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Page 15, News, Tuesday, March 26, 1991 continued from page 5 always do! (Laughter) Just kidding, just kidding..." The laughtrack goes berzerk sending out a stream of cat calls and whistles. "Looks like Joe's having a little trouble working the knobs, if you know what I mean." (Mild laughter). "Hey, you've been a great crowd." "And, speaking of knobs, at this time I'd like to bring up the guy who's really responsi- ble for all this. They call him Lyin' Brian. He's the Cutup From Baie Comeau and he's going to provide the answer to the question that has badly divided Canadians for this past year. "And that question is : 'Brian, are you back on the bottle or what?™ (Loud laugh- ter) "Just kidding... "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome please, your prime minister, my boss and Mila's sex slave, Brian Mulroney. Come on up her, ya big lug." (Brian and Michael shake hands and slap each other on the back as the crowd roars). Brian: "Thank you, Michael Wilson, Canada's very own cure for happiness." (A rimshot and laughter). "Is that your calculator in your pocket, Mike, or are you just glad to see me big guy?" (Loud guffaws). "C'mon I'm kidding here... "But seriously, folks, I want you to know I am fully apprised and in control of the Quebec separation crisis, and I say to you today, in complete candor, Canada is not up for grabs..." (applause) ..."How could it be?... I already sold it to the United States." (Great laughter). "My critics will say I'm trashing all the things that bind Canada together -- the rail-. roads, the CBC, Air Canada. They say I have no unification strategy. Of course, I have a plan for Canadian unity. I got it from U.S. General Colin Powell. 'First we're going to cut it off and we're going to kill it!" (Much laughter and whistling). Conference Room. ( PUBLIC NOTICE > MINNOVA Inc. Minnova Inc. Winston Lake Division, Schreiber invites you to attend a public information session on their 1991 Tailings Area Expansion. This informal meeting will take place on Thursday, April 4th between 7:00 and 9:00 p.m. at the Terrace Bay Recreation Centre This will be a valu- able opportunity to provide you, the public, with information related to the expansion of our tailings storage facility. You are invited to bring forward your comments or questions on this matter. We look forward to seeing you there. Ni i onan will be served. gy IMPROVEMENTS PRESENTS SPRING SPECIALS HUGE SAVINGS ON REPLACEMENT WINDOWS SIDING SIDING SIDING CALL US NOW!: TOLL FREE 1-800-665-2429 think I speak for all federal Conservatives when I tell you we have every intention of restructuring Canada for your children and your children's children..." (applause) ..." That's right, we're going to turn it into a theme park!" (Much laughter). "Just kidding. Ladies and gentlemen of all provinces and both official languages, I tell you with all honesty and con- sequence, you cannot have a part-time country... (applause) ..not with everybody in gov- ernment on full-time pen- sions!" (Wild laughter is inter- rupted by what sounds like a tear in the back of Michael Wilson's pants, followed by even more laughter.) EEO) 3) NY cas BE WATER SMART. SNOWMOBILES ARE DEAD WEIGHT ON ICE. ay Ministry of Bs 4, THE ROYAL Tourism * lj LIFE SAVING and ¥ @ SOCILTY CANADA Recreation Cauav> Ontario 3 Out of 10 Canadian Students Drop Out... And We All Pay The Price. W Every year, 3 out of 10 Canadian students drop out before finishing high school... And they realize all too soon that it isn't as easy as they thought. The fact is, over the next few years, the majority of new jobs Dropping out Is no have the choices, the way out. will require a high school education as a minimum. Without it, young people simply won't opportunities or freedom they're looking for. When 30% drop out...over 100,000 students a year...it affects everyone -- parents, educators, employers, Canadian society as.a whole. Making sure that young people stay in school is important for all of us...and more important today than ever before. Let's do something about it. Government of Canada ivi Minister of State for Youth Ministre d'Etat a la Jeunesse Gouvernement du Canada Canada