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Page 2, Terrace Bay-Schreiber News, Wednesday, April 13, 1983 How to street-proof your kids by MARILYN LINTON Telling your kids, "Don't talk to stran- gers!" isn't good enough! Instead, re- Editor's note: reprint- ed by request. THANK YOU 1 would like to thank all my relatives and friends and the staff of The McCausland Hospital for their many mass cards, visits, gifts of flowers and food and the wonderful care offered me. , God Bless you all, Irene Moorey The Terrace Bay Ringette Club wishes to thank the following: - All who purchased tickets for our Easter Baskets raffle - The Ringette families whose contribu- tions of cash and Easter items made this project possible. - SPECIAL .THANKS to the Moms and Grandmoms whose handcrafted items (crocheted & pom pom animals, and ceramic egg trinket holders) made these baskets special. - Ringette Club members (& several non- members) who sold tickets. - Costa's for their discount on our candy purchases. - Moore's for displaying the baskets and assisting with the draws. - Anyone whose contributions not covered by the above. Our club is just getting its start this year and your support and assistance is greatly appreciated! * WINNERS: Larger basket: Janice Dunn Small basket: Tom Slavin ee mind them of Little Red Riding Hood. For there's the occasional wolf disguised as a granny lurking in the concrete forests of the city. The recent tragic death of Sharin' Mor- ningstar Keenan (ab- ducted from a_ tiny- perfect eyes-on-the- street neighborhood park) has made us con- cerned for the street safety of our kids. "'But there isn't a kid over the age of four who already doesn't know not to talk to strangers," an 11- year-old says. What, then, do we tell our youngsters? How do we street-proof them? "My -hunch is that various things can over- ride that warning,' says Dr. Paul Patterson, fa- ther of two, Director of the Child and Family Centre of London's Vic- toria Hospital and Asso- ciate Professor of Pedia- trics and Psychiatry at the University of West- ern Ontario. Patterson and others interviewed by the Sun (including Jim Christie, a father and principal of the school Sharin' at- tended) stress the im- portance of introducing kids to the tricks these people use to dodge the Don't Talk to Strangers rule. : '*All they have to do is to redefine what a stran- ger is and then a child is at their mercy," says Patterson. He advises us to role-play with our kids. Play out situations such as the following and if your kids make the wrong choice, tell 'em the real-life con- Ko wm iifies alld sequences may be dead- ly: e A stranger can say, "Your. mother is sick. She sent me to bring you to her. Come along."' e A stranger may offer something attractive. In the TV show, Diff rent Strokes, Arnold and his friend are lured into a, child-porn studio by of- fers from the friendly bike-shop owner/porn photographer to play video games and. eat pizza. ee e A stranger is kind, helpful and engages the child in a friendly con- versation: "Here, let me help you fix your bike. I have a toolbox at my house to help us fix that wheel." '"'The stranger under- cuts our parental rules by not appearing to be a stranger," explains Patterson. '""We, as pa- rents, haven't been scared enough!"' What happened to Sharin' was horrible and many parents would rather their kids not know the full details. But Rex Samuels, a cli- nical psychologist at St. Joseph's Health Centre believes that kids should know about "this type of person's mind."' "Kids should be told that this type of per- son is usually a smooth talker, a charmer. He wants to impress kids, to win them over. He can't handle people his own age so he chooses kids,"' says Samuels. Tell your kids this: Would an older kid play with someone four years his junior when he could play with someone his own age? Put this way, says Samuels, kids un- derstand how inappro- priate it is for an adult "'stranger" to try to befriend a child. Anyway, the Don't Talk to Strangers rule goes in one ear and out the other. A study of first-graders indicated that, when asked by a "'stranger" to get into his car, 85 per cent of the kids believed the so-called stranger's ruse and climbed right in. 'Parents in the past have felt it okay to preach," says London child psychologist Dr. David Wolfe. "Now, it's time to teach! We have to suggest to kids what to say or do in certain situations." There's a myth sur- rounding child abduct- ion that all kids are swept off the street, ab- ducted calmly, instant- ly. Paul Patterson doesn't belive it. But, he says, if we saw a kid screaming in a_ park, we'd assume it.was a child having a temper tantrum and that the adult with him was tak- ing him home. "'I think it's important that we tell kids to scream some- thing. 