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Wednesday June 30, 1999 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER COMMENT Trying to understand this gam e ju s t not c ricket In England, the World-Cup of Cricket is right now under way and games will be played daily into next month. The 12- nation tournament showcases the thrill and skill of the game of cricket to two- billion fans watching it on television, placing it third in world spectator popu­ larity after the World Cup of Soccer and the Olympics. Cricket, as you know, is a game invented by the English and very popu­ lar in every commonwealth country around the world except Canada. In selecting a national pastime in which nothing appears to happen for days and days at a time - we chose curling. That, and Sports Canada, flatly refus­ es to sanction any sport named after a ground-dwelling bug that makes a really annoying sound by rubbing its back legs together. For this same reason, English hookworm (field hockey) has never caught on here. Still, nobody can explain the phenomenal success of the Beatles. So two-billion people are right now watching a game that starts each day at 11:30 a.m., finishes at 6:30 p.m. and can go on for as long as six days straight and possibly end in a tie. And there's no vio­ lence !!! Which I can't figure out because they do have wooden sticks - paddles or WILLIAM THOMAS AD The World's A Circus bats or something - so they could spear each other and rap each other over the head for five minutes, blood-drawing penalties, but they choose not to! They don't even spit on their opponents' faces or spew racial slurs at one another. (Try selling this sport to Nashville, Mr. Smarty Pants Garry Bettman.) Actually, it's not as if awful things do not happen in cricket because sometimes into the fifth or sixth day of continual play, a spectator will lapse into a coma and die of sunstroke. Often, this is the only thing that makes the highlight reel. South Africa, the favourite to win the World Cup recently beat India "with 16 balls to spare" in a contest that featured great fielding, superb batting, and "tight bowling." Okay, so if they're bowling with 16 balls to spare, you definitely do not want to be the equipment manager. If they're tight, welL who can blame them. And the stars of cricket have names like Frederick Spofforth, Montague Noble, Jonty Rhodes and Warwick Armstrong, names that are preceded by the word 'The" would sound like really expen­ sive hotels you'd kill to stay in while vis­ iting London. Believe it or not, the tiny town of Dain City, Ontario, has a cricket club and they sent me the rules of the game. No baseball field is big enough for crick­ et which requires a pitch of 500' X 550', so the Dain City Cricket Club plays its home games in the Ladies & Escorts Room at the Dainer. Tight bowling at its best. So, if you're one of those people who have the potential to appreciate and fol­ low the sport of cricket - say bridge players or people who park along Highway #427 to watch planes take off and land at Pearson Airport - here's how the game is played. A cricket team consists of 11 players: a bowler (pitcher), point, cover point, mid, mid on, short slip, third man, square leg, deep off, deep mid on, and a wicket keeper (catcher). The bowler or pitcher is not allowed to bend his arm, the catcher is not allowed to touch his wicket and nobody even looks at the guy with the short slip, not even the player covering his point. Although there are only 11 players, there are 21 different positions to be played which explains why this game was created by gentlemen and not math­ ematicians. And yes, it sure keeps the guy with the square leg hoppin'. Two wickets or targets are made up of three stumps, topped off with little wooden balls. Nobody except the umpire and Jonty Rhodes know what the wickets are for. But when a wicket gets hit, it could mean the end of an inning. This usually occurs late in the day on a Wednesday. By not hitting the wicket, a man from Sydney, Australia, once scored 452 runs in one match. His name was Sydney Australia. In a cricket match, you have two sides out in the field, one in and one out. Each man who's on the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes, you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out including the not outs, that's the end of the game. There are foul balls, fair balls and overs, if the bowler or pitcher whacks his wicket three times, he gets a "hat trick" and gets to wear a bowler hat. I am not making this up. T hat's why I think I 'll watch the World Cup of Cricket - j u s t to see if the guy with the bowler hat is also wearing the short slip. If he's not false eyelashes and a nipple ring, I'll have finally figured out w here Dennis Rodman went. Think about it - two-billion peo­ ple are watching cricket from now until July 20th. Let's hope they never get their hands on an uncut video o f The Brier or find out Three's Company is now in syndicated reruns. W e'll lose whole nations to the TV set. G> O A K V I L L E 8 4 5 -6 6 0 1 Town sh o u ld n 't reta in O akville H ydro control C o u n c il & S t a n d in g C o m m it t e e M e e t in g s No matter how good the investment may appear, no matter how much prof­ it the company may put into public cof­ fers, the Town of Oakville should not retain Oakville Hydro. The purpose of government is to regulate and legislate not to own and run businesses. The Town of Oakville is off-base in Letters to the Editor considering retaining Oakville Hydro. To say it is a way to shield us from future rate increases is naive. By keep­ ing rates artificially low, profit would be affected; at some point, rates would have to increase. Governments at all levels are noto­ riously inept at owning and operating businesses; most have come to that realization and have started to contract out services they provide; government is getting out of the business of running a business. The Town of Oakville should do likewise and sell Oakville Hydro. Rickart New Garden Tour proceeds helping kids in Kosovo On behalf o f all members of Physicians for Global Survival (PGS), we would like to express our sincere thanks for your help in publicizing the Oakville Spring Garden Tour held on May 30th, 1999, as a fundraising event. The Spring Garden Tour was a great success and everyone who attended truly enjoyed visiting the fabulous gar­ dens in Oakville. The event helped us inform people of the important work our group is doing for prevention of war, especially the elimination of nuclear weapons. It also raised funds to continue our work. As you know, the Kosovo war, NATO expansion, and recent skirmish­ es in South Asia have set back nuclear disarmament to the level of the early '80s. We feel our work is as urgent as ever in order to preserve all that is pre­ cious about the earth and humanity, including the beautiful gardens that have been groomed with considerable love, care, and skills. We would especially like to thank Wilma Blokhuis, Community Update editor, and photographers Ron Kuzyk and Peter Thompson. Their initial pub­ licity and the follow-up coverage was very helpful and much appreciated. Khursh Ahmed, PhD Treasurer (PGS Hamilton) Barbara Birkett, MD President (PGS Canada) Monday, July 5,1999 Planning & Development Council Council Chambers 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, August 3,1999 Community Services Committee 7:30 p.m. - Oakville Room Administrative Services Comm. 7:30 p.m. - Bronte Room Tuesday, July 6,1999 Council Meeting Council Chambers 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, August 4,1999 Planning & Development Council Council Chambers 7:30 p.m. Council & Committee Touchtone P hone Line 815-S959 1225 TRAFALGAR ROAD • OAKVILLE, ONTARIO • L6J 5A6 HAPPY CANADA DAY! SAUDERR ____ Good Furniture M ade Possible SALE EXTENDED 2 00 A d van ce B lvd .# U n it 10, B ra m p to n Manufacturers Warehouse Sale U P TO 7 0 % O F P SUGGESTED RETAIL PRICE W O T r a i S J W M M H W i P M S M T S SAVE the G ST an d P S T on Stack-A-Shelf & Sander Furniture Collections ____ ' Applies to all in-stock furniture and select Stack-A-Shelf products. 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