The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

continued from page 5 d) people who think it's pretty nifty to bring a humongous hot air balloon to an open house. Step 6: SIZE: "Is it enough house for you?" is the question most real estate agents will ask you. "Is it a heavy fine for not wearing that tacky company blaz- er?" is a question you might want to ask an agent. It's always tempting to cut corners when buying your first house but believe me, later on the lack of toilet and bathing facilities. can turn house guests against you. On the other hand, if you're work- ing nights as a dew worm picker to supplement your day job at the car wash, then a house with a helicopter pad is probably too much house for you. Step 7: INSPECTION: It's important that you have someone inspect your prospective house so that at some later date, the exis- tence of things like a basement and a furnace don't turn out to be just bad rumours. Every house, by law, must now be inspected for termites, parasites and other pests that may have once owned your home and flipped it for a quick profit. Too many inspectors are soft on the building trade that is in fact their meal ticket. Find an inspector who's ruthless, aggres- sive, and borderline obnoxious and who's never going to tell you what you want to hear. That's right - ask your mother-in-law to look things over. Step 8: NEGOTIATING: Neg- otiating a price to purchase a home is a complicated series of offers and counter offers that begins when you mention a figure that's more money than you'll ever earn in four lifetimes and the Overnight Accommodation Take a short drive to Thunder Bay and we will pay for your hotel room. Peterson's now offers free overnight accommodation to out-of-town customers. Select any of our home furnishings or appliances totalling $1,000 or more and we will pay for your stay at the fabulous Circle Inn. Plus,.you always get the lowest possible prices on the best brand names and delivery is free! 7, = |pRanoe &) Ze ', KS The Best Brand Names Prauser 22 Boy GUZJENN-AIR Skfar"Peppler (QUmayrac GENERAL @ ELECTRIC Roxton KitchenAid fimasiccner Mreeqlia CALL TOLL FREE TO ARRANGE YOUR OVERNIGHT STAY! 1-800-461-6227 FREE DELIVERY! 90 DAYS NO INTEREST ASK FOR DETAILS. FOVET OOM FURNITURE ANO APPLIANCES 361 Ft. William Rd. 345-2307 seller laughs so hard he makes a rude noise and has a coughing fit. This is where your real estate agent enters the picture...at the sound of the rude noise. Step 9: REFERENCES: Many first time house buyers are required to supply names of cred- ible people on the purchase appli- cation, who"may be contacted to vouch for your good character. Recently credible people in this country have been put on the endangered species list. In lieu of character references, the rules have been relaxed somewhat allowing you to: a) admit to all past criminal convictions but swear you're about to be appointed to the Senate. b) transfer all outstanding warrants to your wife's name. c) justify your vile character by producing a membership card of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada. : d) play dumb and deny. Step 10: CLOSING: Basically this is the ceremonial transfer of all the money you will earn, hide from Revenue Canada and pick out of coin return slots for the rest of your natural life in return for the key to the front door of the house your bank manager now owns and lets you live in with certain conditions. You also geta document which states that when archeologists from outer space - are picking through the earth's ruins in the fourth or fifth millen- nium, and provided that you have maintained your monthly pay- ments up until that point in time, you will have reduced your prin- ciple by $350. This is a mort- gage. You're now a homeowner. The blue box is free. New Business... Advertise in the - Terrace Bay/Schreiber News And get the biggest bang for your advertising dollar! 'Call 825-3747 for details Oct. 15 Seniors Day 9:30 a.m. fh Video, refreshments history display p (RN T0 Juggleknots performance RE Al) at public school 2:00 p.m. funded by Outreach Ontario Oct. 16 Story Time Program 3 & 4 year olds INFORMATION SERVICES Ontario Public Library Week October 15th - 21st a Oct. 17/18 Class visits, contests, prizes Oct. 19/20 Annual Book Sale For further information call 825-3819 WHAT'S AVAILABLE AT THE LIBRARY? PRINTED MATERIALS AUDIO - VISUAL MATERIALS Page 7, News, Tuesday, October 9, 1990 ONTARIO | GOVERNMENT NOTICE ~-- PUBLIC INFORMATION CENTRES HIGHWAY 11/17 (RED ROCK TO NIPIGON) The Ministry of Transportation is currently carrying out a Planning Study of the Trans-Canada Highway (Highway 11/17) between the junction of Highways 11 and 17 at Nipigon, and the west boundary of the Township of Red Rock. This study will examine alternatives associated with upgrading the Trans-Canada Highway to a four lane highway, including the twinning of the Nipigon River Bridge. The maintenance of access to local businesses and residences will be a key issue throughout the course of the study. This information centre is intended to provide the public with the opportunity to review the study background and discuss the proposed four-laning of the Trans-Canada Highway, prior to the development of alternatives. We are interested in hearing any comments or concerns you or your group may have about this project. In order to familiarize you with the study and to provide the opportunity to discuss your concerns with the Ministry of Transportation staff, PUBLIC INFORMATION CENTRES will be held as follows: Tuesday October 16, 1990 from 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Red Rock Recreation Centre 39 Brompton Road -- RED ROCK, Ontario Wednesday October 17, 1990 from 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Royal Canadian Legion 102 Fifth Street NIPIGON, Ontario Further information centres will be held in the spring and sum- mer of 1991 at key points in the study which is scheduled to be completed in the fall of 1991. You are encouraged to contact Ministry of Transportation staff throughout the course of the study if you have questions or concerns. Upon completion of this study, a Planning Report will be pre- pared. Subsequent to this study, a detailed design study will be carried out which will include the preparation of documen- tation required under the Environmental Assessment Act. This documentation will be made available for public viewing. A fur- ther public notice will be published at that time. Comments and information regarding this study are being col- lected to assist the Ministry of Transportation in meeting requirements under the Environmental Assessment Act. Your comments will be maintained as a public data base and will be kept on file for use during the study and, unless otherwise requested, may be included in the study documentation which is made available for public review. Comments and enquiries may be directed to: Richard Bruneau Senior Project Manager Ministry of Transportation P.O. Box 1177, 615 South James Street Thunder Bay, Ontario P7J 4X9 Telephone: 1-800-473-2148 1-800-465-5010 (Toll Free) De Plus amples renseignments en francais son disponsibles en componant 1-800-465-5010 poste 2120 Ministry Ministére Y) of des Transportation Transports Ontario ne _ ft 7