'You're a stran- ger! You're a stranger!' That would make peoples' ears prick up."' Though we don't want our kids to be rude or disrespectful to adults, experts says that the child who respects auth- ority unquestionably may respond to any adult's demands des- pite her own parents' warnings not to talk to strangers. Says Patter- son: "The goody-goody overly-compliant child is ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT Y\ SHOE PLACE \ FIRST ANNIVERSARY SALE sale runs from April 13 to 23 1 5% off all oe gee } in stock Mr. & Mrs. Michael McGrath are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Maureen to Craig Jorgenson son of Mr. & Mrs. Robert Jorgenson of Dorion, Ont. The wedding is to take place at 3:00 p.m., May 7th in Holy Angels Church, Schreiber, Ontario. . y. \ J ve. om Bp Mastercharge and Visa welcome Hours: Tues. to Sat. 1:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Fri. and Sat. 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Friday nite open 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m: lathe. aia tts THANK YOU We wish to thank our many friends, neighbours, relatives and all those friends who have moved on from Terrace Bay and Schreiber, for their many gifts, flowers, cards, food, visits,' concerned phone calls and words of encouragement, during my recent hospitalization and recovery. A special thanks to the Doctors, Nurses and Staff of The McCausland Hospital and McKellar Hospital for their quick action and wonderful care. We are proud to be small towners where people take the time to think of others. Your thought- fulness will always be remembered. Norma & Len Crockford usually the one at risk." Pinkerton's, the old- est and largest security company in the U.S., advises parents to teach kids the following self- protection rules: e Always travel in groups or with another child. © Never talk to a strang- er, walk with a stranger or get into a car with one. Don't believe a stranger who says some- one in your family was hurt and will take you to them. . e If confronted by a stranger, yell and run the other way. e After running, tell a policeman, a teacher or older friend that a stran- ger tried to annoy or molest you. Try to re- member where it hap- pened and what the stranger wore. These and 'hundreds of other good suggest- ions are also offered in A Parent's Guide to Streetproofing Children (Seal Books, 1982, $5.95). Co-authors Rich- ard.Gossage and Melvin Gunton, two Toronto dads, wrote the book to help increase the odds of children returning safely to their homes. Whether you tell your kids what to say or do in situations, or teach them self-defence, or use a family pass-word to en- sure trust - whatever you use is up to you, Gossage says. Just make sure you confront the issue: "Any child, including yours, may be lured." Jackie Hobbs, a ser- geant with Metro Po- lice's Community Pro- grams division, advises us "to teach kids that they have rights - in stead of merely saying 'Don't.' Remember, these'people use a lot of trickery with a child."' Block Parent Plans, Neighbourhood Watch programs, school "safe arrival" checks and police visiting schools are worth setting up, she adds. "Remember, a stranger seen three times by a kid in a park is no longer a stranger." A police inspector told the Sun how murders such as Sharin's hit home; he has two kids: '"*As much as you re- mind kids not to talk to strangers, the fact is you never know the enemy. There are some wolves among the sheep. And they may be dressed alike." In his view, a streetproof kid is a kid beyond her years - a 30- year-old head on a nine- year-old body. Few kids, if any, are that way: '"'Children need to learn a bit from experi- ence to develop street wisdom,"' says Paul Pat- terson. "But playing with fire, with traffic, with water and with strangers are all situat- ions where a _ good healthy fear - the fear of the Lord - is a good thing to instill in kids."' A quiz for parents If you can't answer YES to the following, use each as a discussion topic with your kids at home. Say the co- authors of A Parent's Guide to Streetproofing Children, "Start now - it's never too late' © Does your child know what to do if lost? © Have you ever discus- sed with your child what abnormal behaviour is? e Have you ever taken a walking tour of your neighbourhood? Do you know if there are any abandoned buildings? Vacant lots? Unlighted walkways? Creeks sub- ject to flooding? Do you know your child's fa- vourite play spaces? ® Does your child know when to reject adult authority? ® Does your child carry personal identification and medical informa- tion? © Can you account for your child's' where- abouts hourly? Do you _ know the names, ad- dresses, and phone numbers of your child's friends: Does your child know how and where to reach you at any time? Can you reach your child at any time? e Have you discussed with your child who might be the best people to approach if he or she needs help? © Do you know specific- ally how much money your child has to spend? ® Do you know the route your child takes to school? Have you walk- ed the route yourself? THANK YOU 1 would like to thank my family and friends for their calls, cards, visits, flowers, and all the baking sent to the house, also to both Costa's Foodmarket and Schreiber Foodmarket for the baskets of fruit. A special thanks to Dr. Adey and Dr. John Gooding and The Nurses on the 4th floor west at The Port Arthur General Hospital, and especially to my daughter Lorraine for driving me up to The Hospital and staying with me. Marg Nesbitt t