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PAGE 1I0 TERRACE BAY NEWS MARCH 7, 1973 SKI CLUB NEWS The Club Championship races will be held on Saturday and Sunday this com- ing weekend according to the following schedule. Slalom, Downhill and Combin- ed winners will be declared in each group and ribbons will be awarded. Saturday, March IOth - 2 p.m. Junior Girls - II and under, Junior Boys - II and under Sunday, March IIth - 2 p.m. Intermediate Girls - I2-I5 years; Inter -mediate Boys = I2-I5 years; Senior Ladies - I6 and over; Senior Men - I6 and over. Register now at the clubhouse. There will be pleasure skiing as usual on the back trails only during the races. Spectators are very welcome! WHAT CAUGHT MY EYE - By Ray Shank They certainly take their education seriously in Japan. Two Japanese students recently killed themselves, apparently disappointed with their ex- amination results. A I5-year-old boy rigged up a makeshift electric chair and electrocuted himself, and a girl, I3, set fire to herself. khkhkhkkhkkhkkk Latest big-selling item for the ladies is a bubble gum-scented body 0il - sometimes called eau de Dubble Bubble. It sells for $I per half ounce It's just a cheap perfume, but one Detroit store that sells the stuff re- ports that it's the hottest selling item in its boutique. The store owner says that when the body oil was first put on display, the store smelled more like a candy factory. It comes in various flavours =- Dubble Bubble, Baz- ooka, Fireballs, Sour Grapes, Sour Applies and Banana Gum. PETE EEE REE E An Australian and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar. The Scot queried the Aussie: "Do you have many Scotsmen in Australia?" "Not too many", the Australian replied. "our main problem is with rabbits." kkhkkkhkkk*x The Toronto Sun's action line col- umn accepts some very silly problems from subscribers. Like this one: "I need your help. On my way home from work the other night I bought a copy of Playboy for my husband because he always reads it. Well, he bought himself a copy too so now we have two copies that we don't need. I want to return the one I bought but the store manager says they don't take returns on books or magazines. The magazine costs $I and it really is a waste of money to buy two of them. Do you think you can help me?" First of all, if $I means so much to the lady, why did she bother buying the magazine? Secondly, there must be greater prob- lems in the city of Toronto than the one mentioned above. The Action Line column goffed in published it, I feel. khkkkhhkkhkkk Here's a cute little story out of United Press International's wire services. Seems when Arthur Baker of London, England refused to wed his gir girlfriend, Laura Alderman, she called off the affair. A court was told that Baker then .. (I) shouted through Laura's letterbox; (2) heaped soil on her windowsill; (3) and hung a pair of his undershorts over her window. The court ordered Baker to keep the peace for two years. Said Miss Alderman: "I will never marry him now. I never want to see him again. He's a little ¢ twerp." Baker, by the way is 69 years old. Miss Alderman is 74. khkkkkkkhkk%x In Lincoln, England, meanwhile, Jonathan Guinness, 42-year-old candi- date for the March I by-election in Lincoln, said in a recent pre-election campaign speech that razor blades should be left in the cells of convict ed murderers so they could commit sui- cide if they wanted to. Mr. Guinness, of course, is I00 per cent in favour o re-establishing the capital murder sentence. "Prisoners sentenced to die" said Guinness, "should be provided with a pill or something and then perhaps be gassed while they are unconscious". khkhkkkhkhhkk 3 Miami has some strange signs in front or near some of their churches. Like this one: "Attend Church Today Avoid the Easter Rush." Another reads "The Way You Have Been Playing Golf on Sundays, Wouldn't You Be Better Off In Church???" i continued page 12 ...