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Page 4; News, Wednesday, January 27, 1988. TERRACE BAY SCHREIBER The Terrace Bay-Schreiber News Is published every Wednesday by: Laurentian Publishing Single copies 40 cents Subscription rates per year Co. Ltd., Box 579, Terrace Bay, Ontario, POT-2WO. Telephone: (807) 825-3747. in town $15.00/yr. Second Class Mailing Permit Number 0867 two years $25 = ; out of town $21.00/yr. ae BEURONE ooo an ccncccckscecsneseadcapcnssetmcasesssdbaeentvescesdnessescasesceceas Ken Lusk Member of Ontario Community AAVETtiSING ........:-2scccecccereneeresrscsssenensseenssees Julie Wright Newspapers Association and The *CNA Office oat Gayle Fournier Canadian Community Newspapers Production Manage .........s-s+sessse Saila Young -- Association Rossport Theatre Group It hasn't been that long since plays and concerts were held in the Rossport Community Hall. But lately the stage has fallen silent. Alas, a revival is in the rumblings! There is no live theatre in the area- and why not?- surely there are talented individuals here. People who have secretly dreamed of the lights, the applause, the thrill of theatre! To make a success, however, you need three to four women, two to three men, sound person/s, lighting person/s, a costume co-ordinator, stage design and prop person/s, a director, an assistant.....(surely there's something on the above list you know you'd be good at). But before the curtain goes up, a firm commitment needs to be made to attend every rehearsal; to be serious about making a small din- ner theatre in Rossport a success. We're hoping there is enough response to bring up the curtain this spring. That's why February has been chosen as the month to begin. No one should be shy about contacting Judi Sundland at 824-2834 between 11 a.m. and 9 p.m. to ask questions and to find out when the Rossport Theatre Group will have their first meeting. We're all amateurs, so if you 'think ' you can do it, we want you on You know, it's like talking to a brick wall! board! "It's like talking to a brick wall..." "When I was your age..." Sound familiar, parents of teens? Many families these days have problems relating to the needs and behaviours of their teenage mem- bers. And many teenagers seem to have problems relating to their, pardon the 50's word, "square" parents. The Schreiber Terrace Bay Parenting Contact Group will be holding a seminar on Teens where parents can share questions, solu- tions, beefs and successes and also receive lots of information on practical, everyday ways to improve relationships. The semi- nar will include discussion groups, special presentation on drugs and alcohol and a special guest, Dave Henry, director of the Teen Family Program 'in Thunder Bay acting as a resource person. This seminar will occur due to the enthusiastic planning of sev- eral local people who attended a similar seminar in late November Arthur in Thunder Bay, sponsored by the Community Development Program. Brenda and Barry Harper Harper, Forest and Kathie Notwell, Don and Mary Anderson and Danielle Salesse all found the much information and benefit from attending that they felt par- ents in Terrace Bay and Schreiber could also benefit from getting together for a similar program. The seminar will be held Friday and Saturday all day. January 30 and 31 in Terrace Bay. Times will be announced next week. There will be a very small registration fee in order to cover costs. Plans are underway to pro- vide child care during the pro- gram as well.as a social hour Friday and lunch on Saturday. Pre-registration really helps plan- ning, sO interested persons are asked to contact Mary Anderson at 824-2539 or Brenda Harper at 825-3384 if they are interested in attending. A phone call will do it! Black BEvWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE Reeve to attend emergency preparedness It has been announced that Mike Cosgrove, reeve of Schreiber, is attending the Federal Conference of Mayors and Elected Officials at the Canadian Emergency Preparedness College in Amprior, Ontario. This study session, slated for Jan. 25th to the 28th, 1988, is one of a series of four-day conferences for mayors and elected officials held at the Canadian Emergency Preparedness College in Arnprior each year under the auspices of Emergency Preparedness Canada. The aim of these English or French language conferences is to assist mayors and elected officials in development of plans and the imple- mentation of measures to meet emer- gency situations. About 30 to 50 elected represen- tatives from provinces and the territo- ries will examine the extensive range of federal, provincial and municipal civil emergency. preparedness plan- ning and operational activities associ- -- ated with major emergencies and dis- asters. Each conference involves lectures, demonstrations, case studies, plan- ning, operational concepts, films, group discussion and practices designed to emphasize the signifi- cance of municipal leadership respon- sibilities and involvement to meet emergencies and disasters in their communities. The Canadian Emergency Preparedness College, located on the outskirts of Amprior, conducts a wide range of federal departmental plan- ning and disasters management courses. In addition to the conference of mayors, federal departments and ~ agencies with emergency planning responsibilities train senior officials in specific subject areas related to cri- sis planning and management and departmental roles pertaining to oper- ations before, during and after emer- gencies. