, suffering, pvrishing, misetable aooia b* nothing to you â€" if the voice of your country be nothing to you â€"yet, if you be Christians, listen to the voice of Christ, pleading with you in the pathetic accents of myriads of the little ones that it is not His will, that it is utterly against Hi'i will that His cross and passion be thus rendered of none effect for multitndes, for the very least of whom Christ died. ' If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those who are ready to l>e slain ; if thou sayest. Behold, wo know it not (when, now, at any rate, you have no excuse for not knowing it), doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it ? and he that keepcth thy soul, doth not he know it ? And shall not ho render to every man according to his work ?' " The Tell-Tale Tftlephone. " C'harlie, you were kept late at tho office last night, weren't you?" "Yes, darling." "Just as you were on Thursday and Friday ovenuigs?" "Yes, dear." "You were in tho office all the time?" " Yes, dear." " You were in the office all the time?" " And very busy." "Charlie, is your telephone in order? " " Ye8,Iove." "Well, it is queer, don't you think? I went to tho telephone in the drug store next door these last three evenings and tried to ring you up every half hour. The druggist said you couldn't have been in your office." â€" I'hiladelphia Call. Whlatler and Wilde. A Boston artist tellsthisstory of Whistler and Oscar Wilde, who has the reputation of borrowing Whistler's bright speoches. Having heard tho artist sav an unnsally good thing, Oscar exclaimM, deploringly, " I wish I could have said that." " Oh," replied Whistler, derisively, " but you know you will say it." ^. â€" _ â€" . . The llenefltfl ofTravpl. A Nashville astronomer has discovered a comet with three tails. Wo remember Nashville as a place where even tho news- paper follows each had a demijohn of whiskey by the side of his desk. â€" lAtwell Citizen. HIh Fooketbook FeelH That Way. Many an ardent lover who said proudly at tho alter, " With all my worldly goods I thee endow," thinks he has done it when ho has paid his young bride's first millinery bill. â€" Cambridije Chrutiicle. A man will bear the gout, and yet he won't allow a fly to tickle hisaiio. The need of money causen some people to throw propriety and gentility to the winds. â€" Mistress â€" "GockI gracious 1 Why, Ba- hctte, what have you been doing with this chair?" Hervant maid â€" " You sec, ma'am, tho cat kept going on it and tearing the plush ; so I spread some mustard on tho seat, and now she lets it a-be." Miss Bertha Weymouth, Saco, Me. filled a big jug with water, corked it, an put it on tho stove to heat boforo taking i to bed. When it was hot enough she 8tftrtc<l up stairs, and then, with a big bang, the cork Hew out, and the hot water Hpurtc(i into her face, scalding her Imdly. Hhe now knows more about the power of steam than she did. MR. AND MEb. BOWSER. BY Hits. BOWSEB. The otL?r night v'heu Mr. Bowser came home to supper I was lying down with a dreadful headache. I have headathes oc- casionally. 1 wouldn't have thefti if I could help it, but I can't. Once in a while I have a chill, but it'suothmg I'm to blame for. " Sick, eh ?" growled Mr Bowser as he entered the bed-room. ' Got a hoadaohe." ' That's always the way of it ! I wish I could remember one single well day which has passed over your head since we were married !" " I'm always well." " Oh, you are ! Well, I must be bl d not to have discovered the fact ! I wan d you to go to tho theatre tonight." " I â€" I guess I can ^o." '• Well, I guess you can't ! Mrs. Bowser, it does seem tjueer that whenever I have any aixjcial entertainment mapped out you invariably bust it with a headache, palpita- tion of the heart, torpid liver or some other ailment. It must be the grossest careless- ness on your part. Have you had a doctor to-day ? " "Why, no!" " Well, we'll have one I I'm going to know what ails you, if I have to call half the doctors in town ! 