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Page 6, News, Tuesday, July 31, 1990 ' -- Hr Lov QIRHLONLANLO® O' % ' o (K (Zesee ny. The family of Mrs. Esther Birch wish to take oS) this opportunity to send a very sincere and heart- felt thanks for the gererous gifts of food, cards and fovely floral arrangements. The donations © nade to the St. John's Anglican Church Brick Fund, the McCausland Hospital Building Fund, w the Heart ey Stroke Foundation, and mass cards, made in memory of our mother are deeply appreci- ated. A sincere thank-you to the Chimo Cfub for their their thoughtful service , Anglican Church ladies for the funch they provid- ed. Thank-you to Rev. Bob Elkins for his touch- ing and caring eulogy, and to Drs. Wilkes e Woldnik and aff the hospital staff at McCausland Hospital for their special care of our mother. Your thoughtfulness and acts of 3) 6, a ee < © Card of Thanks Kindness will always be remembered. Helen Krizan ey family Gail Moore ey family % and the Sp CLASSIFIEDS GET RESULTS ; ex-bikers. Gilles Pouliot, MPP Lake Nipigon "Helping | you is my job!" Seok | AT YOUR SERVICE | CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-268-7192 Monday to Friday During Business Hours You can easily spot a Mail Box Baseball player. If you're ever at a wedding, especially an Italian wedding, and a nice young girl asks a boy to dance by say- ing: "Do you wanna do the chicken?" and the kid gets a stupid, crooked grin on his face and says "Pa told me to stop doin' the chicken on account of it's illegal" - that's a Mail Box Baseball player, no doubt leading in all-star voting. Each time you see us rural folk buying mail boxes at Canadian Tire on Monday mornings you know the Port Colborne Cretins played a weekend series against the Duh! Wacked of Wainfleet on Lakeshore Road again. But hey, it's all good clean recreation. That's why we, the people of perpetual mail box purchasing are joining in the fun. Taking the lead from the game of slo-pitch, we're saying to ourselves - hey, there's no reason we can't partici- pate in recreational sports just because we're old, fat, unathletic and hung over most of the time. A bunch of us, beginning with this weekend are starting up a Vigilante Brick Ball League. Really. Our team consists of two plant workers, an engineer, a writer, two off-duty cops and two The bikers settled down into quiet country living after being tossed out of Satan's Choice for using excessive vio- lence during gang wars. We've got one guy named "Dunker" who is so unbalanced, the Ontario College of Psychiatrists and Psychologists have asked him to donate his cerebral and nervous systems to their research laboratory before he dies. It's Dunker's dream to actually stuff an entire Mail Box Baseball player in a standard- sized rural route mailbox. The object of Vigilante Brick Ball is to hide in the bushes and when we spot a team of Mail Box Baseball players, try and change the station on their car radio with bricks,without opening their doors or rolling down their win- dows. Then by taking a quick head count, the team with the least number of players will have to | All the world's a circus: cont'd from 5 get down on their hands a knees and drink ditch water. You win when you deliver | other team to their parents hou: and put them to bed, once agi without opening any doors windows. Seriously, I would urge all p ents to sit their teenagers do: and explain to them two ve important aspects of Mail b Baseball. First, no matter what they m have heard, there is no proft sional league or U.S. colle scholarships available for M Box Baseball. Second, the real threat to t continuance of this game - TI ABSENCE OF MAILBOX] COULD CONFUSE POSTIES! Knock it off. Mixed League Wed. Aug 1- Thurs. Aug 2- Fri. Aug 3- Sat. Aug 4- Sun. Aug 5- Mens' League Sun. Aug 5- Mon. Aug 6- Games This Week 6:00 p.m.- Catch 22 vs. Thunderbirds 7:30 p.m.- Misfits vs. Winston Lakers 6:00 p.m.- Deadheads vs. Birchs' 7:30.p.m.- Texaco vs. Cruisers 6:00 p.m.- B52s' vs. Hooters 7:30 p.m.- Buccanners vs. Stray Cats 6:00 p.m.- Top Guns vs. Thunderbirds 7:30 p.m.- Silver Bullets vs. Pistols 1:00 p.m.- Neon Knights vs. W. Lakers 2:30 p.m.- Catch 22 vs. Misfits 4:15 p.m.- Mavericks vs. Sabres 6:00 p.m.- Tigers vs. Devils 7:30 p.m.- Diggers vs. Crimestoppers 6:00 p.m.- Sluggers vs. Expos 7:30 p.m.- I-Team vs. Renegades ASSETS available include: TO: FOR SALE BUSINESS AND INCOME PROPERTY If you have always dreamed of being your own boss this opportuntiy should not be missed. A thriving business in downtown Schreiber is available for purchase. Owner willing to stay on and train new owner. FLOURISHING FLOWER & GIFT SHOP (business and commercial property) COMMERCIAL BUILDING (currently used to warehouse goods) 4 RESIDENTIAL UNITS currently rented out furnished and equipped with all necessities. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY SHOULD BE DIRECTED P.O. BOX 790 SCHREIBER, ONTARIO POT 2SO Court Repo Provincial Court was held Schreiber on the 25 July 19 with the following charges bei resolved. Provincial Judge Walneck presided. _ Herbert Finley of Terrace B was convicted with Impair Driving. He received a $300. fine and is prohibited from dr ing a motor vehicle for one yea Be Part of the "WINNER'S CIRCLE"! th A\ The War Amputations of Canadi SUPER MONSTER BINGO August 4th at Pays Plat Community Centre Doors open 12:00 pm Early Bird 1:00 p.m. Trade - in Bonanzas, 1 Early Bird half the take 1 Winner Takes All, 1 Last Chance, half the take 10 regular games $300.00 each 5 at $400.00 each 2 specials at $1000.00 2 Jackpots $5000.00 Free busing (departs Atkinson's Garage 10:30 a.m.) Tickets $100.00 each include all regular cards, Jackpot cards and Special cards.Call Doris 824-2855 or Ida 824-2541 OFFICE SPACE REQUIRED North of Superior Programs, a multi prograr human services agency is seeking approx mately 1100 square feet of office space i Schreiber. Separate offices are required for each worke (3) and a reasonably sized meeting, as we jas reception/secretarial/waiting room spac { ete: Inquiries directed to: Sally Laine Executive Director, North of Superior Programs P.O. Box 940 Geraldton, Ontario POT 1MO 807-854-1500