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. 1 I r I. k. I -...,.,. Whafa tbe loos th cricket* MH- -i.u.ii ,. r ui u inn winter, spring ' When I take in v little broom Aud (o dulling through i.. room " Hwnp ! -..-). ! IM>|> ! .... | | When 1 no to bad at oieht. Then I hear thewi out of tight : " bleep! olcep! sleep! sleep!" Wbep I waken, every day, If it'i luony. then they tajr : - Pep! peep! i . . , pepf" Hut they fael a* bad aa I When it rains, for then tbey cry : " Weep! weep! weep! weep!" -sTrueit Whitntyin ttuOirittmaiSt. KithoUu Popular x, i, ,,. . asd Art- It ii reported that at Dresden the expert- sent has been tried of placing a nickel hghtning rod on a building. The advan- tages claimed for this metal are that, being MB-oorrodible, it will last longer than iron, and will also keep bright at the points. which latter in very essential to the effici- ency of rods aa conductor* of electricity. The "bird ipider" of tropical America ha* a body four and one-half inches long. The circle of the tipH of the legi has a diameter of seven inched. It is so named because it buildii its nest to capture small birds, lizards and reptiles. The neats anally contain 1.500 to 2.000 eggs. There are about 100 specie* of this formidable oreature. 'J*rman photographers have succeeded in phoUigraphing a projectile in the course of its night, and some of the photographs show the head of condensed air which pre- cedes every shot. It is this " head " which prevent* even akilf nl riflemen from hitting aa empty egg-shell when hung on a long u The air blows the shell out of the way of the bullet. The earth's interim! heat in now being (reed where into practical service at lv-th the deepest artesian well in the MKI.D M AKAMAI. VON MOLTKK. Kiclu-iurut In tne BVe>lrh>ta Over the OM Uwer*Te Impress! A Berlin oablegram of Saturday's date ays: The gloomy hints thrown oat by the Qerman Minister for War in the Reichstag yesterday were meant to make and have a deep impression. Had they stood alone they might have been explained by tactical osuaes. To-day, however, they were followed by a declaration of the veteran Von Moltke, ottered with an emphasis rarely used except at great criti- cal moments. The scene in the Reichstag was striking. Herr von Windhorst, speaking m the name of the Centre, had protested that his follow- ers were patriots Ailed with devotion, and though declaring he thought the Minister (or War took too dark a view of the situa- tion, had declared his willingness to give the Army Bill fair consideration, when the old Field Marshal rose. Standing in the middle of the House he turned toward the little ultramontane leader, while the Deputies crowded thickly round him, and homing a roll of paper in bie hand began to speak. There was dead silence for a time, but cheers rang out when, referring to France, he said : " So long as public opinion there clamors with unvarying and stiff-necked bitterness for the restitution of the pro- vinces regained with so much bloodshed, so long must Uermany repeat that she will shed her last drop of blood in holding and defending her conquests. ' Let as not forget," continued the veteran, amid breathless excitement, that the security ven the existence of great nations depends on their might ; that. above all, the greatest resources for the whole safety of Uermaiiy lie in the excel- lence of her army." The Ministerial crisis in France, coming at this moment, is naturally watched here with the keenest interest. The advent of Clemenoeau to power just now might have grave consequences. world i* being sunk to supply hot water for public baths and other purposes. A depth of 3,120 feet ha* been reached, and the well supplies daily 176,000 gallons of water awated to 158 degree* Fahrenheit. Th bonng is to be continued until the tempera- tore of the water is raised to 176 degrees. Tbe suggestion having been made that the ignition of petroleum tanka may some- times be caused by sparks from the rain of thunder-clouds, some interesting results obtained witfa an old piece of have been called to mi ments an electrometer showed that the drops of occasional shower* are almost always more or less charged witb electri- city, ami that it is only totally absent dur- ing fogjo,, moist days and long storms. The ^ h Hntd~w7th