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12 NORSHORE SENTINEL Thursday April 13. 1961 SUGAR 'N' SPICE By BILL SMILEY A VISITOR FROM OUTER SPACE One of my Grade 11 students is intensely interested in unidentified flying objects, and visitors from outer space, I think he expected me to scoff when he told me about it. On the contrary, I assured him there was nothing ridiculous about such stories, and mentioned one such visitor I'd had myself. He spread the word, and next thing I knew, all the kids in the class were clamoring to hear the story. There was no choice but to read it to them, just as I had put it down two years ago. Most of you will remember it, but I think it bears retelling, if only to prove that you can't tangle with the 'flue, eleventy-seven exam papers, and the April blues and turn out a scintillating column. So here it is. It was about 10 p.m. My wife was out to a meeting. The kids were off to sleep. I was looking at a picture in the paper, conclusive evidence that, the human race is mammalian, of Miss Jayne Mansfield, modelling a dress cut to prove that the young lady's bust is indeed bigger than her butt, or whichever it’s supposed to be. I must admit I was enjoying myself in a disgusted sort of way. Suddenly I had a nasty feeling that someone was reading over my shoulder. I whirled around and there he was. Next thing I know, I was up on top of the mantel, quavering: “Hoor you?” It wasn't the fact that he was stark naked and four feet high that startled me. Nor that he was a peculiar pea-green all over. Nor that he had only one eye, and that of deep purple, set right at the end of his short, square nose. What really shook me, and continued to alarm me throughout the ensuing exchange, was that he had something that mightily resembled a stalk of celery growing out of his navel, and that every few minutes he'd snap off a piece, sprinkle some salt on it, and shoving it into his mouth, which was, of course, located in his left armpit, crunch happily on it. Then he spoke. At least, I’m not sure whether he spoke. He may have used some type of mental telepathy, or thought transference. At any rate, we carried on a conversation. HUMANS. . . YOU’RE A GRAND LOT “Don’t be alarmed,” he soothed,’“They told me to find an average Earthman, and you're about as average as they come.” Crunch, crunch. “Well, thanks,” I retorted, trying to get some sarcasm into my shaky tremolol “Thanks very much I'm sure.” “They wondered,” he went on rather indifferently, snapping off another piece , crunch, crunch, “If there was any point in taking over this third-rate planet, as planned, and trying to do something with the natives. Far as I’m concerned you're not worth the trouble we'd have with you. But I'm only the chairman of the investigating committee.” Crunch, crunch. “Hey wait a minute!” I protested, albeit faintly. “We're not so bad as all that. We may have our little faults, but after all, we're all human and...” But I stopped talking and shook in my boots when his purple eye turned red and angry-looking. “Human, eh?” he snorted. “Oh, you're a grand lot, you humans. You preach brotherly love, and every 20 or 30 years you murder each, other by millions. You boast of human kindness, but you hold your grain for the right price while millions of humans starve. Your best brains are totally engrossed in making two things -- more horrible weapons and more money. Your churches are monuments to a lost cause. Your women are greedy shrews. You wallow in poisons -liquor, nicotine, coffee. Your heroes are adulterous actresses and thick-headed athletes...” I guess he was getting pretty worked up, because just then the top flew off his little pointed head and smoke poured out. I must have fainted in terror, because my wife came in and found me in front of the fireplace in a deep swoon. When I tried to tell her about it, she went straight to the kitchen and checked the contents of the medicinal bottle of brandy. There wasn't a drop out of it, so she said it must have been the vension pie and the cream cheese crust that I'd made for dinner. But I knew better. I stopped trying to convince her, but I did permit myself a mirthless little chuckle when she wanted to know why I had let the kids drop celery all over the living room. MOVIE REVIEW A film that is being hailed as one of the best of this or any other movie season, “Conspiracy of Hearts”, is the attraction showing Thursday and Friday at the Plaza theatre. Distinguished award winners Lilli Palmer, Sylvia Syms and Yvonne Mitchell as well as Ronald Lewis and a number of exceptionally gifted children star in the film. The story, which takes place during World War 11, in northern Italy, concerns the suspenseful under ground efforts of a group of nuns to save Jewish children from a nearby Nazi concentration camp. “Flaming Star” the tragic saga of a half-Indian youth, Elvis Presley, son of a white father John McIntyre and a full-blooded Indian mother, Delores DelRio makes for an action-packed “singing” production. Elvis' latest film boosts his acting career and proves him to be a dramatic star. The picture plays