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Page 5, Gazette, Tuesday, May 1, 1990 SEE Mulroney's latest great idea A high, unnamed administra- tive aide to Brian Mulroney burst into the recent top level meeting between our prime minister and Mexican President Carlos Salinas Gortari in Mexico City with a message from home. Brian was taken aback. He figured either this aide must be high or the mes- sage was real important. The message was real impor- tant.. It was the news he had dreaded for months, Instant infu- riation consumed him--his face reddened, his cute little blue blaz- er serged and his jaw jutted out opening a gash over President Gortari's right eye that later took eight stitches to close. The mes- sage: Seasonally-adjusted figures released by the Department of Employment and Immigration this morning confirm that despite Free Trade with Lad United William J. Thomas States--SOME PEOPLE STILL HAVE JOBS IN CANADA! In order to reduce our average hourly wage rate in Canada to compete with that of the United States, Mulroney had left word before he left for Mexico that all jobs in this country were to be officially eliminated and those wanting to work be picked up each morning at a quarter to eight in pick-up trucks in the town square and driven out to the job sites by their employers and paid a daily wage commensurate with how badly they wanted a ride home. Ever the optimist, always the one to seize a bad moment and turn it into the catastrophe of the century, Mulroney forced a smile and looked across the table at President Gortari who was hold- ing a hankie to his head. "May I call you Gort?" Mulroney eased in. "Sure, Roon," replied the pres- ident. The aide rushed out with a release for the press that our Prime Minister and the President of Mexico had developed a deeply personal and highly con- structive relationship at their very first meeting. "What's the average wage here in Mexico, Gort?" "Twelve dollars, Roon." "Ouch! Twelve bucks an hour is pretty good, Gort." "That's twelve dollars a day, Roon, and the days are very long." "What's your largest export to Canada?" "Sombreros." "Not the kind with those little fluff-balls hanging from the brim!" "Correcto." "Wow!" carleames the Prime Minister. The barriers to trade were falling faster than demon- strators on the steps of Parliament Hill. Brian, the consummate deal- cutter, was rolling up his sleeves. "Did you ever think of putting re- fried beans in cans and swapping them even-steven, one-for-one, for word processors we make in Canada?" "Not until now, you sweet talking son-of a..." Brian Mulroney was out the door and onto the balcony where, to the hordes of cheering and flag-waving Mexicans, with President Carlos Salinas Gortari at this side, he announced: "The stage is set for a new era in Mexican-Canadian relations and a fresh partnership between our two countries." The thousands of Mexicans in the central plaza ee ntinued on page 9 A memory of the first diesel Hands up anybody out there who can come up with the name of the fellow who STOPPED the very first diesel 120-car train going across Canada? Give up? Okay, I won't keep you in sus- pense. The name of that daring young man is that of my very own friend-husband, Alex Kennedy. It all happened when he was but a tad of a kid and out of the hated school system on his very first job as a telegrapher for the mighty Canadian Pacific, and sta- tioned in a practically invisible little hoot of a place called Regan's Siding near the Mobert Reservation on White Lake. Just this side of the town of White River; you know, of the coldest- spot-in-Canada fame. This said place of Regan's Siding no longer exists today, but it most surely does in the memory of F.H., and certainly it must in the memory of the crew of that Olga Landiak particular train because of what happened there on that infamous night. Well, it appears that one of F.H.'s jobs was to clip the Engineer's Orders onto a hoop- like contrivance at the end of a stick, which said Engineer would then lean out and hook over his arm, and proceed on his merry way secure in the knowledge that he now knew what he was sup- posed to do on the next lap of his journey.That was the way it was supposed to work. It always had. But no such luck on this particu- lar night of infamy, when F.H. was standing on the platform of his Little Siding waiting for the confirmed train to make its i eae No one cr bothered om to tell him it was the Very First Diesel. So, there he was, hoop-on- stick in his hot little hand waiting to poke it up where he expected the Engineer to be. Only trouble was, the Engineer flashed by him before he realized he wasn't in the usual position where he would have been if it had been the Good Old Steam Engine instead of the New Monster. Needless to say, the Engineer missed his Orders. Pull the cord! Blow the whis- tle! Slam on the brakes! Or whatever it is that one does to stop a diesel train going umpteen miles an hour. Or any train, for that matter. The caboose of this extraordinary 120-car train slowly rolled to a a before the horri- fied gaze of F.H. who was still standing there with the Engineer's Orders clopped to the hoop-on-a- stick. In one second he handed it over to the chap in the caboose who was gazing