a darker shade, hung strongest charges were obtained during , ^^ the b. ck , the .hort-belted jacket thunder storms , but the air even ha* given l piece of apparatus ind. In theae experi- Pretty vt .i.l.. k -t . o> i .,-t .,..,,- Two costumes which have been seen here lately have attracted the ttteiv'.on of the ladies. The first was that worn by Miss I .ilhe Eustis, the niece of millionaire am' philanthropist Corcoran, upon the occasion of her making calls upon the ladies of the Cabinet. Miss Kustis is a decided blonde, and will probably formally enter Washing- ton society tin- winter. The costume referred to was a late importation from Worth. Over a full plain tkirt of chamois color in loose draping* waa an overskirt dead leaf color. A monk's cowl of dark indications occasionally of an charge without a fall of rain. electrical On the northern slope of the Alps the i of perpetual snow reaches down to about 8,000 feet above the level of tbe sea, and on the south side M.ettt fest. In tbe Pyrenees the mow In front, on either side, extending from under the cowl and loosely -knitted across the chest were broad scarf ends of the chamoi* cloth finished at the bottom with a cluster of large iridescent beads in strands. The hat wa* a soft, round felt of amrk brown, the brim trimmed all around Ot a lighter shade. At the back the brim ha* is at a height of about 8.960 . in I was slightly wired ami formed .n litres the Caucasus, 10,000 to 11,000 feet ; on the Indentations. On th. left aide xwrlh side of the Himalayaa, 12,980 feet, ! the brim was fastened high aad on the north, 19,6*) feet ; in Bolivia, ' tbe hat with a large cluster of feet in the Western in the Eastern ; in Cordillera and Mexico, 14,760 in Chili, near Santiago. 12.870 . in portion Kngliah sparrows. The second costume was that worn by Mrs. Hecretary Whitney at her last reception. The dress was a beautiful toilet of white silk grenadine. Norway 5.0UO feet in its middU and .' .u*i feet at its northern extremity . , long bows and ends flniabing the draping* in Kamchatka. .".'.'(Ml feet, and Alaska. 5, MM) of the tournure on the right side. Tbe feat. I entire front of gown waa formed of a white "Can imagination kill?" is the question ilk illusion with the stripe* of seed pearls which the British and Colonial Druggis*" between which were intricate patterns out pats to itself in discussing the death o? the lined in crystal beading. The illusion was yonng woman at Hackney under circum - ' shirred at the neck, forming a full vest. stances in which Heating's insect powder , nd '*" '">" thence in cascade* to the edge largely figured. Aa the powder appears, of the skirt, llu^un TrrrlltrCamti>*lriu. by l)r. Tidy's experiment, to be perfectly harmless, the suggestion i- not unnaturally made that the deceased, who was possibly of a hysterical, highly imaginative turn of The I ....k Out for four Wl. hr. hances of injury to watches by magnetization have been greatly multiplied hand- of persons having no connection whatever with elect in al matters. A watch readily berime* sufficiently magnatized to mind, took tbe powder in the full belief by the development nf the dynamo and its that by its means her death might ' extensive application to electric lighting be accomplished. The writer of and other purposes, so that it is very com - the article in our contemporary, ' moii to find magnaliiexi watche* in the we think, wrongly brings forward two remarkable instances of what may be regarded as practical jokes with melan- choly terminations. In the case of the derange its action aud render it entirely oonvict delivered up to the scientist for the | unreliable. Proximity to a dynamo is purpose of a psychological experiment (the necessary to aoionipliah it. 