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philoso- phy. Hamlet I, V Indeed there are, Horatio. Weird, whacky and wonderful things -- and not all of them occur after sundown on gloomy battle- ments in Denmark either. As a matter of fact, a disproportionate percentage of oddball happenings seem to occur on the other side of 'that five thousand mile long, rick- ety picket fence that separates us from the Excited States of America, Land of the Crave and Home of the Freaky. There was for instance, the case of the house burglary that occurred in Gilroy, California recently. A young bachelor came home, discovered the front door to his apartment was ajar, fearful- ly crept inside to discover... His bed made, his dishes washed, his trash dumped, his newspapers stacked, his ironing board folded and a brand new set of drapes installed over his living room window. Oh yes...there was a note too. - A ni This way in the E.S.A. pen and said: "Dear Sir, I hope you don't mind. I cleaned your house. Don't worry. I won't take anything because my father is a Duke in Spain. Don't worry. I'll clean your house for as long as you live here". The note was signed, "Prince Eddie." Police doubt very much that Prince Eddie will make good on his promise to break in and clean up again, but the unidentified "victim" is leaving the vacuum cleaner and the Windex in the middle of the living room, just in case. And while most people think the high cost of dying is 'way out of whack, some folks don't think funerals cost enough. Philip Miuccio of Daytona Beach Florida, for one. Phil has just announced his internment plans -- he's having a $30,000 marble mausoleum built, complete with bulletproof amber windows. Sure, 30 grand is a lot of money for an Eternity Hutch, but this one has to be fairly roomy -- big enough to contain the bodies of Phil, his wife... SS aS ee. UL "It's a little strange, having the car in there with us," admits wife Anne, "but I don't think I'll mind." Gee, Anne, I don't think the car is nearly as strange as some of Phil's other ideas. Like bulletproof windows. Why any kind of windows in a mausoleum? Does Phil think the road to heaven is paved with radar traps? Meanwhile, back in the land of living, it is turning out to be a dog's life for Mister MacKenzie. Spuds MacKenzie that is, the be- shinered bull terrier with a face only a mother (or Don Cherry) could love. You may have seen Spuds shilling for a brand of beer on your TV set? Well, that cam- paign has spawned a whole mess of trouble for Spuds. First, his sponsors had to churn out dozens of press releases, insisting that Spuds does not belong to the dreaded Pit Bull category of Caninedom. (They're right. Spuds pedigree is about as close to a Pit Bulls as Elsie the Cows is to a Spanish Toro.) Then, Spuds got busted in Ohio for imperson- ot Bd Cee Oe. + Or Re 90 48 an ad in which Spuds, dressed in a red suit, is featured with a sack of frosty beer cans clutched in his, well, paw. That's a no-no in Ohio where Saint Nick is not allowed to appear in any promo- tions for booze. Turns out that if Spuds is guilty of anything, it's probably transvestism. Good old, beer swilling, macho Spuds, you see, is actually a she. It remains to be seen if the jock world of beer drinkers is ready to embrace a four-footed Jockette named, not Spuds, but Miss Honey Tree Evil Eye. (No kidding). Let me leave you with a Gladyernot. Gladyernots are little examples that Life throws up from time to time to make us thankful for our lot in life. You, for example, can be 'gladyernot': Head Coach of the Los Angeles Kings. In charge of a Polling Booth in Port au Prince. An old flame of Jessica Hahn's. : You can also be exceedingly 'gladyernot' Everlyn Mosely of Catis Kenthicky who last week suffered what may well be the most humiliating accident in the annals of Kentucky traffic viola- tions. Evelyn, you see, was struck by a speeding outhouse. She just happened to be at the wrong place in downtown Cadiz as the Trigg County Ham Festival Parade went by. Four men push- ing a wheeled privy (they know how to have a fun time in Cadiz) lost control of it. The rogue out- house whizzed down the street, jumped a curb and flew into the parking lot where it sought out Evelyn Mosely and ran her down. She's in hospital and recover- ing nicely. Aren't you gladyernot Evelyn Mosely? Don't you feel better about yourself already? ----