DEAR SIR:—On Dominion Day, and in 
fact every day since, I have heard
people wonder, conjecture, and surmise
on the non-appearance of the Right
Honorable Sir John A. Macdonald,
Knight of the Garter, Knight Command-
er of the Bath, Knight of the Grand
Cross of the Bath and Knight of the
Legion of Honor, at Grimsby Park on
Dominion Day.
Some allowed that he never intended
to come, others that he never promised
to come, and others that he was afraid
that the Grits would accuse him of try-
ing to catch the Methodist vote. Some
even were mean enough to insinuate
that the old man was, 'sick" — Base lie.
Now Mr. Editor it may not be gener-
ally known, but it is a fact nevertheless
that Sir John had seven first class reasons
for not attending the opening of the
Park, and I will give them as briefly
as possible.
lst. He did'nt want to. That is
the first and most important reason, 
and the other six he had manufactured
for the occasion.
2nd. He had'nt a single "red necktie"
but had been worn and as Saturday was
a half holiday and the stores closed on
Sunday also, it was impossible for him
to get a new necktie and therefore could
not appear in public.
3rd. As Monday was a holiday, all
the Cabinet ministers were off ''work"
and the "Old man" thought it would
be a good time to take a look through
their "portfolios" to see if they had
been grabbing any of the $20,000,000
that has been laying around so care-
lessly.
4th. A Post-master at Thunder Bay
had skipped out 6 months ago and had
taken 13 Post cards and 21 one-cent
stamps with him, and Sir John had to
bustle around Dominion morning and
send the 2nd deputy assistant Post
master General to investigate the matter,
and to feel the people's pulse on the 
duty on crow bars.
5th. Slow-runner Bill, 9th cousin to
the late lamented Joseph Brant, lost his
squaw and two lovely papouses by elope-
ment with bad white men. and Sir
John the great white chief (although
there is doubts about that) had to tele-
graph his congratulations to Slow-runner
on what might appear to him a loss but
what, the old man assured him, was
most certainly a gain.
6th. This reason is one of the best
on the program, but in case of a libel
suit I will not give **** reason was
that Johnnie was having a little jubilee
with the boys.		
7th. This reason is just the same as
the last only altogether different and for
fear that that people might think there
was a contridiction we will not give it.
The fact of the matter is that the
"grand old man" was out organizing
temperance societies — It is to be hoped 
he started with "Saloon in the base-
ment."	Yours truly,
Joe  Beans.
Why He Didn't Come.
EDITOR OF INDEPENDENT,