'I he remedy man was strapped to a table and blind- is administered on the honumpathic folded, ostensibly to be bled to death; a ' principle, aimiliii timUiba* nrautur. If the syphon containing water was placed near watch is suffering from an attack of mag- bis head and the fluid was allowed to netism, magnetism must effect the cure. The watch is tested to ascertain in the first place whether it is magnetized and in need of treatment, and afterward to deter- mine whether the treatment was effectual trickle audibly into a vessel below it, at the same time that a trifling scratch with a iteedle was inflicted on the culprit's neck ; it is said that death occurred at the end of MIX minutes), fear must have played no in- considerable share in the fatal result, and we do not know whether all the vital organs were in a sound condition, though they wore premumably so. The old Htory of the case of a college porter is also one in point. The studenti; entrapped him into a room at night, a mock inquiry wan held, and the punishment of death by decapitation de reed for his want f consideration to the HtudcntH. U is small wouder that, under the dominion of ftxtr and belief in the i-ni ni'st III-M- of hie tormentors, the wight of an axe and block, with subsequent blind- folding and necessary genuflexion, a -mm t rap with a wet towel on tlie back of hi* neck should have been followed by the picking up of a i:or|Hie. II" Itl-IMIJ ..-ll.-l .11 ll.ll " 80 you are 1H years old, are you. Johnny ?" Yes, and I now realiw that it i- an un- lucky number. It's too old for dolls, and pa says it's not old enough for ' societv." named Oliver Allen wan ice on Lake Chaniplam, While a boy xkating on the N.Y., and pushing a cutter occupied by two children named Edith and Ralph Planner) , aged 1'2 ami '> respectively, the ice gave away and all three were drowned. The man who frequents thspawnbrokti'n generally goes out on three balls. The Lord Primate of Ireland, Dr. Knox, han just been presented with a silver xalvpr, together with a cheque of l.'.'.d. SH a testi- monial from the clergy and laitv of Down and Connor and Dromore, of which united diocece he had been Hi shop for thirty- seven veara. Among the subscribers were the Lord Lieutenant and the Karl Dufferin. letter on, the same day, the Primate wan presented by the clerny with htll clock and an address ' rongratijatum on hit elevation t< the by presenting its different miles to a com IISHH needle, or. bettor, an ordinarv cambric needle magnetized and "impended by a single fibre of ilk attache*! to its centre. The attraction of the neeille by the watch in not positive evidence of its magnetiza tion . but if one end nf the needle is attracted by one side of the watch and re- pelled by the other aide, it indicates that the watch i magnetic. Uln-triral Hrrlrr. His; He... - White Wife. The Indian Department at Uegina have received instructions to identify the wife of the Indian Chief Kig Hear, now a convn-t at Htouy Mountain on account of his con- nection with the rebellion. It IM claimed that she is a white woman. A .juarter of a century' ago Harriet Montgomery disap- peared from Dundas, Out., where it is i Isimed a young band of Indians had stolen her from home and sold her to an Indian chief in the Northwest. Her relatives have been through the Department of the Interior at Ottawa endeavoring to follow a clue to her abduction. The Indian authorities declare that all Big Hear -> wives around Fort 1'itt ars full-blooded I udians. and that the relatives of the missing girl are upon a wrong trail. K Alexander Mil. hell, of Abenlt<en. Carlton i '.unity. N. I; . IIIIH fallen lien to a fortune left by a relative m Ceylon. The amount is placed at half n million. An interesting statement has juat been |nihl s h.i regarding the program of Methodism in London during the last 100 years. In 171)9 there were in London dint rirt S circuits, 11 ministers and H.5U hurrh members. In IWIfl there are in the same area 9H circuits, 1*1 circuit ministers, 11 departmental ministers, fl.1 nupernumer- arie and S6.000 church nwrnbers. At the former date* there was tine Methodist- in London to evarytwniy.one in the Provim M. Now there in one to every eleven. A III II I) I <>',!