1 want to know whether I've married a woman or a bundle of drugs." " You may be ill some day, Mr. Bowser." " Bosh ! I've got the strength of mind to throw oiT even * case of small{>ox. The Bowser famdy never made fools of them- selves by being upset at every chan^je of the weather." Tho doctor came up and prescribed a dover's powder, and he tbought I needed a tonic of some sort. Bowwr was grouty all the evening, and when he went to bod he sniffed and snuffed and muttered : "Oh, excuse me! I thought foramooient that I was in Harper's Uospitall" Two mornings after that Bowser woke me up an hour earlier than usual. His face was very jmle, his teeth chattere<l, ami I saw at once that ho had a chill. He had been looking yellow around the eyes for three or four days, and it was evident that liis liver was out of order. " What isit? " I asked. " I believe I'm going to have a c-chill !" " Oh, pshaw ! Just exercise your will- power and throw it off." " Mrs. Bowser, I want you to telephone for a doctorâ€" twoâ€" three doctors, without delay ! I'm an awful sick man, without one chance in twenty of getting well !" '• Pooh ! uir. Bowser, I had all arrange- ments made to go over to the toboggan slide to-day, aud to hav- a progresiivu euchre party here to-night. It seems funny that you should fall sick and siwil all my pleasure !" "All rightâ€" go ahead anil abuse ine all you want to. When I am under the sod you'll think of these things." The family doctor came up after break- fast and prescribed (luinine and some other simple remedy, and advise<l Bowser to lie in bed through the day. The following was the programme of the forenoon : 1. 1 soak Mr. Bowser's feet. 'J. I prepare him three different kinds of gruals. 3. I send the baby orer to mother's, be- cause its cooing disturbs him. 4. I stop all the clamor in the hou'o at his rojuest. r>. I drive all the boys out of tho neigh borhood to soothe Mr. Bowser's nerves. (i. I shut the dog in the bam and drive the cat to the attic. 7. I make a list of his debtor* and cro<li- tor8, and look up the insurance |ia|>crs. At noon Mr. Bowser re«olve<l to get out of bed, and the amount of dinner he ate was positively astonishing. After dinner ho put on his slippers and dressing gown and asked : " Mrs. Bowser, do you suppose a cigar would hurt me?' " Pooh I" " There yon go ! Yon don't seem to un- derstand that I have l>con (tkngerously ill. and that a relapse would cause my death ! Mrs, Bowaer. I believe you secretly wished during the forenoon that I might die !" " Nonsense 1" " Well, your conduct is very suspicious, to say the least. In case of my (leath I believe yon'd marry again !" " I might." " You would, eh ? That's the kind of a perscm you are, is it?" •' But, Mr. Bowser, vou'vo been sick so much, you know, and you've turned tho house into a hospital so often " '• Who's sick?" " You are. I'd just like to remember the time when you had awell day. Mr. Bowser, it's an awful thing to chain a woman to an invalid husband." Then Bowser began to cry, and I bad to tuck him up in bed and put a hot Hatirnn to his feet, and tie a rag around his he»<l and make him some sage tea. Ho was all right next morning, and when I asketl him if it was safe for me to invite conq)aiiy for Friday night ho roared out : " Safe I Why not ?" " You may be ill, you know !" " And I may not, you know ! Mrs. Bowser, I want you to understand that the Bowser family â€" tho line I am iloscendiKl from â€" never give up until the very last." " But they recover wonderfully (juick." " They do, eh '.' And that's because of their strong will power. Mrs. Bowser, I'm 8ati8fic<l that I was snatched frntii the grave yesterday, and that by no help of yours. If I do not return homo for the next three doys you liavo only yourself to blame." But ho was back at noon, and he hasn't had another word to say about my lieail- aches. â€" Detroit Free I'rexn. â€" Bagley â€" "Susan, did you notice that item about tho man who killed himself because his wife never gave him a present?" Mrs. B.