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Page 6, News, Tuesday, July 10, 1990 MINISTRY OF NATURAL RESOURCES As part of the Ministry of Natural Resources' ongoing program tto regenerate and protect our forests, select- ed forest stands in the Terrace Bay District will be sprayed with herbicide to control competing vegeta- tion, starting on or about: July 26, 1990 -|To obtain further information bout the program or to arrange to review project details and maps, contact: Paul Fantin Ministry of Natural Resources P.O. Box 309 Manitouwadge, Ontario POT 2C0 Telephone (807) 826-3225 As part of the Forest Management Agreement Program, Great West Timber Ltd. will be undertaking forest improvement projects with the application of herbicide to control competing vegetation on the Black River F.M.A. For further information on the Forest Management Agreement Program, please contact: Alison Drennan c/o Great West Timber Ltd P.O. Box 2891 Thunder Bay,-Ontario P7B 5G3 Telephone Thunder Bay (807) 345-0571 Manitouwadge (807) 826-3205 Renseignements offerts en francais au numero suiv- ant: (807) 826-3225 Ministry of Ministére des Natural Richesses Resources naturelles All the World's | cITCUS: cont'd from page 5 future may hold for him, robbing banks is not on the list. But my all-time, absolute, No. 1 story on the BAD BANK ROB- BERS HIT PARADE took place just last week in Southern Florida and if I'm making this up, may the Whooping-cough vaccination I have on my left shoulder open up and fester for the rest of my natural life. FOLKS-THIS IS TRUE! THIS IS TRUE! THIS IS TRUE! Recently a man marched con- fidently into a bank in Southern Florida presented his hold-up note to a teller and calmly headed for the front door with his loot, where he was stopped cold and cuffed by security police. The man was incredulous at being caught. He was stunned. He was indignant. A friend of his, he explained, had assured him that if he smeared his face with lemon juice-sit down Syd, here it comes- he would be invisible to the bank's security cameras. Solely for the enjoyment of you who are fans of Star Trek and I Dream of Genie I'd like to repeat this bank robber's modas operandi": He believed if he smeared his face with lemon juice, he would be invisible to the bank's security cameras. It's a shame he didn't make it to the street because although the report I read doesn't say so, I think he probably had one of those bicycles like the one E.T. flew off on during the police chase scene in the movie. The question begs to be asked: What if it worked? Can you imagine the cajillions of dollars the U.S. Pentagon could have saved on building the invisible Stealth Bomber if all they had to do was rub concen- trated lemon juice on their mili- tary aircraft? Unless something is done, I fear banks are fast approaching Ladies 20 * Sele Fashions by * MUR MADE * (__HUMECARD | poten Kids 20-50 *" (regular priced merchandise) don t miss our *BARGAIN BIN* SPADONI'S -- gD4d5ug eS See aa 4 ai the point of replacing their silent alarm systems with laugh tracks. Well what are we, the people who put money into banks and trust in our fellow man to learn of these stories? I, for one, think theses particu- lar bank robbers should be set free on the basis that at the time the crime was committed each and everyone of them were tem- porarily too stupid to know what they were doing and hence bun- gled not only the bank job but also an opportunity of a guest appearance of Geraldo. I mean really, what harm have these guys done except to the rat- ings of the Benny Hill Show? Perhaps a diploma-granting course at the Community College like Decent Bank Robbing No. 101 or even a simple Bank Robber Basic Handbook would help. Tip No. 1 Take all precau- tionary measures not to shoot yourself when brandishing your firearm. Tip No. 2 Lemon juice can be effective in removing blood stains from denim but it will NOT - repeat- will NOT make you invisible to security cameras. Tip No. 3 Unless asked, never offer your name, address, home phone number and place of last employment. Etc. Etc. I really do believe these guys should be let out of jail, serial television needs them a lot more than the U.S. prison system. Maybe we could spring them. Yeah, that's it. Me, you and a guy who's good at the wheel - we'll go to the jails where these bank rob- bers are being held and in the dead of night we'll stand outside the prison gates and shine heavy- duty flashlights up to the roof and then the robbers can slide down the beam to freedom. The blind bank robber will just have to trust us on this one. Or better yet, we could smug- gle "flat" pills into the prison and then fax them out during library hours. Or on laundry pick-up day they could impersonate pairs of men's Fruit Of The Loom and... Northern Insights continued from page 5 federal government for not taking part in the justice experiment, either financially or with policy initiatives. He asked for federal help to "move ahead with projects that create a role for the applica- tion of our customary law and tra- ditional dispute resolution mecha- nisms." Fiddler and other native leaders said they are willing to take time to do that - to experi- ment with ways of gradually enhancing the role of the elders' council, while taking pains not to compromise anyone's rights under the Charter of Rights, or allowing favoritism to creep into the new justice system. The swearing-in ceremony closed with a traditional drum dancing song, performed by five young men called "The Sandy Lake Singers". The rhythmic drumming seemed extra loud, reverberating inside the gym. As the drumming and wailing reached its climax, the electricity failed. The school gym plunged into blackness. Sandy Lake is used to power failure, just like they're used to governments breaking promises. The old diesel generators cut out at least twice a day. But the Sandy Lake singers were not distracted. They Terrace Bay/Schreiber News aboriginal side and on the govern- ment side, on the ground, in self- government institutions. This (justice project in Sandy Lake) is just a small experiment in that area." This experiment in aboriginal self-government is not seen by anyone as a final solution to the historic problems of bringing southern justice to the far north. Chief Jonas Fiddler called it "a stepping stone - only a small part of what has to done with respect to the administration of justice in Sandy Lake." He criticized the undeterred by the power failure. Sandy Lake people are like that. They persevere. Somehow, it seems not to matter whether the rest of Canada gets tied up in con- stitutional knots, and ignores abo- riginal desires for self-govern- ment. Like the singers, the peo- ple of Sandy Lake will just carry on, establishing mechanisms that wrestle control away from far-off administrators in southern Ontario. Then, when Canada's first ministers and aboriginal leaders again sit down to talk about enshrining aboriginal self- government in the constitution, they won't be talking about some- thing abstract. Sandy Lake will already have built a model worth studying. New Business... Advertise in the And get the biggest bang for your advertising dollar! 'Call 825-3747 for details (_SLOWPITCH TOURNAMENT LAKE HELEN OUTLAW'S 2nd ANNUAL MIXED JULY 13, 14 & 15 J.Wawia 887-2139...C.John 887-2521 Lake Helen Reserve $2,200 in Prizes First 12 paid teams accepted DEADLINE TO ENTER JULY 10