Terrace Bay-Schreiber News, Wednesday, February 8, 1984, page 19 |class marketplace Office Hours: Tuesday-Friday 9:00-12:00 1:00-5:00 ' DEADLINE: FRIDAY NOON. Mail your advertisement to P.O. Bo 79, Terrace Bay, or bring it to our office at Simcoe Plaza Bookkeeping vs Lovekeeping | by T. LOTTMAN One symptom of dis- couragement in mar- riages is when the couple appears to have traded in their marriage certificates for a balance sheet. Feeling cheated by the world, they are determined not to be short-changed by their spouse. Fueled by mis- trust, they continually pursue the game of "'debit and credit" might be: Husband: "I took her té figure skat- ing last week. This week it's your turn." Wife: "Yeah, well who was up yesterday at six for hockey?"' Husband: "I get up at six every nmrorning!" Wife: "Yeah, but you're off by, five. I'm still doing dish- es and wash at ten!" Husband: "Well if you weren't out visiting all _ day" ... and so on. This game of rigid ac-' counting seems to be , accumulate played according to spe- cific strategies. First, a good '*debit-credit" player always keeps tabs on the activities of - his spouse while on the other hand, never lets his spouse know what he is doing. He demands a minute by minute report of his wife's shopping trip and re-interprets it as a pleasurable outing. He goes out for cigar- ettes and returns three hours later with no ex- planation. He takes a secret delight in "put- ting one over" on her and feels a sense of re- lief in making sure he hasn't been cheated. Another strategy of the "debit-credit" play- er is to occasionally give in on little matters to "1.0.U.'s"' that can later be cashed in for something she really wants. She lets herself be dragged to the hockey game, re- mains quiet when her husband goes out with the boys, but is sure to remind him of these I.0.U.'s_ when she changes his plans for a fishing trip into a visit to her mother. A third rule for the "'debit-credit" player is that a spouse's enjoy- ment must never be shared; but rather coun- tered with an insistence on your own opportun- ity for pleasure. This is perhaps the most des- tructive element of the game because it ex- cludes: mutual satis- faction in the marriage. This is just as true in bed as it is in front of the T.V. A husband may be truly enjoying watching the Emmy Awards with his wife but he must not let it show. Later when he wants to watch the Leafs he reminds her how they watched 'ther show" the night be- fore. Everything is eith- er a. debit or credit. Un- © fortunately this attitude is often just as preva- lent in the relationship to the children. An extreme, one- sided version of the "'debit-credit" game is the "where would you be without me" man- euver. In this version the player achieves a position of superiority by. simultaneously de- claring her own unself- ishness and her spouse's ingratitude. This maneuver involves a recitation of a litany of self-sacrifice for one's mate implying that his basic survival and worth would be threatened if it were not for these sac- rifices. "I wash your: clothes, fix your meals, raise your 'kids, lie to your boss when you're too hung over to work,"' etc. " Feelings of superior- ity are attained by com- paring one's martyrdom with a spouse's we .1- lessness. Occasionally there. are couples for whom even the marriage itself is treated as a redemptive act. The dis- couraged pezson feels - superior by marrying someone less attractive, less educated or from a 'lower class and then 'playing "where would. -you be without me."' Marriage is truly a. matter of give and take. However, a rigid ac- counting of this exchan- ge that underlies the- games presented here, removes the pleasure from the giving and the gtatitude from the tak- ing. The ultimate bal- ance in the marriage is. just what each de- 'serve, zero. Next week, in the final: article in this series we will look at ways dis- 'couraged couples can redirect their marria- ges along more cour- ageous lines. ANNOUNCEMENTS Conference to be held _ Strengths and Stress- es will be held on Sun- day, February 19, 1984, from 1-4:30 p.m., at Confederation College' Seminar Centre. The purpose of the conference is to pro- vide information on how families adapt and how they manage the care of the