On... This week I have a number of topics occupying my mind. First and foremost, I have been intrigued for some time about a new phenomen called The Thong. The Thong, a stringier version of the String, now gets a fair play both in daily newspapers and fashion magazines. The best pictures so far of The Thong have been printed in the Globe and Mail, usually a very conservative newspaper, as far as Canadian newspapers go. The Thong, one might say, leaves very little to the imagination. But, what the héck - a nude body is a nude body. Haven't we all seen ourselves nude at one time or another? I think, this bathing suit is quite alright to wear on the beach, if you happen to have the right kind of body. I mean, a beautiful body. Unfort- unately, I feel being discriminated against by the fashion designers, as Il never be able to wear it in public. The Almighty just didn't thin1k- of me and Thone as very compatable partners. As a matter of fact, my body and the Thong are like strange, bedfellows sharing the same bed for the first time. In all fairness to my faithful readers, . must say, that I feel a little better that the Thong is also a big flop in Hamilton. Says The Hamilton Spectator, "The Thong is too cheeky for Hamilton". And my pal Joe had this to say, "Thong? Thong who? Oh, that thing. Sorry, it's not my cup of tea." After more than ayear of construction, the famous CN Tower is still growing - not in height, but in size. And i wonder, how long will it take to finish this Seventh Wonder of the World. I think that people of Toronto and all tax- paying residents of Ontario ought to know a few questions like, how much this huge monster is going to cost to an average taxpayer? How many more years will it be sitting there like a Buddah and sticking out among Toronto sky- scrapers like a sore thumb? And, how will the public benefit from this project? To my mind, this is a wasteful project and a costly one on top of that. Not too many people will jump for joy, knowing that the CN Tower when completed, will top its nearest competitor, a com- munications tower in Moscow which reaches 1,748 feet in the sky.. The final height of the CN Tower will be 1,800 feet, according to CNR officials. Lately, the CN's wonder child has been described by the media as "new heights of achievement". Where's the achievement, I'd really like to know - skeptic as I am, about those multi-million dollar projects at the tax-payers' expense. In my little grubby hands, I have this brand new edition WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 1975, PAGE 3 Orgy in New York' and 'Some Like It Hot (yes sir)'. Unfortunately, the Bang escapes my own, sexual fantasies. The Bang turns me off with such trash as in-depth interview with Xaviera Hollander or a stupid attack on Toronto Star for refusing to accept ads of dubious quality. However, the Bang had one good story '- a story about a Santa Claus who was advertising bodyrub parlors on Yonge Street. But, (you guessed it) the well-meaning Santa go.t a snow job from the Metro Morality Squad. And, if that wasn't enough, poor Santa was broadsided by one ofhis ownelves Mr. Arnold's who runs a bodyrub place on the main drag. Mr. Arnold's, alias Mr. Linetsky, told this reporter, "I had to remove Santa from my doorway constantly.....he kept hanging around trying to warm up". This week I got a "hot" inside story from a friend of of the "National Bang", a brand new semi-pseude sex newspaper for all good Torontonians and hot-blooded Canadians from coast to coast. The Canadian "erotica review" as it is better known' to some people, is quite a publication. Bang! It has some pictures and sorne stoiies! For instance, 'Bang Penetrates Happy Hooker' 'Publicity mine who works for one of the Toronto daily newspapers. He says the Toronto Sun is suppressing a scandalous story about Rochdale College, written by one of the Sun's ace reporters. If this story ever gets printed, he remarked, the Davis government might topple. But,-it is doubtful, such an expose on Rochdale will see the light. Sun has too many friends at Queens Park. One rnight say;- a sad state of affairs. BIRD'S EYE VIEW -JIM OUAfiL Cali The Coast Guard I I mean, it al seemed so incredibly simple -just bring the thing home, f1l it with water and relax. However, some- where between the actual purchasing and the part.where I get t relax I missed a major part ofJhe.story.- And of course the'clerk didn't bother me with the details ujiil he had my money safely locked in his cash register and had given me that, 'it's too late to get your money back' look. As with all my little adventures, in the beginning it seemed like a good idea. How many times have you heard that story froma much hungover victim trying to explain his actions the night before at the party. Anyway every- body was touting these waterbed things and they all said waterbeds were just marvellous and they allowed you to get such a good night's sleep and all that. So I figured, why not?? I was in the market for a new mattress anyway because I was having operating difficulties with my old one. No mat- ter where I went to sleep on the fool thing I wound up in the great valley in the middle. One night I had a stroke of genlus and decided to turn the old mattress upside down. I didn't roll to the centre that night. Because I had turned the curl the other way I wound up on the floor with a resounding crash about four a.m. I assessed the problem and figured it out that I would either