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WANTED 20 PEOPLE WANTEDFOR A FREE HEARINGAID TRIAL 25+ Years Experience 100% Canadian Made Cabinetry Quality Craftsmanship • Custom Made Kitchen & Bathroom Cabinetry • Closet Systems • Entertainment Units • Basement Renovations • Full Renovations & More! Visit Our 6,000 sq.ft. Design Centre: Units 2-3, 333 Wyecroft Rd.,Oakville 905.844.3332 | www.aromakitchens.ca • info@aromakitchens.ca Create Your Dream Look Initially, the congregation's reaction was, "Why?" "'Why are we doing this, we are already welcoming, what is the big deal?'" recalled Judy DeMone, co-chair of a committee that has worked over the past two years to- ward an affirming status for St. Paul's United Church. "Being welcoming suggests that those on the inside have the power to choose who to accept on the outside. This makes it sound like an act of charity to welcome those who are different," said De- Mone. "We have always been a welcoming, friendly church, but being affirming goes deeper and we want to be public, intentional and explicit in our commitment to diversity and inclusion." DeMone's co-chair, 17-year-old Thea Sheridan-Jonah, said she didn't understand in the begin- ning that her church was not ready to call itself affirming. "I go back and notice the little things - the baptism script that laid out one part for a mom and one part for a dad, the gendered wash- room signs all across our building, the songs that referred to people as just 'sister and brother,' and so many other little actions that we did not understand to be exclu- sive," said Sheridan-Jonah. To become an affirming con- gregation, there is an educational process and several steps to be completed, supported by Affirm United. "It was an understanding that saying we are welcoming is not enough, putting up a flag or plaque is not enough. We need to do the real work of allyship and learning, so that every member of our community understands that every person must not only be welcomed, but affirmed and in- volved fully," said Sheridan-Jo- nah. Today, the Rebecca Street church has gender-inclusive bathrooms and Scripture, poli- cies and a website that have been adjusted to omit gendered word- ing. "More importantly, we have made connections into our com- munity to people who benefit and need the work that affirming churches do and we hope to con- tinue working with all the people we have connected to," said Sheri- dan-Jonah. "St. Paul's is not affirmed, we are affirming. It is a verb. It is something we will continue to learn about, to adapt and grow. We have come really far in two years, but this process is not over - it is just beginning, and we can- not be more excited." For Sheridan-Jonah, the pro- cess was a transitional one. "I never knew how much I would grow, how much I would learn, and how much I needed this process. This process was about and for the person who has been excluded from churches their whole life, the person who has never felt safe in churches, who can walk into our church and see a rainbow flag, see our af- firming vision statement, inclu- sive marriage policy and gender- inclusive bathrooms, and know that even if the space is still learn- ing, it is at least trying. "We needed to understand that inclusion needs to be deeper, it needs to be not only inviting peo- ple to the pews on Sunday morn- ing, but inviting them to lead Sunday school, be in choir, come to the Saturday night potluck, and actively change our space to include them." Part of the church's multifold action plan includes expanding its outreach, said DeMone. Both co-chairs praised minis- ters Deborah Laforet and Caro- lyn Smith, who shared their pas- sion and played an "active and supportive role in our journey," said DeMone. "I believe this is essential to making this a meaningful change and not just a flag we fly or a plaque on the wall," said De- Mone. 'INCLUSION NEEDS TO BE DEEPER' From left, Judy DeMone, Thea Sheridan-Jonah, Minister Carolyn Smith and Minister Deborah Laforet were among those who worked to make St. Paul's an affirming ministry of the United Church of Canada. Graham Paine/Metroland NEWS CHURCH MAKES MEANINGFUL CHANGES ON WAY TO 'AFFIRMING' STATUS KATHY YANCHUS kyanchus@metroland.com