child. It will also offer support through group discussions. Liz and Ken Roulston, parents, will talk about their experience and how they have manag- ed their lives during the past three years. Melanie Waite, M.S.W., a Professor at Lakehead University, will discuss ways in which various types of families adjust to the stresses. Allen Young, Ph.D. Psychology,. will _ add- ress two topics: the "ages and stages" of child development and how diagnosis and treat- ment at certain ages may affect the child plus the brothers and _ sis- ters - how do they re- act? Dr. John Limbert, M.D., will outline pa- rent's rights and how they can work at estab- lishing an open relation- ship with their doc- tors. He will then focus on how parents can strengthen the marital relationship. Babysitting is avail- able by pre-registra- tion at. the College's Seminar. Centre for children over 2 years of age. The registr- ation fee of $5.00 a couple or $3.00 a single Dive Club... continued from page 7 Scuba Club, Madison, Wisconsin were circul- ated. Ryan LeBlanc an- nounced the water Archeological Seminar and Work- shop" hosted 'by the Ontario Underwater Council to be held March 2 to 4, 1984. The programme is designed as an introduction to archeology, recording techniques, conserva- tion, licensing and re- port production and in- cludes practical pool sessions and local pro- jects. There is a limit to the number of partici- pants. Contact Ryan at "Under-: mation. Underwater Canada '84, the internationally acclaimed "Sport Diy- ing Conference" will be held in Toronto, March 23-25. For further infor- mation write Underwat- er Canada '84, 1220 Sheppard Ave. E., Willowdale, Ontario M2K 2X1. Ryan LeBlanc will be conducting a course to certify new Scuba diy- ers soon. He can be con- tacted at 824-2315. Anyone interested in the North Shore Dive Club's activities should call Steve Badger at 825- 9387. includes. babysitting. For further informa- tion call Gerri -Cos- New ambulance system .... continued from page 5 because of environment- al conditions and vast distances between com- munities. Since the new system does not depend on telephone. lines, it will greatly increase the reliability of radio com- munications and provide a more effective emer- gency health services network."' Based in Thunder Bay, it will link all hospi- tals, ambulance. ser- vices and dispatch cen- tres in the district from Hornepayne in the east to Pickle Lake and Ati- kokan to the west. The new communica- tions network will allow hospitals to communi- cate with each other, and in disaster situat- ions it will enable the co-ordination from Thunder Bay of emer- gency services in all the district's hospitals. The network 'will 'also provide a base for the future development of emergency health care, continued from page 18 you would just turn it back to the leasing com- pany and pick wp your new vehicle - they have to worry about getting tid of your 100,000 mile clunker. Now, if you don't put a lot of miles on your car, you have to weigh the cost of bank finan- cing on a new car if you bought it with the em- bedded interest rate in a grove at 623-6655 or the Seminar Centre, Con- federation College at 475-6380. including advanced life- support and paramedic services. As part of the new system, land ambulan- ces will be equipped-to act as mobile repeater stations so attendants who have to leave their vehicles can carry a portable radio and still maintain contact with dispatch centre or hos- pital. The contract to supply, develop: and maintain the new sys- tem. goes to Motorola Limited in Willowdale, with work expected to get under way immed- iately. The Ontario Min- istries of Northern Af- fairs and Industry and Trade have assisted the Health Ministry in plan- ning the project, which will be developed and tested in conjunction with the Ministry of Government Services. The project has been approved locally by the Algoma, Thunder Bay and'Kenora-Rainy River District Health Coun- cils. goats lease. - will find rate*on the 'loan 4s a 'tot' lower than-the. rate on the lease, so your monthly payments may . work out about the same or even less. In this case, how- ever, there's one im- portant advantage to buying - you have a car that's your's to keep when you're finished