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Terrace Bay News, 20 Aug 1970, p. 9

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AUGUST 20, 1970 TERRACE BAY NEWS PAGE 9 STUDENT ACCOMMODATION ROOM AND BOARD FOR OUT OF TOWN HIGH sC URGENTLY REQUIRED IF YOU CAN HELP T THE SPECIAL EDUCATION THAT TE IN TERRACE BAY AND SCHREIBER. PROVIDES THEY AND OUR COMMUNITIES BENEFIT. PLEASE CONTACT THE TERRACE BAY HIGH SCHO FINAL ARRANGEMENTS AND PARENTS. THE LAKE SUPERIOR BOARD OF EDUCATION W. W. HOOL STUDENTS IS HESE YOUNGSTERS FROM MANITOUWADGE GET RRACE BAY HIGH SCHOOL NOW OL FOR PARTICULARS. WILL BE MADE DIRECTLY WITH THE STUDENTS ROWSOME, PRINCIPAL. BILL SMILEY'S COLUMN This summer I feel distinctly that some malicious witch or warlock has put a curse on me. Don't ask me why. I ain't done nothin' to nobody. There's been nothing serious or tragic. Just a lot of little things that seem to wind up spelling hex. Why, for example, should there be a huge wasp's nest in the middle of my hedge, when the filthy little brutes have never built there before? Why should I trip over a rock, take a chunk the size of a silver dollar out of my shin, and sprain my thumb trying to save myself? Why should my waist-line suddenly leap from 31 to a snug 32? Why should my daughter fall in love with a guy of whom she says, "I wouldn't marry him if he were the last man in the world"? But it's not just what hap- pened to me. I seem to be carrying the spell around with me, and am beginning to feel like a Jonah. Went to a delightful party. Everyone was pleasant. Except that a couple of 200-pounders wound up in a state of deep umbrage. That's a sort of purple. One had told the other, during a discussion of exercise, jogging and waistlines, that he was "just a big, fat pig." Not nice. But why was I the only male left to keep them from coming to carnage? All 140 pounds of me. Went sailing with friends on a perfect summer day. Why did a terrific storm come out of nowhere? Because 1 was on board. I'm sure of it. Last Sunday, went out as crew with a friend who races his sailboat. He didn't figure on winning, with a crewman who doesn't know a luff from a larboard. But he also didn't figure on winding up two miles behind every other boat, includ- ing one he beats regularly. We hit every patch of dead calm in the bay, while the other boats invariably caught a breeze which would vanish by the time we got there. Why? Another friend invited me for a day's fishing. Came the day, ideal for fishing. Came also a phone call saying he'd put a rod through his crankshaft, or some- thing equally horrible, and his motor was ruined. You think that was just coincidence? The other night I did go fishing with my brother-in-law. Good boat, good motor, lots of worms and minnows, perfect time of evening, and a hot spot where he'd picked up some nice bass the day before. I don't have to tell you what we caught. About four pounds of weeds, while a chap in the next boat hauled in a lunker. Last night we went out to visit another brother-in-law. They'd taken a cottage to get away from the terrible heat of the city for a week. That brief visit fixed him. Today it's sweaters and long pants weather, with a howling wind and the temperature down about forty degrees. They'll have a miserable week, thanks to me. These are just a few incidents from a catalogue as long as your leg. But I'm beginning to think that whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. And I'm getting mad. I can put up with my normal stupidity. Like a dunner from the revenue people for a $65 fine. Or going out to put our suitcases in the trunk of the car and finding it full of elm blocks for the fireplace which my father-in-law had given me last spring, and having to unload them in the heat and my brand new sport shirt. Or having the cat claw me about fhe head and shoulders on three separate oc- casions, because she doesn't like driving in a car. That was my wife's stupidity. But I can't help feeling that there's something sinister, some kind of a trend, in all the other little "accidents." Somebody out there is trying to get me. Today I'm convinced of it. Woke up with violent stomach cramps that turn me into a white, sweating wretch about every twenty minutes. Ate and drank the same things last night 'as the others in the house. Why should I be the only one to wind up with dire rear? Why? And then there was the barber who called the Better Business Bureau and asked, "Don't you have a better business that | can get into?" A lot of suburbanites have discovered that frees grow on money

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