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(Continued from page 7) ° walkway â€" discriminatory to the handicapped ' lake View on scenic property â€" offends the visually impaired 7 0 his and her clbsetsl offends ‘his and his’ ‘her and her’ relationships. This is not an April lst item. This is no hoax. This is North America, 1994, as perpetrated by an obsessive, officious bunch of weasels that wouldn’t recognize a logical thought if it reared up and bit them on their fat retentive asses. This is the EGB operating inside the English lan- Changes to language make life more confusing W5 0F uaeg This seth tho uonghtple Inidgeno Pp 1 . .. gamepuiblc stres div esens,tmt ‘oserth Boy’rwiellb reeermmb ed "A ‘1‘..."onnnnn D AAAAAA Police want help in catching flasher A pleasant afternoon walk in the Oakdale Park and the surrounding areas near Trinity Church and Culham Street could have resulted into a more serious situation. It was the determi- nation of the numerous victims that reported the five separate incidents of indecent exposure which assisted the police in restoring order in the Town of Oakville. The suspect male, in each case, walked toward the women with his penis protruding outside of his pants. The women were all able to escape the suspect’s further advancements and reported the incident shortly there The Oakville Museum hosts an exciting new exhibit entitled Our Treasured Past Selections From The Oakville Museum Collection. This exhibit showcases some of the treasured artifacts in the Museum’s collec- [1011. The exhibit in the Customs House highlights artifacts which are trea- sured for their decorative value, for their sentimental value, or simply for who they belonged to. Some artifacts have stories associated with them, adding even greater significance. The Oakville Museum’s Collection com- prises a broad range of artifacts which reflect Oakville’s diverse heritage. I For more information about Our Treasured Past Selections From The Oakville Museum Collection, please call the museum at 845-3541. ‘Our Treasured Past’ exhibit at museum SOUTHERN ONTARIO I MONTREAL COMING-l FOR A FLAT RATE OF SOON $69.95 RESIDENTIAL $89.95 BUSINESS (PLUS APPLICABLE TAXES ACTIVATION FEE) AND WITH REVERSE CALLING'”, YOUR FRIENDS CAN CALL YOU TOO! FOR INFORMATION CALL: (416)-777-2600 OR 1-800-363-FLAT (SOME RESTRICTIONS APPLY) E. O.E. TIRED OF PAYING LONG DISTANCE BY THE MINUTE? HERE’S AN ECONOMICAL OPTION GAS FIREPLACES Also localed al 4155 Fainiew 8L, Burlington 681-WARM ‘ - - meéowr 202 <oc o>z o>F :84 >mm>m _z 406 SPEERS RD“ OAKVILLE DRE-SEASON 24 HRS. ANSWERING 338-9276 Hunter guage. This is the thought police running amok with .44 Magnum erasers. This has naturally got to stop. And lest you think Canada is any safer from the PC Mafia, recently the Ontario NDP government paid $10,000 to a consultant to translate a report riddled with political correct- ness and beaurocratic legalese INTO ENGLISH! Not that the NDP can understand the translation either, but it shows you the enormity of the problem. L I mean how far off is the day when an Eskimo Pie becomes an The police are looking for a sus- pect descn'bed as male, white, in his late 20’s, approximately six feet tall, with a medium build. He has short £0 Um" a“ 8m o. A. La Open Mon.- Thurs. 10: 00 am- 6. 00 pm. Friday 10: 00 am- 7.00 pm. Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm. SPEERS RD. FUTURE ' FLAMES Will the old become chronologi- cally-gifted or wrinkle-enhanced? Perhaps, liverspot blessed will be the least offensive term. A swamring at a shopping mall unfairly represents the cowardly thieves who participate, so it will have to, henceforth, be known as non-traditional shopping. A riot after a Stanley Cup victory or a World Series win can never be termed a riot. It reflects badly on those people smashing store win- dows and burning police cars. No, these events will soon be called post- dark hair and is clean shaven. On the day of these offenses, he was weaning blue shorts just above the knee, dark T-shin, and sun-glasses. He did not speak to any of the victims. If yoil think you may know who the suspect is, call Crimo Stoppers. ‘ If you have any information that leads to an arrest in this or any other case, you may be eligible for a cash reward of up to $1,000. You need not give your name and your information will be treated with complete anonymity. Crime Stoppers does not subscribe to call display. Please call 1-800-668-5151 or 825-TIPS (that’s 825-8477). THE OAKVILLE BEAVER Menufecturfig Guilty Sleep Products since 1967 ROW Mattress Inventory Reduction ALL PRICED TO SELL! game, public, stressâ€"divest alternative victory parades. In Florida, they’ll still fry con- victed killers, of course â€" it’s a growth industry in that state. But the convicts will be'referred to as mobil- ity-limited, stateâ€"sponsored clients. Those executed will be deemed ter- minally-inconvenienced, and :VV‘J w Super Low Price! Super Big Value! m . onducls give you better ponrans M 8224»: SUBJECT FEE OF $3.00 PER PERSON, NOT INCLUDED IN ADVERTlSED PRICE PAYABLE WHEN PORTRAITS ARE TAKEN. Pose lor advertised portraits our selection - on your choice ol background. Your lavorite props welcomed, Additional ses taken for o tional portrait cofiétion with no a ligation to urchasei No limit on the number olj advertised collections per lamily, but only one per subject Portrait sizes approximate. Hurry And Get This Special Portrait Value! THIS AREA KMART HAS A PERMANENT STUDIO OPEN 5 DAYS Tues. - Fri. 10AM - 7 PM Sat. 10 AM - 6 PM 3rd Line Rebecca Street, Oakville HOPEDALE MALL Price Guarantee 5 Comfort Guarantee“ Quality Gyaramee Ask for det5ils on these and other great Royal Customer Services ‘Lobster Boy’ will be as ‘Crustacean Person’. I mean, if we don’t soon stop the PC’ers from mutilating our vocabu- lary, we’re going to need a whole new dic ....... Oh sorry, that word could, of course, be demeaning to an arrogant, self-centered man formally knoivn as a cad. Oakville 490 Speers Rd (bet Dorval 4th Line) 842-9442 Free Area Delivery Free Lay-A-Way Free Financing ask for details ©1994 PCA Inl'l, Inc PEI mséf Brampton 338 Queen St. E. (west of hwy 410) 454-0298 ELECTROLYSIS Eyebrows arched and shaped Hairline pennanenlly contoured Facial hair mmoved Bikini line shaped Arms, Chest J: Backliair removed afilfififoffiPnfé’fit 845-8100 Please call for August 31, 1994 329 Lakeshore Rd. E. 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