with the payments. Electrolux Canada sales and service of vacuum cleaners, shampooers and supplies. Will consider trade-ins. Call Jacques Roy 825-9182 167 Birch Cres. Terrace Bay. F-8 "'Boughen -- Nurseries." Valley River, Manitoba. - ROL 2B0. Hardy Nursery stock. Largest selection of Apples, Pears, Plums, Cherries, small fruits, Shrubs and Evergreens.: Guaranteed. Many satis- fied customers in Ontario and Quebec. Over 70 years in business. Write for free catalogue. Mar- 28 Cars/Trucks '74. Plymouth Barracuda. As is $400. Phone 824-2269. REAL ESTATE House for sale: 4 years old, 4 bedroom, 3 baths, all electric, with fireplace, fin- ished basement. Over 1600 ft. Asking $95,000. Serious inquiries only. Call: 825-9314 after 6:00 p.m. for appt. F-8 Easily accessible remote 4 ie for sale. Serious in- quiries only. Phone 825- 3350 or 824-2735 after 5:00 p.m. or contact J.R. Smith or M. Osmar at K.C. plant Terrace Bay. F-8 House for sale: '2 bed- room house in Schreiber - for more information call 824-2550 after 5:00 at Snowmobiles For sale: Arctic Cat Lynx 250S, 1980, good condition, below average use, tach., fuel gauge. 825-9081. F-8 WANTED Wanted to buy: 1 baby crib and mattress in good con- dition and 1 medium size dresser. Phone nate 8 Wanted to buy: used sew- ing machine in good condi- tion. Phone 824-3319. F-8 One typing table or desk in working condition. Phone 825-3747 (days only). F-8 Work Wanted Single 26 year old man willing to work in Terrace Bay or surrounding area. Short or long term employ- ment. Phone 825-3878. F-8 Travelling to Thunder Bay? Stay at the Circle Inn. We are Offering 10% off our regular rates of: $28.95 single for 2 $33.95 double for 2 $36.95 double for 3 $37.95 double for 4 We are centrally located between Keskus Mall and the new Intercity Shopping Mall. Call collect for reservations: 807-344- 5744. Circle Inn Motel 686 Memorial Ave. F-8 Thunder Bay, Ontario blue 1977 3/4 ton club Cab - automatic, power, air conditioning, cruise con- Se trol, complete with truck ; cap. Phone 824-2755. F-8 For sale: 1977 green Econo- van, standard V8, brand new paint job, customized interior - stereo - 4 leather captain's seats. In good condition. Phone 824-2755. F-8 For sale: 1973 Comet 302, 75,000 miles, automatic. A clean chimney 1 bull worker 1 bar 1 heavy boxing bag neti 4 «for Sale by sealed bid the following: that the interest | cubes 2 of 50 Ib. weights (metal) 2 of 35 Ib. weights (metal) 7 of 10 Ib. weights (plastic) 4 of 21/2 lb. weights (plastic) Bids will be accepted up to February 15, 1984. The highest bid will not necessarily be accepted. Upon acceptance of a bid, the goods must be picked u by February 24, 1984 and payment must be made by certified cheque or cash. Price negotiable. Phone § is safer and more. 324.0488 F-15 efficient! Call us! i Help Wanted D & R Chimney Ph Solicit ted one Solicitor wanted: cate la part time, flexible hours. 825-9473 For more information call ___ anytime Jack 825-9182. -3 am my . SO es Bank of Montreal (INSURANCE) Before You Buy Let's Compare Maybe we-can save | you some money on: * Auto * Home * Life Call Dave Lambert or Mike Jones TOLL FREE 1-800-465-3916 Lambert, & Associates Insurance Agencies kas eee Bay, Ont. J ATTENTION LOTO PLAYERS 6/36, 6/39, 6/49 Improve your chances of winning when you play your favorite numbers when using the new numerical analysis. Bea winner with: *'Wonder Book" W-Winning 0-On N-Numbers D-Deserves E-Excellent R-Returns Mail ee your copy today. Send 55.00 postage and handling included to: . "WONDER BOOK" P.O. Box 400 Val Caron, Ontario POM 3A0 Satisfaction Guaranteed Available in French & English All persons having claims against the Estate of Teodor Kuzio, late of 503 Lakeview Drive, Terrace Bay who died November 25th, 1983, are required to file proof of same with the under- signed on or before Feb- ruary 20th, 1984 after which date the Estate will be distributed with regard only to the claims of which the under- 4 'signed shall then have notice and the under- signed will not be liable 4. to any person of whose claim he shall not then We HENCE! Dated at Terrace Bay this 20th day of January T984_ 1 George Dashkewytch, Executor, by his solicitor herein, M. Deborah Stewart, P.O. Box 220, Terrace Bay, Ontario, POT 2WO