< Attempt, to Butcaar His Ctrl aad Hit Kor- A quarrel that nearly rssolted in a tragedy occurred in a house in University Lane, off Centre street, on Wednewlay night about half -past 11 o'clock, tbe princi pals being an enraged Italian lover, Jose KaKoh. his fair inamorita, Rosie Shane, and a successful rival, William H. 8wm bourne. It appear* that for sooMtiire past the Itahan had been payinii bis addreuas to Mm Sham-, who at rinit showed a prefer- ence for hito nimpany . bat latterly displayed a marked coldness toward him. This en- raged the impetuous lover from the Bunny South, and auspsctuig that there was another man in the house he placed himself on watch Late last night h visited ths house and found Swinboume there. A few hot words were exchanged, and then, it is alleged, the Italian drew from under his coat a large carving-kdifewith a blade thir- teen inches long, and made a slaah at Bwin- bourne, at the same time announcing his attention of carving up the whole house- hold. Constable Hart was called in and he arrested the Italian, afterwards securing the knife. In the row Bwinbourne received a cut in the hand, and in consequence Fasoli was charged with feloniously wound- ing. At the Police Court he pleaded not guilty and was remanded tu Tuesday next. Totx.tu Xttci. Whlpplr's Faithful |>.. K . Mr. Whipple's constant companion at hit home was a Mkye terrior dog ; he used to call him beautifully ugly." He was quite a large animal of that breed, and had a large head, with an uncommonly broad brow and a lavish growth nf longhair, that overshadowed the most lustrous and sym- pathetic pair of eyes ever seen in a dog. It was a deligJit to "see him romp with this pet. who had as sweet and affectionate a nature as any human being. A ahort time before Mr. Whipple' death the animal was sent into the country for a summer outing, and when he returned in the autumn and missed his master the dog became sad and sick. He was sent to the veterinary depart ment of Harvard College for treatment. He came home on Monday last, languishing and much emaciated, to die. He wa placed in a box and buried at his summer home by moonlight. At the same house where the dog wan left for the summer there was an English pug dog which waa a great favorite, and many a day this last summer they have "ported over the fields together. Asaonnaa Mr. Whipple's favorite was carried out for bnrrial, th. gliHh pug seemed to know in some mysterious way that his old friend and companion was in the box. and he leaped on the box and howled and wailed and showed other signs of r t grief, and he had to b forcibly taken off before his companion could be buried in the corner of the garden. whn- this bright and animated bit of animal life in such superabundant spirits ported in full enjoyment of life the last summer. Barton Tnirrllrr. DMtth er the nidmrt We SS In Hrollaml. Sir Duncan Campbell writes tothe.Vom is* 1'iut as follows : At Dalmally, Argyllshire, on October ?Mth. in the person of Ann Mar. i. UNO. therediedperhapxthe oldest woman in Scotland. Tb* jlersaaed was reputed in the district to have attaind the great age of 117 yean, and in consequence was an object of muck interest to the many summer vintora who cams to Lochaweside and Dalmally. Prior to some three week* before her death she was apparently in good health, and up to that time was able, as had been her usual custom, to walk a distance of two miles every alternate day on an errand. Shr has possessed robust health *11 through her long life, and could alwaya eat heartily and enjoy with youthful relish a muff or a drop oi mountain dew. She was born in the parish of (ilenorcby, and. according to her own statement, had only been one night ont of the parish since her birth, and had, in fact, never travelled more than fifteen milec from her native place, and. curiously enough, although she lived within aight of Lochawe. and although the locomotive had been a daily ' visitor' at Dalmally for some years, she was never either in a boat or a railway carriage. Her sister Joan, who resided with her, and who is said to be som JO years younger, is a widow, and nearly blind." A Nr.-.ll.- In a Cow's Heart. On Thursday of last week a oow, belong ing to T. H. Borden. of Port Williams, was taken sick, and continuing to grow worn. I L. Near) . of Kent v ille. was sent for. Mr Nesry was not able to go immediately, but sent back some medicine which was' given to the cow without doing her any good. Next da) other medicine waa sent and administered and seemed to do the cow good, and for a short time she appeared much better. Sunday night she got worse and Mr. Neary went down on Monday and found there was something wrong with the heart, and that he could do nothing to save the cow's life. On Monday night the cow lied, and Mr. N'earv bound to discover what ailed her had her opened, and found large darning needle