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Page 12 TOWN TOPICS ~ Mr. & Mrs. C. Wise and family have returned home from holidays after visiting with parents and relatives in Minett, Port Credit and Kingston and Montreal. Time was also spent at Expo and they say it was tremendous and worth the effort to go. Mr. & Mrs. Jerry Papousek and sons have returned from Holland Marsh where they attended the wedding of Ann's brother George. It was also an occasion for a family re-union with brother John Holancin. Mrs. Aggie Sinkins has returned from a holidayin spent in Kitchener and Barrie. She also attended the wedding of her brother Jim in Toronto. Visitors to the Lakehead recentiy were Mrs. S. Stoyko and children and Mrs. K. . Pryor. Mrs. T.Pollard has returned from a visit with her mother Mrs. C.Gresdal at the Lakehead. Roger and Adelaide Boileau have returned from Kapuskasing after visiting Mr. & Mrs. T .Boileau, Roger's paren ts. ROSSPORT NEWS ( from Page 13) Lakehead visitors this week were Alfred Ray, Bill ' Hubelit, T. Seppala., Eugene Gerow, Mrs. Herb Legault, Mr. & Mrs. Herb Lif, Mr. & Mrs. Eugene Legault. - GOLF CLUB NEWS Our program of events for this season gets underway with Twilight Tournaments starting this week. A full program of events has been prepared in booklet form and should be obtained along with. your member- ship. The condition of the course is improving daily and the importance of replacing divots and avoiding the ndwly seeded areas cannot be over-stressed. Please obey the signs. Players are reminded to follow the new system of marking their score cards according to the instructions posted at the club house. CATHOLIC GIRLS CLUB TEA ( from Page II) Shack, Mrs. H.Duggan, Mrs. M.Ryan, Mrs. L. | Small. All girls wore centennial gowns as did the | models in the fashion show. One displayed by Mrs. Nelson Smith, of black silk with eyelet embroidery trim is over 100 years old. TERRACE BAY NEWS June 8, 1967 by BILL SMILEY Take pen in hand What's the most common question being batted about the country these days? That's right. It's, "Are you going to Expo?" Well, are you? If not, why not? You can't afford it? Of course you can. You mean you can't afford to miss it. Yeah, you say, but what about bread, loot, gelt, money? Nothing to it. Anybody who can't make some fast money in this ridiculous world deserves to starve to death, let alone not go to Expo. I have a few suggestions. In fact, I have quite a few, be- cause I've been giving the mat- ter of our own trip some thought. I've discarded one or two of them for various rea- sons, but it's every man to his own taste, and one or more of them might be just the ticket for you. Put your wife to work. If she's already working, and you still can't afford the trip, have an auction sale and get rid of a lot of that old junk you've accumulated over the years. This does not refer to your wife. If you haven't any old junk, think of something. Throw a bingo party. Chickenfeed, you say? All right then, how about throwing a martini party, at $5 a rattle, on the Monday of a holiday weekend, when every- body has run out of booze? You'd clear about $300. Buy some veterans' calen- dars, cut off one of your arms, and sell them door to door. Come on, you can figure out a gimmick. Send your kids out mowing lawns. If you have no kids, send your mother-in-law out mowing lawns. And if she's too decrepit, insure her heavi- ly and push her off a cliff. Arrange with a friend to bump your car gently from be- hind at a stop light, then run screaming to the doctor and claim you have a whiplash and . collect bags of insurance. No? How about some black- mail? Know anybody who's running around with somebody who shouldn't be running around with anybody? Have a moving van come in the middle of the night, remove all your furniture, then you set fire to the house and claim insurance for it and the furniture. You could clear $3,000 on this one. Speaking of moving vans, how about pushing your wife, or husband, in front of a mov- ing moving van, provided you have a joint account and mu- tual insurance? All of these are todo coarse, or common, or complicated for you? My, you are an old poke. So run a bookie joint, sell: pot, hold up a bank, if you want something simple. Against your principles? Well, all right, all right, but it shows the depths of depravity to which I can sink in the middle of the night, as I try to figure out how we can afford Expo plus all the redecorating my wife is doing. Well, you and your danged principles have forced me into it. Here's the deal. We're going to have a contest. Now, we all love contests, don't we? I have been writing this column for about 14 years, without miss- ing a week. I want a week off to go to Expo. Still with me? I have a great many faithful readers (and no doubt a fair smattering of unfaithful ones, ' too). Many of them write very well, as I know from letters received. For the best guest column submitted, I will personally send a cheque for $25, along with an autographed copy of my latest book. The latést one is the one I haven't written for MacMillan Company. The other books I haven't written were not published by Mc- Lelland-Stewart and Prentice- Hall. ' This handsome award (so I'm not J. P. Morgan) will be supplemented by the Telegram News Service, 440 Front St. W., Toronto 2B. They will ei- ther double or triple the cash award, depending on their atti- tude when they read this, which is the first they've heard of it. 4 Topic: anything you like. Length: about' 700 words. Send all entries to above ad- dress. And.there you are. Cash. If you win, you can take your choice. You can hitch-hike to Expo and blow the whole bun- dle on high living. Or you can bet it on a horse, fly to Mont- real and rough it at the Queen El#abeth. This is real. today. Get cracking