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PAGE I6 TERRACE BAY NEWS JULY 24, 1974 Amn Landers Dear Ann Landers: I've always had a secret ambition to be a newspaper editor. Today, for kicks, I edited the letter from the married woman who cited the reasons she was having "such a marvelous time " with another man. I hope she sees it and gets wise to herself. Why I'm Having Such A Marvelous Time With Another Woman. She always smells good. She acts like she is interested in what I have to say. Whenev- er she sees me, her first words are, "You look terrific. I've been counting the minut- es." She has a warm sense of humour and makes me laugh. She never seems to notice other men when she's with me. She often phones just to say, "I'm thinking about you, dear". She never lies to me although she could probably get away with it. She lets me know I'm an important part of her life. --- There's One Of Me Everywhere. Dear One: You did a lot more than edit, mister - Here's another letter on the same subject: Dear Ann: My wife made sure I saw the letter from the married woman who listed the reasons she is having such a marvelous time with an- other man. May I answer that addle-brained cheat? So he always smells good. Big deal. She only sees him when they meet for illicit sex. Smel -ling good is "routine preparation." Sure he's interested in what you have to say. Why not? He doesn't have to listen long. He's not meeting you secretly because you're a fine conversationalist. Of course he has a warm sense of humour and makes you laugh. He doesn't have to pay your bills. He never looks at another women when you're with him. Why should he? YOU are the "other woman. " How nice that he never lies to you. Lady, with rocks like you've got in your head, how would you know a lie from the truth? The next time you are with your lover, try to discuss the leaky roof, the tires that need replacing, tuition for your son who will be starting college next fall. If he is so goldarned marvelous, why don't you try living with him 24 hours a day-instead of three hours a week? -- A Husband. Dear Husband: I received dozens of letters from men who wanted to say a few words to that "addle-brained cheat." But yours was the best. Thanks for writing. Dear Ann: I wish I could trade places with the woman whose mother-in-law came over every other day and gave her house the "white glove" treatment. The final blow was when she told her daughter-in-law to take the dirty wash- cloth out of the corner of the sink. My mother-in-law calls me "crazy clean" because I change bed linen every week and wash and starch my curtains twice a year. She even told my husband I'm neurotic and should see a psychiatrist. i I won't let her help with the dishes be- cause she doesn't use soap or hot water-- just holds the dishes and silver under the faucet and calls it "done." What can I do about a woman-like this? -- D.C. ; Dear D.C.: Ignore her. for just such occasions. God gave you two ears Let her comments go 'in one and out the other. SLAFF OF THE WEEK ~ "Now, when your father comes jogging back here-- please don't laugh at the way his stomach bounces."