The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Page 11, News, Tuesday, January 1, 1991 All the World's a Circus Learning to drive continued from page 2 "What? It sounded like we just clashed side mirrors with that transport truck, Jimmy? Did I mention solid, double lines mean don't pass? No? Well they do. "Here Jimmy, just yell 'home' into this box. No, I mean it. Yell 'home!' "Hi honey!...ain't that some- thing...yeah Jimmy's doing great...he's just activated the E-X dial 11 VocaLink to call you on the cellular...yeah...like 'Look Ma, no hands.' Ha, ha, ha...what a kid! "Look honey, FAX me the seating plan for Jeanette's wed- ding. I want to stop at the cater- er's. "What's that son? ~ No. Generally speaking there's not enough room between a tandem trailer and the guardrail...better pass him on the left. "Yeah honey...it's coming through now. Thanks honey. "What do you think, Jimmy? Crystal clear, eh? Portafax!...cel- lular compatible..international range.,.amazing, eh? "Why just last week Henderson FAXed me a revised agenda for the national sales meeting from his seat on an Air Canada flight over Winnipeg. Can you believe it? Problem was I have no idea who Henderson is...must have misdialed. But from an airplane to a car...incredi- ble. "Look out! Geez Jimmy! Well I didn't think it was neces- sary to explain the difference between an ON and OFF ramp, son. I mean it's pretty obvious. "Oil light? Ne, no...that's the recording light on my answering machine. You sée sometimes if I'm working at the computer and FAXing back reports to the office...I"ll put the answering machine on. I get a big laugh when people call me in the car and my message says 'I'm not in right now..." CORNS? Callouses" Remove them quick! and easily, "But seriously, Jimmy, driving can be a dangerous... "What? Yes, it does matter which way you go on a one way street. "As I was saying Jimmy...you remember when Herb Matheson drove off the Skyway and they had to wait until spring to get him and his car out of the bottom of the bay? "Well...yes it was windy on the Skyway, but the fact is, Herb was having a fight with his wife on the cellular and playing a little Nintendo on the laptop when his boss FAXes him his dismissal papers. Herb lost it, Jimmy. He pressed all the wrong buttons and the battery pack exploded driving the internal scanner aerial up his nose, piercing his brain. The coroner said the E-Z VocaLink hit Herb so hard on the side of the head, he could read the toll-free service number on his right tem- ple. They had to bury poor Herb with his acoustic coupler. "Oh no, Jimmy...not a chance son. Turn that off. If you're going to operate a motor vehicle properly...you're most certainly Not going to listen to rock music on the radio. "Good driving, Jimmy...great concentration." Northern Insights continued from page 2 forestry, as the Report calls for. Until-I see evidence that this-> fundamental weakness in forestry is being addressed, I am quite prepared to remain cynical, and relegate this latest forest report to a box with all the others. I've accumulated over the years - boxes of fine rhetoric, which do nothing to change what's actually happening in the real world. WOOFY' SNEAKERS? Fresh smelling sneakers are just a spray away with Scholl Sneaker Treater. A most effective shoe int for lasting freshness. Available from Scholl Footcare displays everywhere. Scholl 9 | Sneaker Treater°® "Berry Borchece Garth, Val, Dareth and Ainsley From your friends in Terrace Bay <a nace hy neonuDe and en " New born November 26, Thunder Bay. Proud grandparents are Helen and Edgar Leblanc of Schreiber and Lillian and Edwin Jantunen of Thunder Bay. BS eral O BD I) & Birth Announcement Prince Eero and Snow White Carole, x ke along with their seven dwarfs Grumpy Laura, Dopey Colin, Sleepy Amy, Doc Bryan, Sneezy Ashley, Bashful Justen and Happy Lisa are pleased to announce the a arrival of the newest member, Aaron €dward, 1990 at the P.A.G.H. 3 FA] 6, [Ee continued from page 4 fresh water in a non-spillable water container. Besides inadequate shelter, another problem many outdoor dogs experience is a lack of atten- tion from their family members. Dogs are social animals. They need love and _ attention. Unfortunately many outdoor dogs only see someone for the time it takes to place the animal's food bowl before it and give the pet a "pat on the head" If your dog is an outdoor dog, at least make sure it is comfort- able. An appropriately construct- ed doghouse inside a fenced-in yard or dog run is a good start. As well, make sure the dog receives plenty of attention. Take it for frequent walks, play with it SCOUTS CANADA Randall Kushnieryk P.0. Box 272 Schreiber, Ont. THANK YOU ___ We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who helped make our annual cheese drive a resounding success and for your support throughout the year. To you, a very Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year. Terrace Bay Boy Scouts and groom it. Provided your "best friend" with plenty of love and attention and your kindness will be returned several times over by your faithful, canine com- panion. If you would like a free pam- phlet entitled Ideal Doghouse For Ontario's Outdoor Dogs contact your local humane society or send a self-addressed, stamped enve- lope to: Publications Dept. Ontario S.P.C.A. (Ontario Humane Society) 620 Younge Street Newmarket, Ontario L3Y 4V8 N. Glenn Perrett Publications Coordinator THANK YOU Vhank you ta Dr. Ho pia oa tag aaa Maik ite eek es gtuen. Special thanks to Curtis and Laurte far ther Andrea & Krista for taking care of Chantal. "Thank you ta our friends for their visits and gifts. Louise & Nicole. Visiting Thunder Bay ? Shopping ? Site Seeing ? Find comfort at Paradise Ptlotel * Very clean rooms at Budget rates * Close to all major attractions * Variety of family restaurants within one block * Picnic Area * Reservations - phone ahead (807) 475-8628 Rhonda & Steve O'Brien (mgr.) 221 W. Arthur Street (Highway 11 - 17 B) Thunder Bay, Ontario P7E 5P7 Fishing ?