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a *. Page 12 Castor Earl the travellin' salesman? have no daughters. I don't say no very often. I did say no to the lad who came in with one of their airplane steps out of his truck, real casual like, and sizes up the grass which was ticklin' his knees. Then he sizes me up and I size him right back. He jerks a thumb towards the mower in the back of the truck. "Can I give you a little demonstration?" he says. "Sure," I says, and stands back to watch. He gets the machine fired up, throws 'er in high gear, and plunges into the grass. He hadn't gone five feet when When ol' P.T. Barnum -- at least I think it was P.T. -- said "there's a sucker born every minute', he must have been thinkin' of C.C. Earl. Got ya right off the bat, didn't I. You're all wonderin' what the second "C" stands for, eh? Well, I ain't tellin'. Movin' right along. I'm a sucker, a big one. I'm really an easy mark when it comes to travellin' salesmen... and there's so many.travellin' along my road, I'm just glad I don't EMBRUN PLUMBING DISCOUNT SUPPLY STORE EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR YOUR PLUMBING Repair -- Renovations -- or New Construction Visit our Showroom or Phone Industrial Park there was a clangin' and bangin' and she stops dead. He walks back holdin' a piece of metal in his hand. "Broke the blade," he says. 'Don't call me, I'll call you,"' I says. But I couldn't say no to the lads who pulled in one day with pictures which was supposed to give a bird's eye view of Earl Estate. I'd noticed a low flyin' plane a few days earlier but I figured it was just some tourists tryin' to get a peek at yours truly seein' as how 'ma famous columnist and all. The problem with this pic- ture was that my house was off in one corner and in the center was the neighbor's barns. Nice barns, mind you, but I didn't see no call to hang them in my parlor. Even after the high- flyin' salesman took some scissors, snipped off the barns, and said "How's this?", I still wasn't interested. And I said no to the fella who tried to sell me the ride- around lawnmower. He saw I had a big yard and figured I could use one. 'Well sir, he a truck full of fish. Fresh caught, they says, and quotes me a real good price. Better stock up, they says, with a 100 pound or so. Well, I bought 50 pound and there's still fish kickin' around the bottom of the freezer. The missus almost cut me up for bait when she got home that day. And I couldn't say no to the fella from Montral who pulled in with a station wagon loaded with clothes, all cut rate. Most of the shirts were polka-dotted and the main color was purple, but I bought some anyway. The cows don't know the dif- ference. I don't know why, but I can never turn away an insurance salesman. I own all kinds of protection, most of which I'll never collect on. My dog Bingo never let's any - of them in the yard without barkin' his fool head off, sort of like a warnin' to get ready.The only ones he doesn't bark at are the Jehovah's Witnesses. He marches them right up the lane as proud as you please. I can't say no to them either. JOHN CONSTRUCTION General Carpentry: Homes, Renovations, Siding Farm Buildings: Roofs & Dry Wall Finishing Rent the fantastic new Up & Out Hydro-Mist Machine for superior carpet clean- ing. Loosens and removes dirt, previ- ous shampoo residue, and up to 90% of the moistu rg in just one step. Save money.. get results just like : a professional! AVAILABLE FOR RENTAL 4 HOUR--8 HOUR-- OR OVERNIGHT BASIS LORAL HOME HARDWARE Ted Lehowski, Prop. RUSSELL, ONT., 445-2171 VICE & CRAIG Funeral Homes Inc. METCALFE 821-2120 WINCHESTER 774-2120 CHESTERVILLE 448-2120 Embrun 443-5258 MOREWOOD, ONT. 448-2683 MARIA « BIANCA'S GIFT & VARIETY SHOP 95 MILL ST. RUSSELL, ONT. "A little bit of everything" Expecting French cards soon Milk -- Bread -- Magazines Sealtest Ice Cream Large selection of Pasta Gifts -- Toys -- Curios Best selection of Hallmark cards in the area July Special BEACH TOWELS $3.1 9 Business Hours Monday - Saturday 10 a.m. - 11 p.m. Sunday A p.m. - 8 p.m. | 93 MILLS ST. 445-2875 RUSSELL Specializing in Pizzas & Submarines LUNCH MENU Home Cooked Meals (LUNCH WILL BE SERVED AT 12.00 NOON 'ro sho MONDAY : Roast Pork e ~ Potatoes e Peas e Roll & Butter $2.55 TUESDAY | Spaghetti with meatballs e Salad e Roll & Butter e $2.85 WEDNESDAY 'chili Con Carne On a Bune Salad e $1.95 THURSDAY : Cabbage Rolls e Mashed Potatoes e Carrots e Roll & Butter ¢ $2.35 FRIDAY: Roast Beef On a Kaiser e- Potato Salad e $2.25 Choice of soft drink, glass of milk, tea or coffee included in these prices. This Mid-day menu starting on JUNE 16, 1980.