â€" "Yes, 1 noticed it. Well?" "Oh, nothing," "Oh, I see! Well, just pass over $10, anil you shall have tho best box of cigars that 8'J ran buy. ' â€" They had been fitting for a long time in silence. Suddenly sin- woke up from a reverie and said ; 'â-  It is an age of proKress after all, George." " Vaas," ho replied, after drawing tlie head of his cane out of his mouth ; " but what led you to make tho remark?" "Well, not much," sho gurgled; "but I saw in this evening's paper that yon can buy wcdding-ringR on instalnicuts." CURRENT TOPICS. AccoBDiNo to all accounts Port Hamilton, the most recent oaiuisition of the British in the China Seas, must be a somewh. t breezy sort of a place. The huts of the marines stationed there have to be secured by heavy chain cables jiassed right over the roof and fastened to the ground in order to prevent their being blown away. Tub new Lord Mayor of London has the reputation of being one of the uiuot cheery and genial magistrates in the metropolis. The other day, after he hail given judgment in the criminol libel case which had been brought against the editor of /'miWi by u well-known member of I'arlianient, he en- tertaine<l all tho parties concerned in tlie case, counsel, prosecutor and defendant, at a friendly luncheon at the Mansion House It is currently believed that a Dakota blizzard has no redeeming qualities. This is a mistake. " It is an ill wind which blows good to nobody. ' A young man of Emmons Comity, l/ak., recently called on a young woman, and a bli/.zard compelled him to stay three days. The girl's father sent for a minister and a wedding was the outcome. Dakota blizzards will hereafter have warm friends among the old maids of that unique Territory. Boston Herald: The operatives in the woollen and cotton mills of this country, who are paid by piece work us most of them aro, are paid less [kt cut or jki- yard, [ler pound, or whatever the terms of the payment may be, than the operatives who are employed in Knglish mills. In- stead of bringing in to them higher wages, the tariff secures to them, if onything, lower wageo than they arc paid in Ei'igland. That they receive more at the end of a week is due to the performance by them of a larger quantity of work. TiiF. almanac for 18h7 gives a few items of general interest : New Year's Day comes ou Saturday, St. Valentine's Day on Mon day, April Kixil Day on Friday, First of July on Friday, (Ihristmas on Sunday. Kaster Sunday will be on the lUthof April ; hciit begins March 2nil. There will hv four eclipseH, two of the sun and two of the moon. One, February Kth, visible as a partial eclipse in Canada. The others that occur, as follows, are not visible inCttiiaila: The annular eclipse- of the sun. February tird : August lllth, of the sun. An ingenious doctor, named Garre, living in Basle, Switzerland, has aci|uired much notoriety by collecting old txwts and shoes to study human character from the way in which they have been worn. (Jarlyle 8howe<l the philosophy thot could be ex- tracte«l from old clothes, but Dr. Garre confines himself to old boots. He calls hin discovery " Sc«ri)ology," n word hitherto unknown to lexicographers. Me furnishes an alphabet illustrating the characters of tho wearers of the boots or ah(M>s. Boots whereof the outside e<lge8 and toe-cajm are worn away prove the wearer capable of murder. Girls who wear a "four" shoe on a " six " foot should be avoided by matrimonially iiiclinol young men as a plague. Horatio Boss, the famous old Scottish sportsman who died the other day, was Nelson's god son, his father, Hercules Uo8« having been an old West Indian friend and frojucut correspondent of Nelson. On the !lth of June, IHOl. Nelson, then in Kiogo Hay, wrote to Mr. Hercules Uoas : "You do ine a great deal of honor in wishing me to stand godfather for your next child. I accept the duty with much pleasure, and lin[x) that tho future Horatio or u will be an addition of happiness to you ami Mrs, lioss ;" and on the TJthof Kepteniber, 1X01, he wrote from the Amazon, in the Downs: " 1 congratulate von most sincerely on the birth of a son an({ heir ; and from my heart I wish all the wealth and happiness you possess, and all the honors which have fallen to my lot, may bo