Saturday, Sunday midnight and Monday and also stars Barbara Eden and Steve Forrest. The film showing Tuesday and Wednesday at the Plaza “Sapphire” is a murder mystery set among London's student population and its hostels, dives and coffee bars. HOSPITAL MEETING The annual meeting of the Nipigon District Memorial Hospital Corporation will be held in the Red Rock Recreational Centre at 8:00 p.m., April 24th, 1961 for the purpose of reviewing the 1960 report and to elect Directors for the ensuing year. S.ENDERS Secretary Nipigon District Memorial Hospital RED ROCK RAMBLINGS RUBES PERFORMANCE COMPLETE SUCCESS by Marg Cowan Jan Rubes made a notable impression on an enthusiastic audience at the Red,Rock Recreation Centre in his Tuesday night performance. His rich ringing voice accompanied by an attractive stage presence ma.de this concert ideal for the opening of a membership drive for an Overture Concert Association for Nipigon Red Rock Area. The Overture Concert Association is a non profit organization designed to bring music and stage performances to its members at no financial risk. A canvas for the membership drive will be made during the week commencing April 24. When the membership drive is completed, the local committee will then prepare a budget for next seasons concerts. During the canvas, members are asked to indicate their preference of artists. The local committee will then select artists and the number of concerts which will fit their budget; thus more members will mean more concerts. At the close of the concert by Jan Rubes, a social hour was held with the members of the committee who worked to make the concert a success meeting the Star and his accompanist. A delicious lunch was served by Mrs. Bateman and her committee. The Women of the Auxiliary of St. Hilary's Catholic Church will hold an Easter Tea and Bake Sale in the Church Hall on Saturday, April 15, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. There will be a candy table, and a draw for a door prize. Tickets are on sale for 35% All are welcome. Sympathy is extended to Mr. and Mrs. Eric Pearson who were called to Fort Francis owing to the passing of Mrs. Pearson’s mother. Mr. and Mrs. J. Demerse and family of 74 Timmins St. accompanied son Remi of Fort William on a holiday trip to Kirkland Lake, Sudbury and Renfrew, arriving home on Thursday. Mrs. Barbara Eaman of Port Alberni and Miss Susan Swaton of Sudbury, daughters of Mr. and Mrs. W.S. Swanton, 54 Brompton Road, are visiting at home over the Easter Holiday. Mr. and Mrs. Buster Robertson of Kenora are visitors at the home of Arlene and Russell Mabelson, 87 Stadler Avenue. Dick Carpenter, home for the summer from Rhode Island, has left with Wayne Asselin for holidays in Fort Frances. Mr. Kadzielawa of Vancouver has left for home by plane after spending the past month visiting his son Art and family. Mr, and Mrs. H. Effnert of Port Arthur have been visitors during the holiday at the S. Pineaus. Mr. and Mrs. Mortey Anderson have arrived home after a week spent in Winnipeg. Our sympathy goes out to Mr. and Mrs. A.R. Taylor, called to Quebec by the passing of Mrs. Taylor's mother. Miss Joan Rendell, from Teachers’ College in Winnipeg, is visiting her family over the holiday at 103 Stadler Avenue. Miss Donna Billingsly of Lake-head Teachers' College, and friend Miss Brenda Basford, visitors at the Billingsly's will be spending the next two weeks teaching in the Nipigon Public School. UNEMPLOYMENT FACTOR VICTORIA (CP)-A spot check of the 5,700 unemployed here showed about 80% did not complete high school, H.J. Fox, National Employment Service manager, told students. Weekly X-Word Puzzle ACROSS 1. Gloomy 5. French chalk 9. Fragrance 10. Hawaiian greeting 12. Carnivorous mammal 13. King Lear’s daughter 14. Printer's measure IS. Spanish hero 17. Self 18. Music note 19. Italian lake (poss.) 21. Eastern state (abbr.) 22. Island off Scotland 23. Anguish 26. Openly hostile 28. Egress 29. Epochs 30. Tantalum (sym.) 31. Pitiful 33. Cry of pain 35. Candlenut tree 37. Hindu title 38. Hindu goddess of splendor 39. Sorts 41. Candle 43. Invest 44. Africa’s â€"â€" Coast 45. Observes 46. Tins DOWN 1. Rubbed-in dirt 2. Bulky timbers 8. Japanese apricot 4. Italian inventor 5. Slow (mus.) 6. Malt beverage 7. Theater 8. Mortification 9. Biblical character 11. Oil 16. Figure tive language 19. Young horses 20. Flower arrangement 22. Asiatic river 24. Roman money 25. Deliver over 26. Scrutinize 27. Wandering 32. Caravan goals 33. Hebrew measures 34. Cautious 36. Amos' partner 38. On 40. Owing 42. Miss Gardner THIS WEEK AT THE PLAZA SAT SUN MIDNITE MON the half breed HAD TO HURT SOMEONE HE LOVED! ELVIS PRESLEY AS PACER, THE HALF-BREED! FLAMING STAR co-starring Barbara EDEN Steve FORREST Delores DEI RIO John MclNTIRE THURS FRI Conspiracy of Hearts Shatters your emotions like no other motion picture. LILLI PALMER, SYLVIA SYMS, YVONNE MITCHELL, RONALD LEWIS TUES WED Sapphire The sensational story of a girl who didn't belong! BINGO EVERY THURS Support your local cancer campaign Sunday Midnite 12:05 A.M. Monday Thru Saturday 7 and 9 P.M. PLAZA THEATRE NIPIGON