sticking half its length into the heart. The course of the needle could easily be traced from the stomach into the heart. Mr. Borden at once recognized the needle as one that had been lost among some apple parings the da) before the cow was taken sick. Ktml- i-il'lr. N.a..t'Hn>nirle. I I iil-ni Terrible. Angel Child Hay, have you found him yet ' Miss Anteak (on a visit) Found whom, my little man ? Angel Child Tour husband. Ma says you are a husband-hunter. (The ,'iteni,' fiirilialf in now in bad re- pair.) f'usi'A. A monument ix to be erected to Paul H. Hayne over his grave in Augusta. (>a.. and the chairman nf the committee to receive contributions is James K Randall, of the Augusta Chnmiflf, author of " Maryland. My Maryland." Twenty-six years ago the steamer Pacific bnrnexl and sank in the Ohio River at I'niontown, Ky. The other day a hogshead was dug up from the wreck, and, being opened, the tobacco was fonnd to hr am bright and good apnarently aa when it was pa<ked. Mil PONY'S) -n i.vi, S|,.HI a Kipertoatee Is the Highland* - A Hum II.K Cottage sad a M...I..-I. .. i ,,.,i, U was a very wet afternoon, writes Andrew Laug ID Longman s Magaaine," and 1 was walking along in conversation with a charming old Highlander. He was carrying my rod and creel (empty) but his conversation waa as good a* any one is likely to find anywhere. He spoke of Mont- reae'w wars, and was not on the aide of the Argyll*. He spoke of the Taishtaragh, I think n* called it, or second aight. Every man sees three sights in his lifetime, they aay." he remarked, and confessed that he bad not even seen one "sight " ytt. But there is a man at Fort William who sees everything that is going to happen." I suggested that this gentleman might make a rapid fortune if he would turn his in- spired gaze on the British turf, but at that moment we noticed a great brown smoke banging in the wet air. It was an evic- tion. The sight wa* not of the super- natural kind which the gillie spoke >f. but it waa fit to make a mark on tbe memory. Beyond the river there wa* a high, wooded bill, all blue in the rain. Against this the smoke arose white, and m the midst of the clear red flame the black gables of the burning cottage *tood ont clear. There were tome sappy, green bunches of tree* by the gable ; on the grass near the roadside a woman was trying to cover her property -chairs, table, and an old delf dinner service, all very decent fur- niture. The old gillie was very much ex- cited, and full of anger and pity. The pony saw it," he said, "this is what the pony saw." He referred to a misdemeanor of our pony, which had shied violently as we drove down the road in the morning. To me it seemed that the horse was alarmed by a big sherp win. Ii had bounced up under its nose, but my friend credited the pony with the Tamhtaragh. " The beast sees things we can't see." he told me. This gift is very interesting, but it would not com fort me to have my nerk broken by a pro phetic <|uadruped. because a farmer I did not know waa going to be evicted. The case of the farmer, if it was correctly re ported, seemed to illustrate the Titanic Celtic temper very well He had not paid a penny of rent for four years. The rent may have lieen high. i'u he surely ini^ht have paid some of it. Vet. though he had economised in rent, he waa unable to pay his other creditors, and his stock ami cattle have been sold up. An Knghahinan would have |-ihap> thought it well to leave a farm which he could not make profitable, when he had money and st.. k But the Celtic tenant simply de- clined to leave, in spite of many requests and warnings. The burning of hi* house, It was said, wa* an example of trop da /.rla on the part of the messenger-at-arm*. who exceeded his instruction*. It was < ertainly a miserable and ill -advised act ion. Hut. aa we slowly climbed the hill, and saw the smoke clinging to the valley, and aaw ths blackened beama of an old family home, we seemed to discern the differences between our race and ths Celtic peoples. We have lost the old poetical belief*, the Taishtaragh and the rest of it. No English beater nor under-keeper (except Kingalev |-t ..f gamekeeping life! could have talked as that old gillie talked, an unschooled man, to whom Knglish was a foreign tongue, half learned. History waa tradition to him, a living oral legend. Hut we can recognix* the nature and pressure of facts, without which sad knowledge society would revert into barbarism in a fortnight. \.. n,. si.... i -.