tho young llora- tio'i .' LoHi) Salishcry apiioars to be having a gntxl deal of trouble with Ins co.nnial Governors. Only a few weeks ago the Legislature and principal inhabitants of Natal addresseil a petition to the Queen demanding tho recall of Sir Henry Have- look, the Governor and Couimaudor-in- Chief of the dependency, on tho ground that he is an altogether unfit iwrson »o hold so iin|>ortant an office. It is now an- nouncad that tho British (ioven'ment has been obligeil to susiicnd from his function Sir John Pope Hcnnessy, Governor of tho iin|>ortant colony of ihn Manritiun, who by hiHijuarrels with nm Lioutt.:iant- Governor, the notorious exlrish magistrate, Cliffurd Ijloyd, almost causc<i a revolution in that lovely island. The reasons which have inducc<l Lord Salisbury to take so uinisual a step ns tosusjwnd a (iovcrnor previous to his recall must be of exceptional >;ravity. \ SNOW storm in Paris is anything but as pleasant as one of our home zephyrs, so far as liorsetlesh is concerned. A despatch to the London Diiilij Seui says. "Saturday oveniiin, at about 5 o'clock, the snow began falling, and in a short time the streets and housetops were covered over with the flakes. In one moment the thoroughfaroK became so slippery that traffic waf stop|Hd, such horses as were abroad <udy Ixdng able to ndvaiu'c with cautious steps, and for the first time this year jK-oplo were abl â-  to cross the Place de rO|K'ra without se;iou« risk of being run over. Tho city street swce)H.TS s|)ent tho night strewing sand and chiefly salt over the iiioin streets, niul four- teen cartloads were thiown over the avenues leading up to tho Arch of Triumph." Tiictroublois that the asphalt in Paris is very slippery, coni|)08<Hl as it is of a burned stone that haH no catch for a horse's foot, ond innst bo reinforced with sand whenever snow or rain assoils tin' city. TuK Danes have a society quite {loculiar to themselves. It is known as " The Maiden Assurance Society." It aims to I>roviiic for a class â€" Ringic wonieii of well- to-do families. It shelters and cares for them, and , furnishes thoin with "pin- money." Its niethods are thuM dt Horihed : As Boon as the girl child is born to liim tho father eiirolU her name in ii certain association, and pays a certain sniii, and thereafter a fixed sum, to tho society. When she has reached the age of , we be lieve, '21, and is not married, she boronicM entitled to a lixed income and n suite of apartments in a largo building of the asso- ciation, with gardens and park about it, inhabited by other young or older ladies who have thus become members. If her father dies in her youth, and she desires it, sho has shelter in this building, and at • fixed time her own income. When she die* or marries all this riglit to income lapMe, ud the money paid in swells the endow- ment of the association. What Urllain Uo«s for EgTpt. An important and interesting White Book has just been issued containing the (jerman Foreign Office corrc8|)ondenc« re- specting the affairs of Kgypt for the year 1 MHO, up to Juno last. Tlio information ia valuable. es[>ecially now when people are beginning to be anxious to know a littla alx>ut what bos been going on in Egypt for the past six mouths. By far the most vital l>oint to bo considered is what good the natives of Egypt have derivetl and do derive from British occupation. The answer ia given by a memorundum of conversation with two native gentlemen, one a Moslem of gixjd standing, whose opinions are much res[)ected by those who know him ; the other, a country s<|uire who owns an estate not far from Cairo. The evidence of tlieae [lersons conies to this : Since the days of the Caliph Omar Egypt has never seen such security as that enjoyed by the masses. They are no longer exjiosed to arbitrary taxation, miUct and intimidation by those in authority. A peasant does uok now live in constant dread of arrest and i-xilc simply because he is well-to.do and has excite<l the envy or cupidity of tome court favorite. Personal security for tho ordinary Egyptian is now at least a histori- cal