have to buy a new mattress or buy safety belts for my bed. So one day I found myself back in Toronto the good (don't ask me why they call it that) looking for a bargain water bed. I shopped around and finally after some com- parison pricing found a place that seemed to sell the same bed as everyone else but for a cheaper price tag. Of course you know the rest. After paying for my water bed the clerk asked me what I was going to do about a frame. I immediately gave him one of my 'I'm slightly retarded' looks and he said, "Well you can't just put a Queen size waterbed on the floor - it's liable to roll over in the middle of the night and squash you to death or some- thing". You can imagine how thrilled I was at that little bit of news. So he gave me some plans to make my own frame and I went home and started on the project. Like a fool I read instructions and found out the queen size held about 150 gallons of water which would weigh over 1,500 lbs. Even my limited grey matter soon figured out how dangerously close that was to a ton of water in the bedroom. I was beginning to wish I had settled for a single size waterbed instead of the queen size. In fact, the couch began to look better and better. Well a carpenter I'm Qnot. After getting the bed half filled the wood in the middle began to sag dangerously so I had to siphon the water out and reinforce the whole darn frame. About then I began to thinkhow funny it was that none of the people who thought waterbeds were so great had showed up to help me get mine set up. And I don't mean like funny - ha, ha. Once more I started to fill the bed and it seemed like forever before it started taking shape. Since I used warm water rather than cold and waiting six weeks for the thing to warm up I managed to compfetely run the house out of hot water. Finally it was filled and sealed. I tried to put the bed clothes on it and make the bed. Fat chance! My single sized sheets and blankets wouldn't even reach to the edge of the waterbed mattress and every time I tucked some- thing in the water would shift and undo the other end. Eventually I just gave up and flopped onto it for the night. It was like spending the night on an air mattress floating on the sea in a tropical storm. Eventually I got used to the ever moving liquid beneath me and now I can happily say that I actually enjoy sleeping on it. I do have one problem that I can't seem to solve easily. If I lock my cat, the Duchess, out of the bedroom for the night she raises an awful racket because she thinks that waterbed is hers. If I allow her to sleep with me for the night then I can almost be assured of being awakened in the middle of the night. The Duchess loves to sleep on top of a book shelf at the foot of the bed and the top shelf Report from the Legisiature BILL NENAN M.P.P., ONTARSO SOUTH RDIG 4' Some time ago tihre was a lot of concern regarding the North Pickering Development program in the Regional Municipality of Durham. As a result of this, I arranged for a meeting with the Premier and the Regional Council to discuss what would happen in the North Pickering area. At that meeting we agreed- that legislation would be passed setting up a Crown corporation. This corporation would act as a developer in the North Pickering area and would deal with the municipalities involved, the Town of Picker- ing and the Regional Municipality, in the same way as any other developer. This decision was mutually agreed to at the meeting with the Premier. It was also promised that before the Bill went before the House there would be an opportunity for discussion on il. Prior t- the Bill being introduced in the House, a draft copy was taken and a meeting was held with the Regional Chairman, Regional Planner and a lawyer for the Region. There were some suggestions of.changes in the Bil by the Regional lawyer. These changes were, in fact, implemented and the Bill was introduced into the Legislature. After that there was a meeting with senior officials of the Ministry of Housing and some of the people from the Region. There was a later meeting with Hlousing officials and the Region to discuss the contents of the Bill. is about two and a half feet above the bed. Sometimes in the middle of the night the Duchess de- cides it's time to prowl around so she takes a giant leap and hits the bed like a ton of bricks. Usually about this time I'm having a nightmare about 150 gallons of water being sud- denly unleashed in the bedroom and all of a sudden bam! The surf is up and I'm being violently rocked in the bed by the shock waves the Duchess made when she hit all that water. My dream always ends the same - I awake with a start and begin screaming, "Call the Coastguard quick! I'm in trouble out here!" Now if I could just remember who put me on to waterbeds in the first place........... I feel that following the meeting we had with the Premier, ail the comnitments were carried out in the North Pickering Development corporation and the corporation wil be no different than any other developer and will have to meet the requirements of the municipalities involved. As far as planning is concerned, it wil come under the pur- view of the Planning Act. PBaiCIP3CrnW Fitness. In your heart you know it's right. GREAT WALL RESTAURANT 668-7021 FREE DELIVERY BUSINESS HOURS Monday - Thursday ..... il....1 a.m. - I .a.m. Friday and Saturday ....... 11 a.m. - 3 a.m. Sunday ........................... I1 a.m. - 10 p.m . 116 Dundas St. West Whitby