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A Love -- or a reasonable facsimile of it -- is in the air That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 7 | Thursday, February 11, 2016 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com h, love is in the air. Or, at least, love is supposed to be in the air. Actually, love darn well better be in the air, or so we're told -- not necessarily by our partners so much as by advertisers, who, in recent weeks, have been going straight for the heart. And the jugular. And the wallet. In case you've missed the advertising onslaught, or maybe even the subtle hints dropped by the love of your life ("You'd better not forget about `The Big Day' this year, Buster, or you'll be sleeping on the couch, in the garage, with the mice."), Sunday is my niece Dana's birthday. Oh, and it's also Valentine's Day. And while I'm all for my niece's birthday -- party on, girl, party on -- I'm pretty much all against Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong: while I can be a complete crank, a gargantuan grump, I'm not against love, per se. In fact, those who know me would grudgingly acknowledge I'm one of The Last Great Romantics. Seriously, I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy: you screen a movie with Meg Ryan falling in love, and I'll bring the goobers and popcorn. Further, if there's a romantic, goofy, groanworthy gesture to be made, I tend to make it: "Ah, honey, you really bought me roses to commemorate the rst time we got the stomach u together? That's... a little weird... and really thoughtful." Oh, and if there's a sappy poem to be inked, I ink it (and, dudes, keep in mind these Leonard Cohen-ish lines are copyrighted, so don't even think about it): Your love lls me up, like crackers and peanut butter. I almost love you more than golf, you're on par with my new putter. Still, I rail against Valentine's Day. Because I have this crazy notion love should be an everyday thing, not something we're goaded and guilted into celebrating on one commercially-driven day each year. Further, I believe romantic gestures of love should really be spontaneous and heartfelt. No? Did I mention the day -- named after some saint who literally lost his head over love -- has become a bit overblown? I came to this insightful conclusion after watching two ads: one offering advice on what to get a pet for Valentine's Day; another intimating if I truly love my main squeeze, I'd buy her a $42,000 luxury automobile. So, you're probably wondering, given my convictions, whether I'm even participating in Valentine's Day. Hell yeah. Do I look stupid (rhetorical question, kids, no need to answer)? Honestly, I'm not an idiot. So, for Valentine's Day, I got my love, well, never you mind what I got her. Let's just say that I won't be sleeping on the couch, in the garage, with the mice. And let's just say this beautiful, considerate, caring, romantic offering of pure unadul- terated love will indeed come adorned with an original poem that ever-so-romantically opens: Your love is better than crispy bacon, better than a martini (stirred, not shaken), better than the area around a geologically compromised fault-line that's quakin', and gads better than the Valentine's Day dinner I be bakin'.... Ah, love (or a reasonable facsimile) is in the air. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www. facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www. twitter.com/thesportjesters. February Special 8 oz AAA New York steak Served with potatoes, vegetables, garlic bread, and fried onions For $14.99 Open Day family pm 8 m 8a Visit our new location today! 2420 Lakeshore rd., W., Oakville Breakfast · Lunch · Dinner Mon. - Sat. 8am - 9pm Sun. 8am - 3pm Great Family DininG For over 40 years! 905-827-4851 NEW! UNfiNishEd italiaN madE fUrNitUrE. Since 1967 CREATE CREATE EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE LOVE A SECRET LOCKED IN YOUR HEART. OR TIED IN A BRILLIANT BOW. SHOW YOUR ONE-AND-ONLY STYLE IN STERLING SILVER AND 14K GOLD. SHARE YOUR #PANDORASTYLE AND DISCOVER MORE AT PANDORA.NET SHOWN: `JOINED TOGETHER' CHARM WITH HAND-SET PAVÉ INSET. upholstery & design diNiNg room tablEs, Chairs, barstools, bENChEs & morE! Choose your stain & fabric! 1000's of designer fabrics to choose. CUstom fiNishiNg! PANDORA STORE OPENING SPRING 2016 OAKVILLE PLACE HIRING ALL POSITIONS SEND RESUME TO: INFO@MARIANIJEWELLERS.COM © 2015 Pandora Jewelry, LLC · All rights reserved · PANDORA.NET 11-2345 Wyecroft Rd, Oakville · 905.616.3156 · www.baiers.ca