fact, and not a matter of opinion. The [Kjoplc hardly believe their senses in this ri s|)ect, and only fear that the present state of affairs is too good to last. There i* lea* robbery and brigandage now than there was twelve years ago. ,\ cadi, or native judge, is <|uote<l as giving, an opinion that Kgyptiaii (leasants nowadays suffer less ill- treatment and enjoy more freedom and security of person than has ever before been known. The more intelligent of the |><q>u|a;ioii have begun tu appreciate thoae advantages, and the expression of their opinions at the present moment may no doubt be attributed to a dread of an eventual rela|)«o into the old system of administra- tion. In Great Haiit«. Old Gentleman (to nitssengerboy. who ia miming at th'- top of his speedj â€" Great heavens, lad, whftt is the trouble ? Messenger Bov ( breathlessly )â€" Don't stop me, sir, don't stop me. I'm going to me dinner. IIiiw Ihr Drar Crvaturr* Talk. "Oh, ' laia, that cloak you are wearing ia a {>erfect fright I You ought to get a new one. Have you seen my new muff ?" " Yes, Kate, I saw you at church with him Suiiilay night."â€" /<o«fon liulepemlenl. .\ (irrat UlTer. Nt> matter in what part yon live, vou ba<t lutt.r wriUi to llallett * to.. I'ortland. Maine without ileU> . thiv will Keiid you free iiitoruia tioii alxiut work that you can <lo and live at hniiio, at a pront of from a to i2t> aud U|iwarda dAily. A nuinlxT have varnftl over C.'iO in a day. Ilotu ,*ezoa- All adea. You are atartad in huai- nemm tno. Canltal not neoled. Rvery worker who taae* hola at once U alf<i>lut«ly aure of a Kiititi liulu fortune. Now in the tiuie. The toboggan slide in Fond <t i I.ac, Wis. descends between an undertaker's shop and a marble cutter's yard. An Kxt«*n«lrfl I2z|ierlrnr«, Writes a well kiiowii chemist, permits ma to say that Putnam's Painless Corn Ex- tractor IK ver fails. It makes no sore spots in the flesh, and conseiiuently is painlesa. Don't you forget to get Putnam's Com Extractor, now for sale by medicine dealers everywhere. • TiiK Tichbornc claimant ia exhibiting in v.oaterii dime museums, and the pot-metal advertisements in the newsimjiers present various scenes in his real or imaginary career. One cut shows liini tending sheep II. -VuRtralia and represents him sitting on a rock with a long crook in his hand, a vi-iitahle cross between the Prodigal 8oa and little Bo[)C<'p. .\ St. Louis syndicate has just aci|uired a iiiDcty-nine years' lease of a tract of land in Mevico, on the Rio Grande, liW inileti long aiil SIX miles wiile. It will be u.se<l for a cattle pasture. One of the finest and biggest nuggets of gold ever found in California is on exhibi- tion in San Francisco. It is as large as an ordinary Derby hat. and weighs thirty- five pounds trry, It i.' worth f'JO a |iound, and s almost pure gold. â€" " Papa, we girls have orgaiiizeil a cook- ing stH'iety, ' said a travelling man's daughter. "Have you? What <lo yoa call it .' " " That's what I want to ask you. Can you suggest a gixxl name for it?" " Call it the Drowning club," said herpaps, lookini; over his gla.sses. Then she went over ill the corner and figured it out. Doni Pi^lrn, the elephant who die<l of rheumatism in the Philadelphia Zoological tiardeni the other day, was a mean lieast, mid as running as mean. During his latter days it was very diflicnlt to give him metli cine. So tlie rust! was adopte<l of filling a scooiwlout apple with the rer cdies and feeding it with a dozen or more sound onea. The dodge worked for a while, but Dom soon found it out, and after that each apple was cttii fully exaniine<l, and the deceptive one alwavs thrown ou CONSUMPTION. 1 h»»i>« paiflihe r«mr<<]T li>r tir* almv^dti , - .^ __ tlinuMnda y>(.-m*rt vf th« «Dni klit<1 sn t of lone â- tsodih* bav« t««n rurrJ. la<U«4. sn tlronc U mj fftllk In tM •»r»fy, tbal I wt't •*n'J TWO BOTl ITS raK, Wntter With ft VAl-IUniJt TRR.4TI«4K om IHI il>f w »« u« •«ffet>r. tJI»* "ipr*** sri.l I" O A>ilr«>i«. ^^ t>k. 1 A. »iU^« III. Sra&ch Office, 37 Tongs St, Tocwto 1) «• N 1,. â- !. H7. AKINQ POWDER THECaOK'S BEST FRIEND