-..,, i... i r Professor Proctor says : " It is almost impoHHiblr to Hay under what conditions life IK poHHilile or impossible Men of science have lately been taught thin in a very striking manner. For. judging by whst the) know of the state of things at the bottom of the deep sea, they concluded that there could be no living creature there. They reasoned that the pressure exerted by the water Mould crush the life out of any known creature, which wa iin.|ue>ti.>nal>rv true. A piece of the hardest and densest wood sunk to those depth* has the water literally forced into its aubstam c and the tremendoux mail of the crocodile, or the thick -km of the rhlhooerous. would he unable to resist a tithe of the enormous pressure exerted by the water at the bottom of the deep seaH. Yet it IH now known that creatures not only exist down there, but that, notwithstanding the great darkncMx that must prevail then*, these crea- tures are prov ided with the means ..f seeing. Ho unlike are they to all other creatures. however, that they are unable to live out of their native depths, and when dragged up by the dredge* the) are burst asunder, and are killed long before reaching the turf ace This should teach us that although it may be proved that in some inaccessible world, like Venus, or any of her fellow planet H. the conditions which prevail are not such as would be convenient to terrestrial creatures, or are even such at -10 creatures known to n- < .iiild endure c\<-u for a few minute-, life may neverthelexx exiitt. It in. indeed, toler ably certain that if there be living creature* in Venus is*, for my own part. I little doubt), ami if among these creature* then' beany which poHitesH reasoning |x>werH smli as ours (which is not socertainl.it i, i-t appear to xuch reasoning beingx in \ finis at least as difficult to understand how our earth can IK' inhabited, as we And it to con- ceive what nature of creatures they may be which exist in Venus." Mi. III. ....I It. I..I,..,,. Stanley says that whenever he wasmtro I need to a friendly African chief the latter compelled him to have his legs punctured, and having done the name to hm own. exchanged a little blood with him. He says his legs are covered with warn made to cement friendships of tins kind Stanley's blond relations in Africa must be quite numerous Botton Ulabr. a Henry If. Stanley is remarkable for a broad head, very thick through the cheek bones. His hair IK xtill dark and thick, covering the temple-. H. i- of nml.ll-. si/e. weighing about 1 HO poundn. He looks like a man of about 60 years of age. In Boston a curions holida. novelty is a call bell for desks and dining tables. It is made of a coooannt with a pig s head in metal in f rent and a metal pig'* tall behind. When one ring* thr tail the pig gruuts ont a succession of muffled bell strokes. Fsihlee of -., ,,.i r . relks. The I/egislatnre nf Alabama has elect**! a woman for enrolling and engrossing clerk. Saratoga. N v , has a woman bill-poster who handle* the brush with the skill of an expert. The Chinese have a custom of wearing two watches, because if one make* sick and die, other live." A little girl recently entered ths store of a Hamilton druggist with a slip of paper which read : Please sell bearer one half - pint of tepid water." The editor of a Georgia paper says liberty is alwaya pictured as a woman because liberty to survive must be vigilant. and there is no blind side to a woman. " A man said to me the other night," re- marked a clergyman. I would not have missed your sermon for I.K).' and yet, when the plate was passes) round, that man pat in a penny." Nora Brown, of Owensboro. Kv., lying ill with a fever, startled her friends by lud denl v saying that abe saw an angel, who said to her distinctly : Thou shall live another year. " Her friends believe Nora. A Buffalo lawyer waa under examination aa a witness and had stated approximately the time at which something had occurred, when he was sharply requested by the examining attorney to be more definite. You ought to know. It was about thr time you collected my costs in that