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Terrace Bay News, 23 Nov 1950, p. 5

The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

"EXCLUS "PROBLEMS DISCUSSED IN HUSH-HUSH MEETING (Special to the Terrnce Bey News In an exclusive interview, THE NEWS learned the answers to most of our most pressing problems, ~ wide range of subjects was discussed and it is was a deep sense of Community responsibility that we print this interview, word for word as it happe- ned. That day started out like any other day, with the Editor delegating his Staff their various duties. He had just ordered your favourite (?) ace (?) reporter to inter- view Fire Chief Maitland regarding Christ- mas tree decorations, when a loud hulla- baloo was heard outside the office door, The Editor, being fleeter afoot, reached the door first. and the sight that met his eyes was enough to make him mow his lawn next week, There was a very decrepit team of horses standing there with two equally worn characters perched on the wagon. In more time than it takes to tell, the two characters were seated on the floor of the office. The smallest one (The one with the certain "air™ about him), loudly in- formed us that he was "CLEM",. The other one confirmed our worst suspicions by announcing that he was "HIR/M", Both of them needed a bath, The Editor, being a sen- sitive soul, asked that the interview be conducted at some distant point. The momentous interview was conducted in the basement of the Tavern, and, as promised above, we print it verbatim. Question: Gentlemen, have you secn our Town yet? answer: Wal, young feller, I went dow the road apiece but I cain't find the dang Town. Everywhich way I look, there is ony ways a house or a tree in he way. 50, body cain't see a dern thing. Question (To Hiram): What do you think of, Our pulp. MiLL? Answer: Wal, it's a right good mill 'n I'm right happy to be in Mr. Bill Borsum's gang, 'ceptin' there's too dang many ope- rators clutterin' up the place. With so many of them, how do they expect a feller to work up to the Manager job?? Question: Have you gentlemen any come ment to make about this Barn Dance? inswer: Wal, Sir, thet there Barn Dance is agonne be the social highlight and lowlight of the entire year, Now, you take the idear of the first hour being all waltzes, --Why, I kin jest see the local iG. Farmerettes just a-dippin' and a-glidin' around in the arms of some local yokel. tin then efter that, the squares and the foxtrots!! The sight of it will be enuff to make a rooster lay an egg. 'En, them straw hats and corn cob pipes will shure prove popular, especially the hats,-- they'll be right handy for workin' in the garden next summer, 'En, if you're gonna print this talk of ours, I wished you'd ask the citizens to be orderly like on account of them Legion fellers takin' my outhouse. It's purty strong, but not as strong as ifin it was built of bricks. Silas Jones told me thet they took his too,--I cain't figger out why they'd want two of them. flso, I hear tell that the prizes for the costumes are the darndest prizes. I shure hope thet whoever gits called up t' the stage is good naturedt! But, young man, you tell people thet they'd better be in Farm Clothes because those Legion Fellers will shure charge them one cent per pound, on the hoof, for the girl. Thet there lunch will shure be different from a tea-party affair, I hear. Enyways, the admission prices are $1.96, $2.13 and .96 cents--but you'd better watch your change, son. But, a real smart feller could mke it a free dance fer himself by being the first one to shake hands with me (Clem) and say - "Howdy Clem", Hiram drew the interview to a close by remarking that everyone should get their ticket early due to the people comin' in from out of Town. and so, -- as all good things must,-- our great day came to an end. The last that we saw of our esteemed visitors was the wagon, noisily jogging off into the twilight elong the overhead bridge. Our moment of greatness had come and gone, and all we have left, to look forward to, is THE BaRN DANCE TO-MORRO! NIGHT. 0-0-0 FOR SALE One pair of girl's white skates and boots, Size 7. Apply to House 110, Phone 64. LOST Green tafeta belt with ornamental buckle. Somewhere between House #185 and House #4. Finder please contact Mrs, J. Corrigan at House #4. 0-0-0

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