at him in equal horror, and then.....then, dear friends, he beat it into the sur- rounding bush! There was no way he, as a cal- low fifteen-year-old (having fibbed about his age to get the job in the first place) was about to stand there on Regan's Siding and face the volcanic wrath of the entire crew of the Very First Diesel Freight Train Which Had Been Stopped! And forced to back up so that the Engineer could retrieve his blankety-blank Orders! No way, indeed. F.H.'s name should surely go down in Canadian Folklore histo- ry for this deed of derring- -do even if it had been done in sheer ignorance. It's really something to stop any train, but when it's the Very First Diesel, well..... Maybe that's why Regan's Siding no longer exists today. Maybe the Powers-that-Be in the highest echelons of the Canadian Pacific ordered it to be blown up or something and so wipe out the ignominy of that particular night. Ah hah, but we've done the dirty on them and herewith recorded the incident in these words. For posterity's sake, of course. Forestry hearings overlooked On April 22nd, the world cele- brated the 20th anniversary of the first "Earth Day". People all over the world held marches and ral- lies, planted trees, and cleaned up public spaces. Among other things, Earth Day participants were calling for more care for the forests - Mother Earth's way of changing carbon dioxide into oxygen. Seventeen days after Earth Day, on May 10th, 1990, Ontario's longest-running envi- ronmental assessment hearing has its second anniversary. But don't expect that day to be greeted with any big celebration or fanfare. The hearings are grinding on, pumping out enormous quantities of information, but with little notice from the media, or the pub- lic. It's the first time Ontario has held a formal hearing under its Environmental Assessment law to an entire "class" of activities by one of its own departments - in this case, the hearings are looking into the way the Ministry of Natural Resources (MNR) man- ages northern Ontario's forests. But the hearing participants Sh U6 8 ae See NORTHERN INSIGHTS a moming at the hearings recent- ly, while the forest industry was presenting its fifth panel of wit- nesses. The subject matter of the day - forest access roads - should have attracted a lot of interest. Cottage owners, band councils, anglers, tourist outfitters, and environmentalists have com- plained for years about the way the industry builds and maintains roads to reach northwestern Ontario's trees. The chairs at the back of the hall for members of the general public were empty. Even some of the tables reserved for lawyers were empty. Only four of the 60 parties with formal standing at the hearing had representatives pre- sent - the industry, the Tourist , .. Cay eee See eM Me SD, ty BR by Larry Sanders Resources, and the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters. The table set aside for news reporters was empty - unused for weeks. At the front, where the assessment board members sit, only two commis- sioners are left. The chairman, Michael Jeffery, resigned in February for personal reasons. Only Anne Koven, an environ- mental planner from Ottawa, and Eli Martel, a former NDP Member of the Legislature from Sudbury, are left to hear the evi- dence. Ed Hanna, a consultant to the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters, has been an active cross-examiner at the hearings. He says the complexity of the hancnner haciAnntesenten: tr the decline in public interest. "This is an intensive investigation of a very complicated subject. So its very difficult for the average per- son to comprehend. Yet I think many people realize the hearings have enormous consequences to the people of this province." Hanna also blames the news media for not covering the hear- ings, thereby contributing to their obscurity. "There is a preoccupa- tion in the media with what I call blood and guts - sensationalism. I believe that the public is looking for informed information. Yet, in order to develop an informed report that the public can under- stand, the media must be able to understand. And my experience with the media is that there is a limited understanding of technical... subjects - to be able to synthesize and to present the information in a form that the public can under- stand and appreciate." As a reporter who's tried to cover the hearings on and off for over their two year life span, I know personally how large that challenge is. Reporters are sent out by stressed-out editors with deadlines to meet, newscasts to broadcast, and newspapers to print. There are stories at the hearings, but they require digging to locate. Journalistic digging takes time, just like archaeology. And impatient city editors or broadcast news directors are not given enough staff resources to afford to have an archaeology out in the field digging for long, with- out demanding rapid production of artifacts - in this case, stories. For example, on the morning I attended the hearings, I discov- ered a journalistic artifact that I'm sure those Earth Day marchers would want to know about. A very important policy change is being advocated by the industry at the hearings, that will com- pletely change the way the public rnantiniuad an-nane 19