Terrace Bay Public Library Digital Collections

Terrace Bay News, 8 Oct 1986, p. 7

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You can help your teen with his drug problem (This is another in a series of columns on adolescent drug abuse.) By Ken Moffatt & Dennis Bernardi Addiction Research Foundation Since it began, this column has looked at various aspects of adoles- cent drug use. The previous article looked at some of its indicators. Per- haps it is time to talk about what steps can be taken by parents of teenagers with drug-related problems. While these steps are no insurance of a happy ending, they provide some general guidelines which can be use- ful in specific situations. (1) Don't Blow Your Cork! The most natural thing in the world for a parent to do upon discovering that his or her child uses drugs, is to hit the roof with rage, hurt, and fear. In this case, however, it is impor- tant to go against nature. If you must bang you head against a wall in order to calm down, don't do it in the presence of the child in question. In- itially, it is important to get perspec- tive and control with regard to your own emotions. (2) Get Information If you don't know anything about drugs, get some basic information to get you started. Our office can help you in that department and so can your pharmacist or family physician. (3) Establish Communication Try to build some communication bridges when you begin to discuss the issue with the child. You can express your concerns about some of the negative behaviours and attitudes you've noticed (e.g. moodiness, slop- piness, dropping school grades, drug- using friends, etc.) and ask for ex- planations. But you must also get across that you care and want to help! The ability to listen, and enabling the teengager to have confidence that you will continue to listen (rather than blow your top), will increase the chances that understanding can be established. The goal here is to establish a two-way communication. A word of caution: don't expect to solve the problem in one sitting! This is a long-term project. You may even want to involve a trusted family friend in early discussions, as a sort of neutral referee. (4) Establish a Drug Policy The bottom line is doing something about the adolescent's problems and abstaining from drugs. Merely cut- ting down on drug use should not be acceptable as a goal in the home. The home itself should be declared a non- "drug-storage-and-using zone. Try to get the child to move away from the drug-using environment. (5) Broaden Scope of Your Efforts Get perspective on the child's pro- blems and strong points by checking with teachers, other parents, and trusted friends. Speak to the parents of drug-using friend of the teenager as well. Go to professionals in order to ob- tain advice (Children's Aid, Public Health Nurse, Mental Health worker, AA, Al-Anon, Alateen, Thunder Bay Options for Youth, guidance coun- sellors; clergy, ARF, etc.). The more perspective and knowledge you can ' get, the more options you will see for yourself. Get to know the available resources. (6) Discipline If the adolescent's use of drugs is actually out of control, it is essential that he or she get professional help. At home, controls must be applied firmly which relate to expected be- haviours in the home, e.g. abstinence, school work, curfew, etc. Applying authority firmly does not mean doing so with contempt. It means without wavering--the tough application of love. It also means be- ing consistent while avoiding ultim- atums. The adolescent will usually express resentment at first, but eventually may show appreciation and relief at this illustration that the parents care. Some studies have shown that the highest incidence of drug ue occurs among students who are not expected at home at a particular time while the lowest incidence is found among students who have a curfew. We are talking here about firm but _ reasonable discipline, not oppression. (7) Communications Skills Don't be outraged, inconsistent, rejecting, wishy-washy, punitive, and holier-than-thou. Do be accepting, open, supportive, firm, consistent and humble. And know (or learn) how to listen! (8) Check Yourself Out In his Youth and Drugs: A Primer for Parents, Don Smyth has a series No * Ray eS BEFORE YOU BOY. 2. LET'S COMPARE MAYBE WE CAN SAVE YOU ""MONEY"' ON . AUTO & HOME ' CALL NO CHARGE 277 RED RIVER ROAD HUNDER BAY, ONTARIC P7B 1A9 of 12 statements for parents to con- sider. He asks us to determine the ex- tent to which the statements are true: (1) Our home life is characterized more by warmth and calm than by coldness and turmoil. (2) My life is one in which prin- ciples and beliefs are put ahead of career, friendships, and the general expectation of others. (3) I project a joyful and confident outlook. : (4) Laughter and humour are often heard in our home. (5) I usually speak in even tones rather than yell when I disagree with my child or spouse. (6) I strive to teach self-reliance to my child rather than doing everything for him. (7) Talking with my child and hearing about things that matter to Terrace Bay-Schrelber News, Wednesday, October 8, 1986, page 7 him or her are a vital part of my day. (8) I find more things to praise than to criticize with respect to each member of the family. (9) I practice respect for the laws (such as tax laws and public safety). (10) I am a moderate or non-user of alcohol. (11) I have seldom used prescrip- tion drugs such as tranquilizers. (12) I deal with anxiety in my life by positive means, such as a personal fitness or relaxation program. (9) You Can Make A Difference Don't let the drug mystique con- vince you that there's nothing you can do to help your child. Think back to your own youth and remember that adolescence is often a difficult, awk- ward, confusing, frustrating period at the best of times. You can make all the difference in the world! Any questions? Write: Addiction Research Foundation 104-1265 Arthur Street East Thunder Bay, Ontario, P7E 6E7 HALLOWE'EN COSTUME RENTAL ADULTS as low as $15.00 a night CHILDREN $8.00 a night Call ELISE KENNY at 825-9423 for more information. SIMCOE PLAZA 825-9379 or 9395 TERRACE BAY, ONTARIO (Mon. - Fri. 10:00 a.m. - 5 p.m.) THE LAW OFFICE OF EDWIN W. (TED) PAGET can now accommodate clients in Schreiber & Terrace Bay For appointment, call: or 824-3122 302 SCOTIA, 2nd Fl. (above Library) | SCHREIBER, ONTARIO (Tues. 9 - 12 a.m. & 1 - 5 p.m.) Please Note: Tuesday, Oct. 20th cancelled in Schreiber due to previous commitment District Manager -- P.O. Box 280 POT 2wW0 Written responses may be sent to: TERRACE BAY, Ontario PUBLIC NOTICE OPERATING PLAN REVIEW In accordance with Forest Management Plan No. 500800, signed between the Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources and Great West Timber Limited, a Draft Forest Operating Plan has been sub- mitted for the period April 1986 to March 1991, for the area outlined on the map. The public is invited to review the five-year plan during normal office hours and express their com- ments or concerns verbally or in writing. Ministry of Natural Resources Major Appliance Repairs Servicing done in your own home to ranges, washers, dryers, dishwashers, fridges, electric hot water tanks and electric heating units. Parts on hand for most makes and models. Bill Campbell Electric 824-2743 or 824-2574 Further information is available from and verbal comments may be directed to: BLACK RIVER FOREST SS FOREST MANAGEMENT AGREEMENT 4+ 500800 Richard J. Norkooli Acting Unit Forester Ministry of Natural Resources Servicing Jackfish, Terrace Bay, MANITOUWADGE, Ontario Schreiber, Rossport and Pays Plat. POT 2C0 Telephone: 807-826-3225 BACK IN TOWN FOR LIMITED TIME ONLY 'L & S FLOORING' - refinishing hardwood floors on Oct. 12th to Oct. 20th In addition, a public open house will be held Oc- tober 27, from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Ministry of Natural Resources office in Manitouwadge at which time the plan text and maps will be available for reviewing. All comments are to be submitted no later than . 'i F November 14, 1986. "bi \ Hon. Vincent G. Kerrio Ministry of Minister G ALL : Natural Mary Mogford oe Resources Deputy Minister Ontario 825-9556

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