suit and kept the money," was the paraly/mg reply. A novel mode of deciding an election was recently adopted by two candidate* in i n t. . Neb., who had a tie for to* I .apsis ture. King and Kishburn were tbe parties interi -ted. and they cast lots to see who should occupy the seat. King won and received the certificate Kinhburn after ward expressed <ln.Mttisfartion with the manner of the draw. King surrendered the certificate, and by mutual consent another draw was had. and reunited favor ably to Fishbiirn. who received the certi- ficate of election. It ia said that whenever an eruption < f tlie Itromo volcano. Japan, takes place, the native*, an am >n as the lire ithe molten lava no doubt is meant i cornea down the nioun tain, kindle at it the wood they use as fuel (or cooking. The) keep in the fire thus made for veart. and whenever it goes not through neglect nr for am other reason the) never kindle it anew from matches, but thev get a litiht from their nearest neighbor*, whose tire wan originally ob- tained from the volcano. The fires in use up to the latest outhumt in the native conk in*: places were all obtained from the Hromo eruption of IKS*. H"i Water aa<l the Asiswtlle. It is a specialty of umtarv reformer*, who are amoii the most useful of ths many intellectual numance* in the world, to be dent-lent in the quality of humor One of them, some years ago. recommended that a man dead relatives ahonld be burned at the corners of the streets, to save gas lamp* . another, not two years ago, lectured on tbe unhealthiness of boots in bed -rooms, and Mr Manserg. at th* close of a most seniible address to tbe Sanitary Congress on water supply, brought in his views on tmtotalism in the oddest way. He told iua audteetos that - si seamstir hot- water drinking had been proved in America to be destructive ..f the appetite for alcohol." We entirely believe him and if he extended the destructive effect to the appetite for mutton chops, fruit, or w hraf n bread, wi should believe him alto. Rut why limit us to hot water, when tartar emetic, ipecacuanha, unrefined "1 liver oil. and perha|w twenty other .Irugs would be at least equally potent ' Thr old reined v of lie. hah. total ahstuience. is an easier one than that, and as perfectly effective as long aa it in pursued. The difficulty of the temperate is not to leave off alcohol, but to believe m the use of leaving it off. They do not find that the most perfect abstainers in the world, life convicts. Uiome better j-s.ple /,</. Not I m irrl< HalUHml. It isn't always best to be entirely satis neil with everything. Mother." -ai.l a \oniiM lady recfiitlv. "how came yon to murrv nch a very plain, unpretentioun man as father ?" "If I hail known that his daughter would ever have asked such a |ni-4ti..ii I presume I ahould have heal tated." "Then vou are not satisfied ?" " Not entirely . I M tn<~t winh that our danghu-ra had been all fonn." Hartford .*, I - Art. Customer (to photographer! I don't think the picture does me justice. Photographer My dear air. if photo- graphy did justice to every one who has his lure taken the art would soon grow on popular, lliirprr't Aojar. The IHsTertisr*. ( itv ..ii-in (at a ball, to countrv n<nsm) Considerable difference betwixt this and a hop id the ronntrv i there not ' Country tiiiimii Well -er yes. Y *. they wear rlo'st all n\er em nut in .>nr parts." .1 unllflable. Inebriate.) Man in a Street Car (who .Irink- tt< -pile Ins wife) Slim strang r, >l.'ti t \.ili tlnnk a INI. I |-r..n s -..ini-tini. -. H'fled ill ktvpin' 'self tossioateil ' Stranger Certainly, if he in onni|*lled to in- in yonr roin|>aii\ /. r.i s'irrix./. He WM -...,, Hr NS.M It. (tiiest You're not taking anv dinner Mrs Mervdith ' Hostews- Thanks! I've ha.1 some of every dish ! Guest Well, that'll not mm Ii ' I'uncH. 1.<- K I Tender. Teacher " If you were prenident of a county fair an. I wanted a gate tender, what would von do ' I'upil ' Hoil it." " Ma," said Clara. I think I II have my new seal brown suit trimmed with bows to match." Humph '"said herfather. von we>n't snn-eed." " Why not. pa ?" Well, none of your beaux wem to match." When you say that you don't know 'filch are tho fatt-st letters in the alphabet y6u will be told O It C T. whereupon you are expactfd to exclaim, O I C. \